Facts About Men

**Bumper** · 10-03-2004

FACTS ABOUT MEN

1. Men like to barbeque. Men will cook if there is danger involved.

2. Men who have pierced ears are better prepared for marriage. They are used to pain, and have had experience in buying jewelry.

3. Marrying a divorced man is ecologically responsible. In a world where there are more women than men, it pays to recycle.

4. Men are very confident people. They are so confident that when they watch sports on TV, they think if they concentrate, they can help their team. If the team is in trouble, they believe they can effectively coach the players from the living room.

5. Men like phones with lots of buttons, it makes them feel important.

6. Men love to be the first to read the newspapers in the morning. Not being the first is upsetting to their psyches.

7. Men are afraid of eyelash curlers.

8. A good place to meet a man is at the dry cleaner. These men usually have jobs and bathe.

9. All men hate to hear “We need to talk about our relationship”. These seven words even strike fear into the heart of General Norman Schwartzkopf.

10. Men are sensitive in strange ways. If a man has built a fire and the last log does not burn, he will take it personally.

11. Men have an easier time buying bathing suits. Women have two types: depressing and more depressing. Men have two types as well: nerdy and not nerdy.

12. Men have higher body temperatures than women. If your heating goes out in winter, sleeping next to a man is recommended. Men are like portable heaters that snore.

13. Women take clothing much more seriously than men. There have been no reported incidents of a man walking into a party and saying, “Oh my God, I’m so embarrassed, get me out of here. There’s another man wearing a black tuxedo”.

14. Most men hate to shop. That’s why the men’s department is generally on the main floor of a department store, two inches from the entrance.

15. If a man prepares dinner for you, and the salad contains more than one kind of lettuce, he’s serious.

16. If you are dating a man who you think may be “Mr. Right”, if only he
a. Got older
b. Got a new job
c. Visited a psychiatrist
You are in for a nasty surprise. The “cocoon to butterfly” theory only works on cocoons and butterflies.

17. When four or more men get together, they talk about sports.

18. When four or more women get together, they talk about men.

19. Men are less sentimental than women. No man has ever seen the movie The Way We Were more than once.

20. Most women are introspective. “Am I in love? Am I emotionally and creatively fulfilled?” Most men are more externally oriented. “Did my team win? How’s my car?”

21. If a man says, “I’ll call you,” and he doesn’t, he didn’t forget...he didn’t lose your number...he didn’t die. He just didn’t want to call you.

22. Getting rid of a man without doing permanent damage to his masculinity is a problem. “Get out!” and “I never want to see you again!”, might be interpreted as a challenge. If you want to get rid of a man, I suggest saying “I love you...I want to marry you...I want to have your children.” Sometimes they leave skid marks.

23. Male menopause is a lot more fun than female menopause. With female menopause you gain weight and experience hot flashes. When male menopause occurs, you get to date young girls and drive motorcycles.

24. Men forget everything; women remember everything. That’s why men need instant replays in sports. They’ve already forgotten what happened.

Nerak936 · 10-03-2004

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bumper

FACTS ABOUT MEN

12. Men have higher body temperatures than women. If your heating goes out in winter, sleeping next to a man is recommended. Men are like portable heaters that snore.

This one is SO true! David throws off about 500,000 BTU's. No electric blanket needed with him around. Funny to see us on the sofa in the wintertime.... he'll be in a t-shirt and barefeet while I'm in flannel PJ's, long warm robe, socks, and slippers!

Ginger · 10-03-2004

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bumper

FACTS ABOUT MEN

1. Men like to barbeque. Men will cook if there is danger involved.

Good one, Bump. In our house, John does all the cooking because there is always danger involved if I try to cook.

The other day, Kelsey walked into the kitchen and saw me putting frozen pizzas in the oven and stopped dead in her tracks: "wait...are you cooking dinner?!" I told her yes. She says, "oh man, cover your ears Jorden, the smoke detector's going to be going off. And get ready to call for delivery."

cuffedlinks · 10-03-2004

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nerak936

This one is SO true! David throws off about 500,000 BTU's. No electric blanket needed with him around. Funny to see us on the sofa in the wintertime.... he'll be in a t-shirt and barefeet while I'm in flannel PJ's, long warm robe, socks, and slippers!

