Fidelity

Jacko · 03-02-2005

Recent discussions have focused on infidelity...I noticed that many Playa peeps have at least remained attached to their significant others for extended periods of time and appear to be bucking the trend in America..is it because of all of those PDC vacations together?...so...what are the Top Ten reasons to remain faithful to your significant other? How do you do it? Why do you do it? Could be a fun and enlightening discussion.

**sctx** · 03-02-2005

1. By accepting there is nothing better, only different

roni · 03-02-2005

My IRA is with Fidelity Investments

Staying with one partner long-term is not bucking the trend in America. There are multiple trends.

Longevity does not equal quality.

Ron

Jacko · 03-02-2005

Quote:

Originally Posted by sctx

1. By accepting there is nothing better, only different

Right on!

Jacko · 03-02-2005

Quote:

Originally Posted by roni

My IRA is with Fidelity Investments

Staying with one partner long-term is not bucking the trend in America. There are multiple trends.

Longevity does not equal quality.

Ron

Ron, I just thought that a 50% divorce rate for first timers and something like 70% for second timers was a trend? I certainly agree that longevity does not necessarily equal quality! But this is focused on the negative again...certainly there are postive things worth discussing in long term relationships without saying anything bad about those folks who have made a switch for good reasons?

PantherCTE · 03-02-2005

I got VERRRRRRRY lucky my first time. Why even think to chance it?

Ginger · 03-02-2005

Quote:

Originally Posted by PantherCTE

I got VERRRRRRRY lucky my first time. Why even think to chance it?

This could be true. John and I were best friends long before we were...*ahem*.."romantically involved".

Perhaps this helps in the longevity. We still are best friends. We tell each other EVERYTHING. He tells me all the stuff his friends think "stays between the boys" heh heh. (he knows I'll never mention it! ) We don't keep anything from each other, even when I WANT to (like that damned speeding ticket I just got! Didn't WANT to tell, but it leaked out at dinner! :p and I got a lecture.)

**sctx** · 03-02-2005

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ginger

We don't keep anything from each other, even when I WANT to (like that damned speeding ticket I just got! Didn't WANT to tell, but it leaked out at dinner! :p and I got a lecture.)

kinda like a lost camera huh?????? :p

NorthMinnesota · 03-02-2005

Hubby and I have been friends since we were 12 years old, started dating at 15, married at 23. We have been in each others life for 35 years!

Sharing similar values, a sense of humor, strong faith and a great desire to be honest and helpful to each other has served us well. We enjoy each other but also have our own interests. Raising our daughters to be strong, healthy, caring and compassionate is our top priority. Love, friendship, and humor keeps us going strong!

birdman · 03-02-2005

Anyone can get divorced, it takes patience,love,understanding, a good sence of humor, & the willingness to allow your spouse to be your best friend.
We've been married for 35 years & the topper is, we work together every day.

Ginger · 03-02-2005

Quote:

Originally Posted by sctx

kinda like a lost camera huh?????? :p

Yes! Geesh, I'm SOOO irresponsible!

When will I EVER grow up??

**SunKneeMarie** · 03-02-2005

Being best friends will probably be a common denominator among a lot of these long term relationships, because I think that brings in the element of "like" as well as "love." Isn't that a movie scene somewhere?

"Do you love her?"

"Of course I do."

"Yeeeah, but do you LIKE her?"

And not nitpicking. Let the other person BE. My marriage has been made infinitely happier by adhering to the credo, "There's more than one way to do anything." (aka "My way is NOT the only way."... well except for laundry, but let's not ruin this little moment)

Plus, nobody looks at me the same way my husband does. You know... that look... sigh....

Ginger · 03-02-2005

Quote:

Originally Posted by SunKneeMarie

My marriage has been made infinitely happier by adhering to the credo, "There's more than one way to do anything." (aka "My way is NOT the only way."... well except for laundry, but let's not ruin this little moment)

Reminds me of a story, SKM....when we had our first, my daughter, John was burping her and trying to settle her down. He looked so flimsy and wierd the way he was doing it and I tried to jump in and show him how to do it "MY" way...he quickly corrected me with a "Daddies do things differently, and babies don't mind!" Ha! We laughed over that one. I had to remember that on many ocassions when I wanted to jump in.

Critter · 03-02-2005

Chris and I knew each other for about 2 months before we started dating. We dated for 4 months, got engaged she went to England and I went to the states. 5 months later we got married, 3 weeks later I deployed. Out of our first 10 years I was gone (out at sea) several times a year for 4 of those years. Last Decemeber we celebrated our 31st anniverssary. A good working relationship is just that work. Both of you have to want for it to work and be willing to make it work.

Other than that heavy stuff I just have two simple rules:

1. Never go to sleep mad (always talk it out before either of you goes to bed.

2. (this is the most important) always go to bed nakid!

roxie'sbadboy · 03-02-2005

Second time for me, first for Roxie. I think its more complicated than anyone can get a divorce, trying to make a relationship work that isn't going to work for whatever reason can be unhealthy both mentally and physically. I look back now and I know I made the right choice, it was difficult to go through for sure. But there was no other way. My kids tell me now that even though at the time they didn't like the divorce, they feel that Roxie and I are a much better fit for each other. Roxie and I met a couple of years after my divorce. I feel the sameway about my parents.

