12-16-2004
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#16 (permalink) |
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life=playa
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: O Canada - glorious and free!
Posts: 647
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Happy Birthday to ME!!
You guys are SOOOOOO awesome! I even got an automated BD wish from the forum!!
Trya : I wonder how many gifts of Geritol you have solicited for me?  Rissask: Three words: Oil of Olay!  Big Kahuna: In Canada at least, this night will be filled with Lotsa. Hell, in Mexico I'd do the same! Tequila makes me kinda squirelly  Tex: Gee, do I know(remember) you? DeniseA: Techno Queen! Now, can you get some flashing Christmas LIghts going around my avatar? :p Seakony: THIS hangover's for YOU!!!  Nerak Awww... thanks! Now, maybe you know how to teach a cat to meow "Happy Birthday"???  McKinzie: DITTO  Starfish: See Rissask comment above!!  Becky Soon to be toasting!!! Thanks!  SCTX: One thing is for certain, (although hard to believe) she is DEF. older than me!! (prize to whomever can find out just HOW many candles need to be purchased)!!! THank you all of you Birthday Wishers! I shall now have a nap to clear out the effects of mid afternoon drunkeness, before the evening events begin!! |
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12-16-2004
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#18 (permalink) |
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Class Clown
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Winnipeg, Canada
Posts: 9,696
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72, eh Squish? I LOVE older women. They don't tell, they don't swell, and they're grateful as Hell. I rather suspect you can relate to the following from the archives...
Have you ever noticed.... That when you’re of a certain age, everything seems uphill from where you are? Stairs are steeper. Groceries are heavier. And, everything is farther away. Yesterday I walked to the corner and I was dumbfounded to discover how long our street has become! And, you know, people are less considerate now, especially the young ones. They speak in whispers all the time. If you ask them to speak up they just keep repeating themselves, endlessly mouthing the same silent message until they’re red in the face. What do they think I am, a lip reader? I also think they are much younger than I was at the same age. On the other hand, people my own age are so much older than I am. I ran into an old friend the other day and she had aged so much that she didn’t even recognize me. I got to thinking about the poor dear while I was combing my hair this morning, and in doing so, I glanced at my own reflection.... Well, REALLY NOW....even mirrors aren’t made the way they used to be! Another thing, everybody drives so fast today! You’re risking life and limb if you just happen to pull onto the freeway in front of them. All I can say is, their brakes must wear out awfully fast, the way I see them screech and swerve in my rear view mirror. And clothing manufacturers are less civilized these days. Why would they suddenly start labelling a size 10 or 12 dress as 18 or 20? Do they think no one notices these things no longer fit around the waist, hips, thighs, and bosom? The people who make bathroom scales are pulling the same sort of prank, but in reverse. Do they think I would actually believe the number I see on that dial? HA!! I would never let myself weigh that much! Just who do these people think they’re fooling? I’d like to call up someone in authority to report what’s going on - but the telephone company is in on the conspiracy too: they’ve printed the phone books in such small print that no one could ever find a number in here! All I can do is pass along this warning: Maturity is under attack! Unless something drastic happens, pretty soon everyone will have to suffer these awful indignities. PLEASE PASS THIS WARNING ON TO EVERYONE YOU KNOW AS SOON AS POSSIBLE SO WE CAN GET THIS CONSPIRACY STOPPED! PS: I’m printing this in a larger font size, because something has caused fonts to be smaller than they used to be too! Happy Birthday, Squish, M'Love, from both of us. 