Oh, I can imagine how HOT under the collar you'd be IF Viniatieri misses a game-winner...!!

And being he's from where I live it would lead the sports that night too...

mckinzie · 10-03-2004

Quote:

Originally Posted by cuffedlinks

Oh, I can imagine how HOT under the collar you'd be IF Viniatieri misses a game-winner...!!

And being he's from where I live it would lead the sports that night too...

Karen

mckinzie · 10-03-2004

[quote][quote=Bumper15. If a man prepares dinner for you, and the salad contains more than one kind of lettuce, he’s serious[/QUOTE]That's a good one Bump

Quote:

19. Men are less sentimental than women. No man has ever seen the movie The Way We Were more than once.

Does that include when Harry met Sally?

Seakony · 10-03-2004

4. Men are very confident people. They are so confident that when they watch sports on TV, they think if they concentrate, they can help their team. If the team is in trouble, they believe they can effectively coach the players from the living room.

So true! Slim came home from watching the Steeler game bragging about how he "called the play" just before the Steelers caught an interception and ran it back for a touchdown. He talks to the tv and the team all the time.

TAPPY · 10-03-2004

[quote=mckinzie]

Quote:

Does that include when Harry met Sally?

Prob anything with Meg Ryan in it !!!!!

Sue · 10-03-2004

Quote:

Originally Posted by TAPPY

Prob anything with Meg Ryan in it !!!!!

Okay - what about "Princess Bride"? I swear - a guy has either never seen this movie and never will, or he's seen it, like, 15 times. And it's a good indicator, too, on what kind of guy he is.....

**sctx** · 10-04-2004

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sue

Okay - what about "Princess Bride"? I swear - a guy has either never seen this movie and never will, or he's seen it, like, 15 times. And it's a good indicator, too, on what kind of guy he is.....

One of my personal favorites... sword fights, rodents of unusual size, Andre the Giant, and a really hot blonde who's name escapes me.... but the reall reason is the soundtrack, Mark Knopfler knows guitars !!! So I don't know where you were going with the "what kinda guy" comment... but I think sword fights, rats, professional wrestling, good guitar work, and hot blonde chicks make for a manly movie, and I feel very secure in my sexuality !!!

cuffedlinks · 10-04-2004

Quote:

Originally Posted by sctx

a really hot blonde who's name escapes me.... hot blonde chicks make for a manly movie!!!

Robin Wright Penn...Sean's wife.

Did a great job in the movie: "Message in a Bottle" - BTW another "chick flick"...
Also White Oleander - Unbreakable and VERY GOOD in Moll Flanders.
(And Jenny in Forrest Gump)

I have to admit - I'm a chick-flick fan...

Quote:

Originally Posted by TAPPY

Prob anything with Meg Ryan in it !!!!!

How about, "In the Cut"?

Nerak936 · 10-04-2004

[quote=mckinzie]

Quote:

Does that include when Harry met Sally?

I assume so!! Hell, they'd watch that just to see Meg Ryan do that fake orgasm scene in the diner!!

A classic scene remembered by all who've seen it, I'm sure!!

"I'll have what she's having....."

Nerak936 · 10-04-2004

Quote:

Originally Posted by cuffedlinks

Oh, I can imagine how HOT under the collar you'd be IF Viniatieri misses a game-winner...!!

And being he's from where I live it would lead the sports that night too...

You mean Adam can actually MISS?????

I won't stand for that kind of talk, Mr. Cuffed!!!

And you too, Kinz!!

Sue · 10-04-2004

Quote:

Originally Posted by sctx

One of my personal favorites... sword fights, rodents of unusual size, Andre the Giant, and a really hot blonde who's name escapes me.... but the reall reason is the soundtrack, Mark Knopfler knows guitars !!! So I don't know where you were going with the "what kinda guy" comment... but I think sword fights, rats, professional wrestling, good guitar work, and hot blonde chicks make for a manly movie, and I feel very secure in my sexuality !!!

It's a guy-geek movie.

