Inmigration to Canada (Warning! Political joke)

**Jesus** · 11-08-2004

November 3, 2004
Breaking News
CANADA REPORTS HUGE JUMP IN IMMIGRATION

Over 55,000,000 Requests for Citizenship Since Tuesday Night.
Canadian immigration officials have reported a huge increase in the
number of requests for Canadian citizenship in the past twenty-four
hours, with over fifty-five million such inquiries pouring in since
late Tuesday night.
Of those fifty-five million requests, well over 99.99% of them
came from U.S. citizens, the lion's share residing in such states as
New York, California, Massachusetts, Oregon, Washington,
Pennsylvania, New Jersey, Vermont, Maine, Rhode Island, Connecticut,
Delaware, Maryland, and the District of Columbia.
Canadian Foreign Affairs Minister Pierre Pettigrew said that he
was "flabbergasted" by the fifty-five-million-plus requests
for Canadian citizenship, adding that it was difficult to pinpoint
the precise reasons for the staggering increase.
"My only theory is that after many years of exposure in the
U.S., hockey is finally starting to catch on," Mr. Pettigrew
said. He cautioned, however, that it is impossible to know exactly
what is sparking the sudden interest in America's frozen neighbor to
the north: "People answering our immigration hotline say that it
is hard to understand many of the American callers because they are
sobbing uncontrollably."
In other news, President Bush used his acceptance speech
Wednesday to reach out to supporters of Sen. John Kerry, telling
them, "You can run, but you can't hide."
Meanwhile, in his first statement since being voted out of
office Tuesday night, Senate Minority Leader Tom Daschle said,
"Do you want fries with that?"
Elsewhere, experts said that exit polls may have falsely
predicted a Kerry victory because Kerry voters exited while Bush
voters stayed behind and voted again.

TAPPY · 11-08-2004

The renewed interest in Hockey no doubt !!!!!

Softy57 · 11-08-2004

check out a post I made in Bumpa's world,under his 1st "read me" note...same thing...great minds think alike,and Jesus is only 19 or so....theres hope for the world...someone IS payin attention.

NaKin · 11-08-2004

Anyone else here think Pierre Pettigrew looks a lot like John Laroquette from Night Court? I think it's the hair...

If the the immigration for these 55,000,000 doesn't work out, they can try
this

MikeW · 11-08-2004

The new Canada

Seakony · 11-08-2004

Poor Canada. your health program won't know what hit them.....joking..people...joking

Quinn · 11-09-2004

It'a got to be the hockey, what else is there?

**Bumper** · 11-09-2004

This is the wording on the plaque on the Statue of Liberty - an Emma Lazarus composition, who some folks seem to think applies to northward migration.

"Keep, ancient lands, your storied pomp! Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free, the wretched refuse of your teeming shore. Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me, I lift my lamp beside the golden door!"

WRONG!! Canada has rolled up the welcome mat! We produce quite enough deadbeats of our own, without having to import. The nation has sufficient political malcontents, to say nothing of other stripes of sore losers. Our inventory of tired, poor, huddled masses and wretched refuse is quite adequate to address our current requirements, thank you very much. As for yearning to breathe free...trust me...nothing is free in Canada!

TAPPY · 11-09-2004

Bumper you are a "Moderator" !!!!!!!!!!!

StephenB · 11-09-2004

E Pluribus Unum

Rissask · 11-09-2004

Good one Bump....

Mike- love the 'Jesusland' map.....

STOGEY · 11-09-2004

I guess there are just some people who are just not use to not having everything their way.

roni · 11-09-2004

Those of us in Oregon don't need to move to Canada -

**Bumper** · 11-10-2004

Quote:

Originally Posted by roni

Those of us in Oregon don't need to move to Canada -

Too right, Ron. Been to Oregon and it's beautiful, especially to us flatlanders.

**Jesus** · 11-11-2004

Me 19? Are jocking? you forgot to add 20 to those 19.
And Jesusland? hey that sounds terrific, but in the map you are forgetting the territorie south of Texas.

Have fun, see ya´.

