alarm goes off at 4:40 a.m., Cinco de Mayo……. Jumped outta bed, grabbed a cup of a very nice Chiapan Altura/Maui/Moka Java blend coffee and headed out to the patio for a smoke
….. figured I’d give Lil G till 4:52 before I woke her up…… normally, awakening Lil G at such an hour would be considered suicidal for me, so I usually delegate this dangerous task to Ms Donna or Lulu…… but, since neither of the girlfriends were here that morning
, and being somewhat protected by the fact that I was waking her to get on a plane to Mexico…. I quietly walked into the bedroom, shook her left foot, and asked her……
“Wanna go to Mexico”……… Lil G tweaks her eyes open, smiles, and says softly…… “yeeeeeeeeees!!!!”
…. then she jumps up, throws on her clothes, loads her suitcase and makeup tackle box in the truck and we’re out the driveway headin to Austin at 4:58….. 32 minutes ahead of schedule !!!!!!…….. well
…….. anyway, we got everything loaded up, said our goodbyes to the kids, and hit the road for Austin at 5:43…….. only 13 minutes behind schedule !!!!
……… dropped my truck at the office, cabbed it to the airport, and pulled up to the BAGB (Big Ass Green Building) on the south end of the Austin airport……. Home of VIVA Aerobus !!!!
……. in comparison to where all the other airlines fly out of in the main terminal, the BAGB is like the 1968 doublewide trailer down at the end of the runway…… there were about 30 people in front of us and two clerks processing the passes…… one, was a very cute Salma Hayek looking girl
who was rather quick at her job and the other was a chubby dude still in training and looking totally confused as to why he was even there in the first place……. And of course……… my wonderful Lil G chooses the Salma line for me and we just breeze thru check-in and are back outside having a pre-flight smoke in 11 minutes !!!!……… well
….. anyway, after 38 minutes we make it thru “chubby dude still in training and looking totally confused as to why he was even there in the first place”’s line and are outside in the “designated smoking area”…….. of course, in Austin, “designated smoking areas” are ALWAYS located in front of the main 2” gas meter
……. I guess the city councils thought process is…… “Smoking Kills….. but exploding gas meters KILL FASTER”
…….. made our way thru security and on to the gate…… cool !!!
…… plane holds like 200 people ……. Pretty logical that 80% of the people buying airline tickets actually forget about showing up for their flight…….. yeah, 16 seats will be about all that is needed in the gate area
….. grabbed a spot on the floor and waited……. 8:25 departure so we shouldn’t wait long…… about 7:45, everyone started to bull rush the 3 gate lines “A”, ‘B”, and “C”….. we were in line “B” about 14 people from the front….. boarding started promptly at 7:55 and we left the gate at 8:25 ….. right on schedule !!!!……….. well
………..anyway……. we did bull rushed the gate at 7:45 and stood there…….. and we stood there….. and we stood there….. about 9:15 we followed the “A” line out onto the tarmac and we’re luck enough to be the first people allowed to board via the back door….. GREAT !!!!!
…… this will be like flyin reverse first class, we’ll be first off the plane in Cancun, be able to jet thru immigration and customs and be in our car 30 minutes after we hit the ground !!!
……….. well
……. anyway….. made it to Cancun, pulled up to the gate, and then found out that they rent a real jetway in Cancun, so we’d be stuck behind EVERYONE getting off the plane
……… no problems at immigration, both of our checked bags made it to Cancun, so all we had to do was press the button, collect our green light, and we’d be gone !!!!……. FIRST TIME in 13 years, I reach out, push the button, and get a red light
…….. so, I dropped my bags, raised my hands in the air, and prepared myself for being searched….. luckily, the customs chicas were more interested in Lil G’s makeup tackle box than my backpack and suitcase, so after a brief 17 minute cosmetics discussion, we were hitchin a ride with some dude named Jose to go pick up our car …… drove out to 307 and headed north to Caribbean Rental Car’s new office….. nice place, but they don’t have the Dodge Stratus I booked
….. appears that I could downgrade to a Tsuru without a discount or upgrade to a Jeep for $140 more
…… crap, “gimme the damn Tsuru”
……. But, during inspection, it was noted that the spare tire was flat, so we headed down to Pemex to air it up…… well, on closer inspection, the spare had a rip in the sidewall, so we headed back to the office to get a new spare
……. Well, Jose couldn’t find a spare that matched, so he said he’d just get another car for us….. I was thinking “Great !!! we get the Jeep at a discount !!!”
…….. well……. anyway……. What does Jose come back with ???…… Jose comes back in just what I wanted….. a beat up white Dodge Stratus !!!
…… we spent about 34 minutes marking up the check out sheet, woulda put more marks down for dents but the pen ran outta ink…… just before he hands me the keys, Jose informs that it has no gas
..... but the Pemex is ½ km down the road
……. fine, whatever….. I grab the keys and we ease down 307 to get some gas…… as we bump over the tope just before the station, the car kinda sputters, but we grab some momentum on the backside of the tope and coast up to the pump….. jump out, check the tires and then hand the attendant 200 pesos for some gas, and I watch as he pumps 200 pesos worth of gas……. Next stop is Puerto Moreles for the money exchange and Lil G’s first Modelo of the day, she's happy now
……. Sat thru about 30 minutes of traffic in Playa before we made it to Covi, where I had to pick up some primo tequila sip for my belated birthday present…… was eyein the Herraudra Seleccion Suprema, but they wanted 2400 pesos
.....and I think it was the same damn bottle that I saw there 2 ½ years ago for 1700 pesos……. I pass on that and the clerk suggested a bottle of Maestro Tequilero…. It had a nice dark caramel color, so I had a good feeling about this one… plus, it was only 900 pesos and I got a free lighter as well !!!!!!
………. pesos, beer, tequila……. next stop…….. AKUMAL !!!!