Fidelity is also complicated, human behavior is complicated and influenced by infinite number of factors. Nothing is black and white, most things varying shades of gray.

Roxie and her supper club (ie the wives once a month get together to drink to much wine club) disccused the topic of would you tell someone that you saw their spouse with another person. Of course the response was yes they would. I said I wouldn't for several reasons, first off it's none of my business, even if it is a close friend. Two, things may not always be as they appear. Would you be suspicious if they were the same sex? How do you know the person isn't in the closet? How do you know that even your closest friends are not into alternative lifestyles? Lastly I put if it were you being the guilty party, would you want someone else telling me or would you want to do that yourself?

03-02-2005	#1 (permalink)
Jacko añejo Join Date: Dec 2004 Posts: 17,972	Fidelity Recent discussions have focused on infidelity...I noticed that many Playa peeps have at least remained attached to their significant others for extended periods of time and appear to be bucking the trend in America..is it because of all of those PDC vacations together?...so...what are the Top Ten reasons to remain faithful to your significant other? How do you do it? Why do you do it? Could be a fun and enlightening discussion. Last edited by Jacko : 03-02-2005 at 07:33 AM.

03-02-2005	#15 (permalink)
roxie'sbadboy way into it Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Houston Posts: 149	Second time for me, first for Roxie. I think its more complicated than anyone can get a divorce, trying to make a relationship work that isn't going to work for whatever reason can be unhealthy both mentally and physically. I look back now and I know I made the right choice, it was difficult to go through for sure. But there was no other way. My kids tell me now that even though at the time they didn't like the divorce, they feel that Roxie and I are a much better fit for each other. Roxie and I met a couple of years after my divorce. I feel the sameway about my parents. Fidelity is also complicated, human behavior is complicated and influenced by infinite number of factors. Nothing is black and white, most things varying shades of gray. Roxie and her supper club (ie the wives once a month get together to drink to much wine club) disccused the topic of would you tell someone that you saw their spouse with another person. Of course the response was yes they would. I said I wouldn't for several reasons, first off it's none of my business, even if it is a close friend. Two, things may not always be as they appear. Would you be suspicious if they were the same sex? How do you know the person isn't in the closet? How do you know that even your closest friends are not into alternative lifestyles? Lastly I put if it were you being the guilty party, would you want someone else telling me or would you want to do that yourself? Last edited by roxie'sbadboy : 03-02-2005 at 06:25 PM.

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03-02-2005	#2 (permalink)
sctx political anarchist Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Body in San Marcos Tx....Tankah in my mind Posts: 27,153	1. By accepting there is nothing better, only different

03-02-2005	#3 (permalink)
roni Happy Curmudgeon Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Oregon Posts: 25,464	My IRA is with Fidelity Investments Staying with one partner long-term is not bucking the trend in America. There are multiple trends. Longevity does not equal quality. Ron

03-02-2005	#6 (permalink)
PantherCTE way into it Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: PantherLand, NC Posts: 244	I got VERRRRRRRY lucky my first time. Why even think to chance it?

03-02-2005	#9 (permalink)
NorthMinnesota añejo Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Minnesota Posts: 5,599	Hubby and I have been friends since we were 12 years old, started dating at 15, married at 23. We have been in each others life for 35 years! Sharing similar values, a sense of humor, strong faith and a great desire to be honest and helpful to each other has served us well. We enjoy each other but also have our own interests. Raising our daughters to be strong, healthy, caring and compassionate is our top priority. Love, friendship, and humor keeps us going strong!

03-02-2005	#10 (permalink)
birdman añejo Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: Wa state Posts: 1,578	Anyone can get divorced, it takes patience,love,understanding, a good sence of humor, & the willingness to allow your spouse to be your best friend. We've been married for 35 years & the topper is, we work together every day.

03-02-2005	#12 (permalink)
SunKneeMarie character encapsulator Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: Texas Posts: 26,323	Being best friends will probably be a common denominator among a lot of these long term relationships, because I think that brings in the element of "like" as well as "love." Isn't that a movie scene somewhere? "Do you love her?" "Of course I do." "Yeeeah, but do you LIKE her?" And not nitpicking. Let the other person BE. My marriage has been made infinitely happier by adhering to the credo, "There's more than one way to do anything." (aka "My way is NOT the only way."... well except for laundry, but let's not ruin this little moment) Plus, nobody looks at me the same way my husband does. You know... that look... sigh....

03-02-2005	#14 (permalink)
Critter añejo Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: Cerca de Washington DC Posts: 3,343	Chris and I knew each other for about 2 months before we started dating. We dated for 4 months, got engaged she went to England and I went to the states. 5 months later we got married, 3 weeks later I deployed. Out of our first 10 years I was gone (out at sea) several times a year for 4 of those years. Last Decemeber we celebrated our 31st anniverssary. A good working relationship is just that work. Both of you have to want for it to work and be willing to make it work. Other than that heavy stuff I just have two simple rules: 1. Never go to sleep mad (always talk it out before either of you goes to bed. 2. (this is the most important) always go to bed nakid!

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