11-08-2004	#1 (permalink)
Jesus Nutty Peep Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Mexico City, Mexico Posts: 4,869	Inmigration to Canada (Warning! Political joke) November 3, 2004 Breaking News CANADA REPORTS HUGE JUMP IN IMMIGRATION Over 55,000,000 Requests for Citizenship Since Tuesday Night. Canadian immigration officials have reported a huge increase in the number of requests for Canadian citizenship in the past twenty-four hours, with over fifty-five million such inquiries pouring in since late Tuesday night. Of those fifty-five million requests, well over 99.99% of them came from U.S. citizens, the lion's share residing in such states as New York, California, Massachusetts, Oregon, Washington, Pennsylvania, New Jersey, Vermont, Maine, Rhode Island, Connecticut, Delaware, Maryland, and the District of Columbia. Canadian Foreign Affairs Minister Pierre Pettigrew said that he was "flabbergasted" by the fifty-five-million-plus requests for Canadian citizenship, adding that it was difficult to pinpoint the precise reasons for the staggering increase. "My only theory is that after many years of exposure in the U.S., hockey is finally starting to catch on," Mr. Pettigrew said. He cautioned, however, that it is impossible to know exactly what is sparking the sudden interest in America's frozen neighbor to the north: "People answering our immigration hotline say that it is hard to understand many of the American callers because they are sobbing uncontrollably." In other news, President Bush used his acceptance speech Wednesday to reach out to supporters of Sen. John Kerry, telling them, "You can run, but you can't hide." Meanwhile, in his first statement since being voted out of office Tuesday night, Senate Minority Leader Tom Daschle said, "Do you want fries with that?" Elsewhere, experts said that exit polls may have falsely predicted a Kerry victory because Kerry voters exited while Bush voters stayed behind and voted again.

11-08-2004	#2 (permalink)
TAPPY añejo Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Louisiana Posts: 15,273	The renewed interest in Hockey no doubt !!!!! Last edited by TAPPY; 11-08-2004 at 07:12 PM.

11-08-2004	#3 (permalink)
Softy57 añejo Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Massachusetts,U.S.A. Posts: 1,701	Hi Tappy & Jesus check out a post I made in Bumpa's world,under his 1st "read me" note...same thing...great minds think alike,and Jesus is only 19 or so....theres hope for the world...someone IS payin attention.

11-09-2004	#9 (permalink)
TAPPY añejo Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Louisiana Posts: 15,273	Bumper you are a "Moderator" !!!!!!!!!!! Last edited by TAPPY; 11-09-2004 at 02:04 PM.

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11-08-2004	#4 (permalink)
NaKin toe in water Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Teronna, Canada, eh Posts: 46	Anyone else here think Pierre Pettigrew looks a lot like John Laroquette from Night Court? I think it's the hair... If the the immigration for these 55,000,000 doesn't work out, they can try this

11-08-2004	#5 (permalink)
MikeW añejo Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Moorpark, CA Posts: 9,680	The new Canada

11-08-2004	#6 (permalink)
Seakony añejo Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: no longer in Mesquite with nothing to do Posts: 10,149	Poor Canada. your health program won't know what hit them.....joking..people...joking

11-09-2004	#7 (permalink)
Quinn beachaholic Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Vancouver BC Posts: 442	It'a got to be the hockey, what else is there?

11-09-2004	#8 (permalink)
Bumper Class Clown Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Winnipeg, Canada Posts: 10,062	This is the wording on the plaque on the Statue of Liberty - an Emma Lazarus composition, who some folks seem to think applies to northward migration. "Keep, ancient lands, your storied pomp! Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free, the wretched refuse of your teeming shore. Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me, I lift my lamp beside the golden door!" WRONG!! Canada has rolled up the welcome mat! We produce quite enough deadbeats of our own, without having to import. The nation has sufficient political malcontents, to say nothing of other stripes of sore losers. Our inventory of tired, poor, huddled masses and wretched refuse is quite adequate to address our current requirements, thank you very much. As for yearning to breathe free...trust me...nothing is free in Canada!

11-09-2004	#10 (permalink)
StephenB añejo Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: New York State Posts: 2,388	E Pluribus Unum

11-09-2004	#11 (permalink)
Rissask Brit basher Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: Saskatoon, Saskatchewan, Canada Posts: 20,912	Good one Bump.... Mike- love the 'Jesusland' map.....

11-09-2004	#12 (permalink)
STOGEY Allah Akhbar Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: salisbury, mass. Posts: 6,967	I guess there are just some people who are just not use to not having everything their way.

11-09-2004	#13 (permalink)
roni Happy Curmudgeon Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Oregon Posts: 28,681	Those of us in Oregon don't need to move to Canada -

11-11-2004	#15 (permalink)
Jesus Nutty Peep Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Mexico City, Mexico Posts: 4,869	Me 19? Are jocking? you forgot to add 20 to those 19. And Jesusland? hey that sounds terrific, but in the map you are forgetting the territorie south of Texas. Have fun, see ya´.

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