And I'm not saying that "geek" is necessarily a bad thing. And I'm not saying it's an obvious, tape on your glasses kind of thing. Personally, I think it's a necessary characteristic in a man. A guy that hasn't seen the movie or will never see the movie, or wouldn't at all like the movie if he did see it, probably would not be my kind of guy. He'd probably be a meathead. But I'm gonna' stop now before I really tick someone off, in case I haven't already.....

mckinzie · 10-04-2004

Quote:

Originally Posted by sctx

One of my personal favorites... sword fights, rodents of unusual size, Andre the Giant, and a really hot blonde who's name escapes me.... but the reall reason is the soundtrack, Mark Knopfler knows guitars !!! So I don't know where you were going with the "what kinda guy" comment... but I think sword fights, rats, professional wrestling, good guitar work, and hot blonde chicks make for a manly movie, and I feel very secure in my sexuality !!!

The Von Ericks always had that kind of following

10-03-2004	#1 (permalink)
Bumper Class Clown Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Winnipeg, Canada Posts: 9,753	Facts About Men FACTS ABOUT MEN 1. Men like to barbeque. Men will cook if there is danger involved. 2. Men who have pierced ears are better prepared for marriage. They are used to pain, and have had experience in buying jewelry. 3. Marrying a divorced man is ecologically responsible. In a world where there are more women than men, it pays to recycle. 4. Men are very confident people. They are so confident that when they watch sports on TV, they think if they concentrate, they can help their team. If the team is in trouble, they believe they can effectively coach the players from the living room. 5. Men like phones with lots of buttons, it makes them feel important. 6. Men love to be the first to read the newspapers in the morning. Not being the first is upsetting to their psyches. 7. Men are afraid of eyelash curlers. 8. A good place to meet a man is at the dry cleaner. These men usually have jobs and bathe. 9. All men hate to hear “We need to talk about our relationship”. These seven words even strike fear into the heart of General Norman Schwartzkopf. 10. Men are sensitive in strange ways. If a man has built a fire and the last log does not burn, he will take it personally. 11. Men have an easier time buying bathing suits. Women have two types: depressing and more depressing. Men have two types as well: nerdy and not nerdy. 12. Men have higher body temperatures than women. If your heating goes out in winter, sleeping next to a man is recommended. Men are like portable heaters that snore. 13. Women take clothing much more seriously than men. There have been no reported incidents of a man walking into a party and saying, “Oh my God, I’m so embarrassed, get me out of here. There’s another man wearing a black tuxedo”. 14. Most men hate to shop. That’s why the men’s department is generally on the main floor of a department store, two inches from the entrance. 15. If a man prepares dinner for you, and the salad contains more than one kind of lettuce, he’s serious. 16. If you are dating a man who you think may be “Mr. Right”, if only he a. Got older b. Got a new job c. Visited a psychiatrist You are in for a nasty surprise. The “cocoon to butterfly” theory only works on cocoons and butterflies. 17. When four or more men get together, they talk about sports. 18. When four or more women get together, they talk about men. 19. Men are less sentimental than women. No man has ever seen the movie The Way We Were more than once. 20. Most women are introspective. “Am I in love? Am I emotionally and creatively fulfilled?” Most men are more externally oriented. “Did my team win? How’s my car?” 21. If a man says, “I’ll call you,” and he doesn’t, he didn’t forget...he didn’t lose your number...he didn’t die. He just didn’t want to call you. 22. Getting rid of a man without doing permanent damage to his masculinity is a problem. “Get out!” and “I never want to see you again!”, might be interpreted as a challenge. If you want to get rid of a man, I suggest saying “I love you...I want to marry you...I want to have your children.” Sometimes they leave skid marks. 23. Male menopause is a lot more fun than female menopause. With female menopause you gain weight and experience hot flashes. When male menopause occurs, you get to date young girls and drive motorcycles. 24. Men forget everything; women remember everything. That’s why men need instant replays in sports. They’ve already forgotten what happened. __________________ Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a pristine, well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally used up and worn out, shouting "Holy Shit...what a ride!!"

10-03-2004	#7 (permalink)
Seakony añejo Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: no longer in Mesquite with nothing to do Posts: 10,148	4. Men are very confident people. They are so confident that when they watch sports on TV, they think if they concentrate, they can help their team. If the team is in trouble, they believe they can effectively coach the players from the living room. So true! Slim came home from watching the Steeler game bragging about how he "called the play" just before the Steelers caught an interception and ran it back for a touchdown. He talks to the tv and the team all the time.

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