Recipe for Christmas cookies

geraldh · 12-07-2004

I tried to put this in the Forum Fun Features but wasn't able to so I'll post it here. Don't know if this has been posted in the past but thought it might make for some enjoyable reading.

Christmas Cookie Recipe

1 cup of water
1 tsp baking soda
1 cup of sugar
1 tsp salt
1 cup of brown sugar
2 tsp lemon juice
4 large eggs
1 cup nuts
2 cups of dried fruit
1 bottle Jose Cuervo Tequila

Sample the Cuervo to check quality. Take a large bowl, check the Cuervo
again, to be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level cup and
drink.

Turn on the electric mixer... Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl.

Add one teaspoon of sugar... Beat again. At this point it's best to make
sure the Cuervo is still OK, try another cup ... just in case.

Turn off the mixerer thingy. Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in
the cup of dried fruit, Pick the frigging fruit off floor...

Mix on the turner. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers just pry
it loose with a drewscriver. Sample the Cuervo to check for tonsisticity.

Next, sift two cups of salt, or something. Who giveshz a sheet. Check the
Jose Cuervo. Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one table.
Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink. Whatever you can find. Greash the oven.

Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over. Don't forget to
beat off the turner. Finally, throw the bowl through the window, finish the
Cose Juervo and make sure to put the stove in the dishwasher.

CHERRY MISTMAS

Seakony · 12-07-2004

Now I wish I had that recipe yesterday. I spent all day making Italian Fig cookies.... and it is an all day job. The Jose Cuervo would have been a blessing.

TAPPY · 12-07-2004

I always thought you made Christmas cookies by cutting up a large log of cookie dough......slice and bake !!!!

**Bumper** · 12-07-2004

Well, if we're going to swap recipes, I offer the following. Very similar in nature, but produces a different end product...or maybe not.

CHRISTMAS FRUITCAKE RECIPE

1 Cup Water
1 Cup Sugar
4 Large Eggs
2 Cups Dried Fruit
1 Teaspoon Salt
1 Teaspoon Baking Soda
1 Cup Brown Sugar
Lemon Juice
Nuts
1 Bottle Brandy

Sample the brandy to check for quality. Take a large bowl. Check the brandy again to be sure it is of the highest quality. Pour one level cup and drink. Repeat. Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add a teaspoon of sugar and beat again. Make sure the brandy is still okay. Cry another tup. Turn off mixer. Break two eggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit. Mix on the turner. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers, pry loose with a drewscriver. Sample the brandy again and check tonsisticity. Next sift two cups of salt or something. Who cares. Now sift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one tablespoon os fugar, or whatever you can find. Grease the oven. Confirm the brandy hasn’t deteriorated. Turn the cake tin to 350 degrees. Don’t forget to beat off the turner. Throw the bowl out the window. Check the brandy again. Bo to ged. Who the Hell likes fruitcake anyway????

traci · 12-07-2004

Tut-tut Tappy,
You do NOT cut up a log!! You open the package and put the little pre-shaped thingys on the stone

THATS HOW YOU MAKE CHRISTMAS COOKIES!!
(now be sure not to share this recipe w/anyone, it's a secwet!) :p

TAPPY · 12-07-2004

Quote:

Originally Posted by tntsmith

Tut-tut Tappy,
You do NOT cut up a log!! You open the package and put the little pre-shaped thingys on the stone

THATS HOW YOU MAKE CHRISTMAS COOKIES!!
(now be sure not to share this recipe w/anyone, it's a secwet!) :p

I have done it that way too (what a great invention)

...but I thought the other way made me sound more "Martha Stewartish" :p (poor Martha wont be doing any baking this Christmas)

traci · 12-07-2004

Speaking of Martha, in a commercial for tonites news, they called her the "Domestic Felon". Nice

That's how I would like to be known

Nerak936 · 12-07-2004

Christmas Cookies by Karen:

1. Dig out nice, large antique plate left to me by Mom.
2. Place pretty cut-out paper doily in center of plate.
3. Open plastic container from Stop & Shop full of nicely decorated Christmas cookies.
4. Gently place cookies one by one on plate, being careful to arrange in a pretty pattern.
5. Leave on countertop while fetching bottle of wine from wine rack in living room.
6. Blow lightly on cookies on top to dry off cat spit left by Eli and Tiggy while they were licking the red and green sparkles off the cookies.
7. Place on coffe table next to Reduced Fat Wheat Thins which are decorated with Squeeze Cheese initials of your guests who are arriving soon.

