My Mother taught me........

[Jacko]

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3.. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back! of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all those peas are gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."

17.. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18 My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand"

25. And my favorite: - My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids and I hope they turn out just like you

[Seakony]

Wow... those bring back alot of memories!

[NorthMinnesota]

OMG! LOL! I'm laughing and crying as I read these! Many of these were repeated MANY times in my family of 6 girls! Makes me really miss my mom who passed away a few years ago. Thanks for allowing me a great moment of remembrance!

[birdman]

Too bad the modern moms haven't picked up on some of the old traditional stuff your momma taught you, the kids today could use a few more ass whoopins & a few less time outs.
Just one mans humble opinion.

[sctx]

I guess I was lucky, mom was a notch or two above June Cleaver... but dad taught me about Volume Control......."Shut the hell up, I haven't even started hittin you yet !!!"

[pmb]

Loved it ---- I can relate.

[SunDowner]

Those are just too funny. I think back now and say, "yep, I think I heard each one of these a time or two."

[SunKneeMarie]

Funny, funny... and it's amazing how often that last one comes true!

[TAPPY]

So true Jacko !!!!!!!

Love the new Avatar !!!!

[Jacko]

Originally Posted by TAPPY

So true Jacko !!!!!!!

Love the new Avatar !!!!

Re: The Avatar..that's just lil Buddy, our half tszhitzu/half jack russell bundle of joy!