Euro English

**Bumper** · 03-26-2005

Maybe Andrea (Andiline) would care to comment on how likely this scenario is to take place?

The European Joint Commission has just ratified an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union, rather than German, which was the other possibility being considered.

As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty’s government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement, and has accepted a five year phased-in plan for the new language, which will be known as Euro-English.

This is how the plan is structured.

YEAR 1
“s” will replace the soft “c”. This will sertainly make sivil servants jump for joy. Use of the hard “c” will be dropped in favour of the “k”. This will help klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less key/letter.

YEAR 2
There will be growing publik enthusiasm this year when the troublesome “ph” will be replaced by “f”, which will make words like FOTOGRAF 20% shorter.

YEAR 3
Publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of the double letters which have always been a deterent to akurate speling. Also, we al agre that the horible mes of the silent “e” in the language is disgrasful and they should be removed.

YEAR 4
Peopl wil be reseptiv to such steps as replasing “th” with “z” and “w” with “v”.

YEAR 5
During ze fifz year ze unesary “o” kan be droped from vords kontaining “ou” and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters. After ziz fifz yer V vil hav a reli sensible riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi to understand ech ozer. ZE DREM VIL FINALI KOM TRU!

Thor Henning · 03-28-2005

What a joke!
:p

03-26-2005	#1 (permalink)
Bumper Class Clown Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Winnipeg, Canada Posts: 9,690	Euro English Maybe Andrea (Andiline) would care to comment on how likely this scenario is to take place? The European Joint Commission has just ratified an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union, rather than German, which was the other possibility being considered. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty’s government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement, and has accepted a five year phased-in plan for the new language, which will be known as Euro-English. This is how the plan is structured. YEAR 1 “s” will replace the soft “c”. This will sertainly make sivil servants jump for joy. Use of the hard “c” will be dropped in favour of the “k”. This will help klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less key/letter. YEAR 2 There will be growing publik enthusiasm this year when the troublesome “ph” will be replaced by “f”, which will make words like FOTOGRAF 20% shorter. YEAR 3 Publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of the double letters which have always been a deterent to akurate speling. Also, we al agre that the horible mes of the silent “e” in the language is disgrasful and they should be removed. YEAR 4 Peopl wil be reseptiv to such steps as replasing “th” with “z” and “w” with “v”. YEAR 5 During ze fifz year ze unesary “o” kan be droped from vords kontaining “ou” and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters. After ziz fifz yer V vil hav a reli sensible riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi to understand ech ozer. ZE DREM VIL FINALI KOM TRU!

03-28-2005	#2 (permalink)
Thor Henning añejo Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: Drammen, Norway Posts: 3,338	What a joke! :p

register to remove these adverts