Voila!!

mckinzie · 12-07-2004

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nerak936

Christmas Cookies by Karen:

1. Dig out nice, large antique plate left to me by Mom.
2. Place pretty cut-out paper doily in center of plate.
3. Open plastic container from Stop & Shop full of nicely decorated Christmas cookies.
4. Gently place cookies one by one on plate, being careful to arrange in a pretty pattern.
5. Leave on countertop while fetching bottle of wine from wine rack in living room.
6. Blow lightly on cookies on top to dry off cat spit left by Eli and Tiggy while they were licking the red and green sparkles off the cookies.
7. Place on coffe table next to Reduced Fat Wheat Thins which are decorated with Squeeze Cheese initials of your guests who are arriving soon.

Voila!!

mellory · 12-07-2004

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nerak936

Christmas Cookies by Karen:

1. Dig out nice, large antique plate left to me by Mom.
2. Place pretty cut-out paper doily in center of plate.
3. Open plastic container from Stop & Shop full of nicely decorated Christmas cookies.
4. Gently place cookies one by one on plate, being careful to arrange in a pretty pattern.
5. Leave on countertop while fetching bottle of wine from wine rack in living room.
6. Blow lightly on cookies on top to dry off cat spit left by Eli and Tiggy while they were licking the red and green sparkles off the cookies.
7. Place on coffe table next to Reduced Fat Wheat Thins which are decorated with Squeeze Cheese initials of your guests who are arriving soon.

Voila!!

What time should I stop by? My initials are M.E.

**Bumper** · 12-07-2004

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nerak936

Christmas Cookies by Karen:

1. Dig out nice, large antique plate left to me by Mom.
2. Place pretty cut-out paper doily in center of plate.
3. Open plastic container from Stop & Shop full of nicely decorated Christmas cookies.
4. Gently place cookies one by one on plate, being careful to arrange in a pretty pattern.
5. Leave on countertop while fetching bottle of wine from wine rack in living room.
6. Blow lightly on cookies on top to dry off cat spit left by Eli and Tiggy while they were licking the red and green sparkles off the cookies.
7. Place on coffe table next to Reduced Fat Wheat Thins which are decorated with Squeeze Cheese initials of your guests who are arriving soon.

Voila!!

Boy, Karen, you really know how to live. That knock at the door...could it be Robin Leach, here to interview you? Drying off cat spit is one thing, but have you ever had to trowel feline paw prints off of a butter dish? Ahem...I speak from personal experience.

Nerak936 · 12-08-2004

Quote:

Originally Posted by mellory

What time should I stop by? My initials are M.E.

Do you prefer script- or block-style lettering, mellory??

Nerak936 · 12-08-2004

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bumper

Boy, Karen, you really know how to live. That knock at the door...could it be Robin Leach, here to interview you? Drying off cat spit is one thing, but have you ever had to trowel feline paw prints off of a butter dish? Ahem...I speak from personal experience.

They only did that so they could leave better marks on your car's windshield and hood, Bumper. Rocky and Baylee are VERY creative kitties, eh??!

mellory · 12-08-2004

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nerak936

Do you prefer script- or block-style lettering, mellory??

Block letters. It would take more cheese to make them.

