Learning To Spell With Leroy

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Yes, people, I realize this isn't exactly what you would call politically correct, and might be perceived as perpetuating racial typcasting, but I think it actually holds that sort of stereotyping up for the ridicule it so obviously deserves.

LEARNING TO SPELL WITH LEROY


This is “Learning to spell with Leroy.” I be Leroy Jackson, and today we’re going to spell the word____________. Spell it with me now___________. Now let’s use it in a sentence.


Afford; “I wanted to buy a Cadillac, but had to settle for afford.”

Anus; “The policeman told me and my friend Jerome that they be looking for the two guys what held up the liquor store and we said...anus.”

Assert; “On the way home from work, I always take assert so my old lady don’t smell no liquor on my breath.”

Bagdad; “I always wondered what was in the Bagdad used to drink out of when he was sitting on the stoop.”

Battery; “The coach told my cousin Reggie he better start swingin’ the battery won’t be in the line up tomorrow.”

Beware; “I asked the man at the unemployment office if this beware I finds me a job?”

Button; “My girlfriend Juanita bought some leopard skin stretch pants. I said, girl you won’t be gettin’ your button ‘em.”

Catacomb; “I went to the Douglas vs Hollyfield fight and sat right next to Don King. Man, somebody ought to get that catacomb.”

Clothesline; “When I came home late again, I found my clothesline on the porch.”

Coatroom; “The judge said one more outburst like that and I’ll have the bailiff clear the coatroom.”

Connoisseur; “I says to my friend Ramone, man you really stink today, what connoisseur did you crawl out of?”

Copulate; “I called 911 and in about an hour, when they finally showed up, I said copulate.”

Data; “At my basketball game the other night, I score a triple double and my coach says data my boy, Leroy.”


Decide; “My favourite girls is Wanda and Yolanda, but I like to keep a couple on decide.”

Derange; “Derange is where the deer and the antelope play.”

Dimension; “A lot of you ladies been calling in wondering what Leroy look like. Well, he’s tall, dark, handsome, not dimension hung like a horse.”

Disappointment; “My parole officer told me, if I miss disappointment, he’s going to send me back to the big house.”

Fascinate; “My sister Florence bought a sweater with ten buttons on it, but her boobs is so big she can only fascinate.”

Foreclose; “If I don’t pay my alimony this month, I’ll have more money foreclose.”

Formaldehyde; “The police came to my door looking for my cousin Melvin. I told them there ain’t no place formaldehyde in the house, it be too small.”

Fortify; I asked this bitch down on the street corner how much? She said fortify dollars, honey.”

Homo; “The bitch I’m livin’ with called me at the bar the other night. She said, Leroy, honey, you comin’ homo what?”

Honor; “At our rape trial the judge asked my buddy Jarvis, who be honor first?’

Horde; “My mama always did have a bad reputation cause she horde around in her school.”

Income: “My girlfriend and I just got into bed, when income my wife.”

July; “After the trial, my mama asked me, did you tell the truth or July?”

Letter; “The ugly bitch from downstairs came knockin’ on Leroy’s door the other night and I wouldn’t letter in.”

Manual; “I told my buddy Tyrone, manual get yourself in trouble if you keep messin’ with that hoe.”

Menstruate; “With the fashions today you can’t hardly keep the women and menstruate.”

Odyssey; “When I got back from the strip joint, I told my friends, you odyssey the boobs on that babe.”

Oral; “My friend Sebastian said, gimme fifty bucks oral blow your head off.”

Oreo; “I told my friend, Alonzo, if he wanted my sister, he could give me 50 bucks now oreo me 100 bucks on Friday.”

Orgasm; “I asked my cousin, Dexter, about the death penalty in his state. I asked if they electrocute ‘em, hang ‘em, orgasm.”

Penis; “I saw my parole officer the other day and he handed me a little paper cup and said, here penis.”

Polyp; “On my way home from the Piston’s game the other night, I was involved in a five-car polyp on I-75.”

Rectum; “I had two Cadillacs, but my girlfriend rectum both.”

Seldom; “I had two extra tickets to the basketball game, so I seldom to my friend.”

Semen; “I never did know who my papa was, cause my mama semen left and right.”

Sodomy; “When I go out at night, I like to have a bitch on one sodomy and another bitch on the other sodomy.”

Stain; “My sister and brother-in-law stopped by the other day, so I asked them, you plannin’ on stain?”

Undermine; “There’s a fine lookin’ bitch livin’ in the apartment right undermine.”

Urinal; “After the police broke down my front door last night, they said, Leroy, urinal lot of trouble.”

Widen; “When my girlfriend, Larina, told me she was pregnant I said, widen tell me you didn’t use no birth control?”