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 Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a pristine, well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally used up and worn out, shouting "Holy Shit...what a ride!!" Last edited by Bumper; 12-16-2004 at 04:32 PM. |
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12-16-2004
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#22 (permalink) | |
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añejo
 Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: The City of Presidents
Posts: 16,003
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Quote:
What's that old joke about how much had to happen and in so many varied ways in order to get the cat into the water... And then punchline was.....?? "Anyone...? Anyone"...?? ("Bueller...? Bueller...?") |
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12-16-2004
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#24 (permalink) | |
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añejo
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: The City of Presidents
Posts: 16,003
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Quote:
Oh, I have it now... NOT so much "punchline" as a "And the moral of the story is..." kinduv thing... |
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12-16-2004
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#25 (permalink) | |
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character encapsulator
 Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Texas
Posts: 26,816
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Quote:
(oooops... is this off-topic? Sorry Squish--Happy Birthday, again!) |
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12-16-2004
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#26 (permalink) | ||
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añejo
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: The City of Presidents
Posts: 16,003
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Quote:
I thought you were talking about fly as in "zipper" - Levi's.. THAT is IT! Care to post your answer in long-form prose? Quote:
well sometimes hardly...nearly rarely, mostly. I guess. Last edited by cuffedlinks; 12-16-2004 at 11:58 PM. |
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12-16-2004
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#27 (permalink) | |
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character encapsulator
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Texas
Posts: 26,816
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Quote:
 I will leave that to you, Mr Naughty Forum Member! :p |
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12-17-2004
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#29 (permalink) | |
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añejo
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: The City of Presidents
Posts: 16,003
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Quote:
So, here goes... (Sheesh I can't believe I'm posting this thing...) Okay...here goes... (Can you tell I'm stalling...? - Not GENE Stallings, because then I'd be the Former Alabama and St. Louis Football Cardinals coach...) Okay... The Moral of the Story... <O:p</O:p One day, in a peaceful forest, a fly buzzed over a stream. <O:p</O:p In the stream, a salmon was swimming, and it looked up and saw the fly. It thought to itself, "If that fly would drop down about a half an inch, I'd be able to jump up, catch it, and I'd have myself something to eat." <O:p</O:p Alongside the stream, a bear was standing. The bear looked at the fly, and thought to itself, "If that fly would drop down about a half an inch, that salmon would jump up to catch it, and I could jump out, snag that salmon, and I'd have myself something to eat." <O:p</O:p Across the stream, up a steep slope, a hunter was hidden in the brush. The hunter looked at the fly, and thought to himself, "If that fly would drop down about a half an inch, that salmon would jump up to catch it, the bear would jump up to catch the salmon, and I could jump up, shoot the bear, and I'd have myself a new trophy." <O:p</O:p Hidden in the grass behind the hunter was a mouse. The mouse looked at the fly, and thought to itself, "If that fly would drop down about a half an inch, the salmon would jump up to catch it, the bear would jump up to catch the salmon, the hunter would jump up to shoot the bear, the sandwich in the hunter's pocket would fall out, and I'd have myself something to eat." <O:p</O:p A bit higher up the slope, on a jutting rock, sat a pussy cat. The pussy cat looked down at the fly, and thought to itself, "If that fly would drop down about a half an inch, the salmon would jump up to catch it, the bear would jump up to catch the salmon, the hunter would jump up to shoot the bear, the sandwich in the hunter's pocket would fall out, the mouse would hop over to get the sandwich, I could leap down on it, and I'd have myself something to eat." <O:p</O:p At that moment, the fly dropped down about a half an inch. The salmon leapt up and caught the fly, the bear leapt out and snagged the salmon, the hunter jumped up and shot the bear, the mouse hopped out and started to eat the hunter's sandwich, and the pussy cat leapt down to catch the mouse...but it missed. It rolled down the slope, and fell into the stream.<O:p</O:p Moral of the Story: A lot of things have to happen for a pussy to get wet. HAPPY BIRTHDAY SQUISH! (BACK on Topic...)
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CLICK HERE - For Our Mexico Photos !! July 2007 Luna Blue - (Recently Added) * Dec. 2006 Luna Blue - (Recently Added) * Jan. 2006 Luna Blue * April 2005 La Tortuga Dec. 2004 Palladium Grand * Aug. 2004 El Dorado Royale * Dec. 2003 Riu Palace Mexico ~Metaphors be with you. Last edited by cuffedlinks; 12-17-2004 at 12:06 AM. |
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