Creating Bureaucracy, Policy, and Procedures

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Apparently, this really works. Scary, eh?


How To Create Bureaucracy, Policy, and Procedures

1. Start with a cage containing five chimpanzees. In this cage, suspend a banana on a string and put a set of stairs under it. Before long, a chimpanzee will approach the stairs and start to climb towards the banana.

2. As soon as the chimpanzee touches the stairs, spray all of the apes with cold water. After a while, another chimpanzee will make an attempt with the same result - all the chimps are sprayed with cold water.

3. Turn off the cold water. If, later, another chimpanzee tries to climb the stairs, the other chimps will try to prevent it from doing so, even though no water sprays them.

4. Now, remove one chimp from the cage and replace it with a new one. The new ape sees the banana and wants to climb the stairs. To his horror, all of the other chimps attack him. After another attempt, and resulting attack, he knows that if he tries to climb the stairs, he will be assaulted.

5. Next, remove another of the original five apes and replace it with a new one. The newcomer approaches the stairs and is attacked. The previous newcomer takes part in the punishment enthusiastically.

6. Again, replace a third original chimpanzee with a new one. The new one makes it to the stairs and is attacked as well. Two of the four apes that batter him have no idea why they are not permitted to climb the stairs, or why they are participating in the assault on the newest chimp.

7. After replacing the fourth and fifth original chimpanzees, all the apes that have been sprayed with cold water have been substituted. Nevertheless, no chimpanzee ever again approaches the stairs, despite the allure of the fruit. Why not? “BECAUSE, that’s the way it’s always been done around here.”