12-07-2004	#1 (permalink)
geraldh way into it Join Date: May 2004 Posts: 190	Recipe for Christmas cookies I tried to put this in the Forum Fun Features but wasn't able to so I'll post it here. Don't know if this has been posted in the past but thought it might make for some enjoyable reading. Christmas Cookie Recipe 1 cup of water 1 tsp baking soda 1 cup of sugar 1 tsp salt 1 cup of brown sugar 2 tsp lemon juice 4 large eggs 1 cup nuts 2 cups of dried fruit 1 bottle Jose Cuervo Tequila Sample the Cuervo to check quality. Take a large bowl, check the Cuervo again, to be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink. Turn on the electric mixer... Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add one teaspoon of sugar... Beat again. At this point it's best to make sure the Cuervo is still OK, try another cup ... just in case. Turn off the mixerer thingy. Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit, Pick the frigging fruit off floor... Mix on the turner. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers just pry it loose with a drewscriver. Sample the Cuervo to check for tonsisticity. Next, sift two cups of salt, or something. Who giveshz a sheet. Check the Jose Cuervo. Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one table. Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink. Whatever you can find. Greash the oven. Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over. Don't forget to beat off the turner. Finally, throw the bowl through the window, finish the Cose Juervo and make sure to put the stove in the dishwasher. CHERRY MISTMAS

12-07-2004	#7 (permalink)
traci añejo Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Spring Texas Posts: 2,449	True! Speaking of Martha, in a commercial for tonites news, they called her the "Domestic Felon". Nice That's how I would like to be known

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12-07-2004	#2 (permalink)
Seakony añejo Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: no longer in Mesquite with nothing to do Posts: 10,147	Now I wish I had that recipe yesterday. I spent all day making Italian Fig cookies.... and it is an all day job. The Jose Cuervo would have been a blessing.

12-07-2004	#3 (permalink)
TAPPY añejo Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Louisiana Posts: 14,940	I always thought you made Christmas cookies by cutting up a large log of cookie dough......slice and bake !!!!

12-07-2004	#4 (permalink)
Bumper Class Clown Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Winnipeg, Canada Posts: 9,513	Well, if we're going to swap recipes, I offer the following. Very similar in nature, but produces a different end product...or maybe not. CHRISTMAS FRUITCAKE RECIPE 1 Cup Water 1 Cup Sugar 4 Large Eggs 2 Cups Dried Fruit 1 Teaspoon Salt 1 Teaspoon Baking Soda 1 Cup Brown Sugar Lemon Juice Nuts 1 Bottle Brandy Sample the brandy to check for quality. Take a large bowl. Check the brandy again to be sure it is of the highest quality. Pour one level cup and drink. Repeat. Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add a teaspoon of sugar and beat again. Make sure the brandy is still okay. Cry another tup. Turn off mixer. Break two eggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit. Mix on the turner. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers, pry loose with a drewscriver. Sample the brandy again and check tonsisticity. Next sift two cups of salt or something. Who cares. Now sift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one tablespoon os fugar, or whatever you can find. Grease the oven. Confirm the brandy hasn’t deteriorated. Turn the cake tin to 350 degrees. Don’t forget to beat off the turner. Throw the bowl out the window. Check the brandy again. Bo to ged. Who the Hell likes fruitcake anyway????

12-07-2004	#5 (permalink)
traci añejo Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Spring Texas Posts: 2,449	Tut-tut Tappy, You do NOT cut up a log!! You open the package and put the little pre-shaped thingys on the stone THATS HOW YOU MAKE CHRISTMAS COOKIES!! (now be sure not to share this recipe w/anyone, it's a secwet!) :p

12-07-2004	#8 (permalink)
Nerak936 =^. " .^= Join Date: Apr 2004 Posts: 18,505	Christmas Cookies by Karen: 1. Dig out nice, large antique plate left to me by Mom. 2. Place pretty cut-out paper doily in center of plate. 3. Open plastic container from Stop & Shop full of nicely decorated Christmas cookies. 4. Gently place cookies one by one on plate, being careful to arrange in a pretty pattern. 5. Leave on countertop while fetching bottle of wine from wine rack in living room. 6. Blow lightly on cookies on top to dry off cat spit left by Eli and Tiggy while they were licking the red and green sparkles off the cookies. 7. Place on coffe table next to Reduced Fat Wheat Thins which are decorated with Squeeze Cheese initials of your guests who are arriving soon. Voila!!

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