Having A Bad Day?

**Bumper** · 05-11-2005

You Know You’re Having A Bad Day When....

• Your accountant’s letter of resignation is postmarked Panama.
• You have to hitchhike to the bank to make your car payment.
• The Little League puts you on waivers.
• Your suggestion box starts ticking.
• Your secretary tells you the Internal Revenue Service is on line one, the Attorney General is on line two, and 60 Minutes is on line three.
• You see your stock broker hitchhiking out of town.
• You see the cruise ship captain heading for the railing with a life jacket on.
• They pay your salary out of petty cash.
• You make more than you’ve ever made, owe more than you’ve ever owed, and have less than you’ve ever had.
• Getting there is half the fun, and three quarters of the travel budget.
• The “simple instructions enclosed” aren’t.
• A black cat crosses your path and drops dead.
• You take an assertiveness training course and are afraid to tell your wife.
• You see your wife and your girlfriend having lunch together.
• Your pacemaker only has a thirty day warranty.
• The candles on your birthday cake set off the smoke alarm.
• The pest exterminator crawls under your house and is never seen again.
• Your horn button sticks on the freeway behind 32 Hell’s Angels.
• You’ve been at work 3 hours before realizing your fly is open or your blouse unbuttoned.
• Your twin sister forgets your birthday.
• You call the suicide prevention hotline and they put you on hold.
• You have to sit down to brush your teeth in the morning.
• Your income tax refund cheque bounces.
• It costs more to fill your car with gas than it did to buy it.
• Everybody avoids you the morning after the office Christmas party.
• The only birds in the tree outside your window are vultures.
• You wake up and your braces are stuck together.
• Your blind date turns out to be your ex-husband/wife.
• You put both contacts into the same eye.
• Your mother approves of the person you’re dating.
• You get a cash advance on your Visa to pay your Mastercard.
• Nothing you own is actually paid for.
• Everyone loves your Driver’s License picture.
• The Department of Health condemns your office coffee maker.
• You invite the Peeping Tom in...and he declines.
• The Gypsy fortune teller reads your palm and offers you a refund.
• You call your spouse to tell them you’d like to eat out that night, and when you get home there’s a peanut butter sandwich on the front porch.
• You start to put on the clothes you wore home from the party last night, and there aren’t any.

Beachnutt719 · 05-11-2005

Sounds like my average day!

Rainman · 05-12-2005

As always Bumper good post made me laugh and that good because most my days involve one of the above , and I could add many more to that list . Because Im the official forum worst speller. Was check miss spelled ?

(• Your income tax refund cheque bounces.)

Seeking spelling leasons (No Hope)

Rainman

**Bumper** · 05-12-2005

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rainman

As always Bumper good post made me laugh and that good because most my days involve one of the above , and I could add many more to that list . Because Im the official forum worst speller. Was check miss spelled ?

(• Your income tax refund cheque bounces.)

Seeking spelling leasons (No Hope)

Rainman

Nope, Rain. I plead guilty to being a product of the pretty decent Canadian education system. "Cheque" is Canajun for the Marcun "check." Y'know, like "colour/color, honour/honor, neighbour/naybur, chesterfield/couch"

Rainman · 05-12-2005

Bump thank you for the Canadian language leason . Its Greek to me .

Seeking Spainish leasons (Its Greek to me)

Rainman

**Bumper** · 05-13-2005

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rainman

Bump thank you for the Canadian language leason . Its Greek to me .

Seeking Spainish leasons (Its Greek to me)
Rainman

Nope...that would be Donna...but that's another story altogether.

05-11-2005	#1 (permalink)
Bumper Class Clown Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Winnipeg, Canada Posts: 10,073	Having A Bad Day? You Know You’re Having A Bad Day When.... • Your accountant’s letter of resignation is postmarked Panama. • You have to hitchhike to the bank to make your car payment. • The Little League puts you on waivers. • Your suggestion box starts ticking. • Your secretary tells you the Internal Revenue Service is on line one, the Attorney General is on line two, and 60 Minutes is on line three. • You see your stock broker hitchhiking out of town. • You see the cruise ship captain heading for the railing with a life jacket on. • They pay your salary out of petty cash. • You make more than you’ve ever made, owe more than you’ve ever owed, and have less than you’ve ever had. • Getting there is half the fun, and three quarters of the travel budget. • The “simple instructions enclosed” aren’t. • A black cat crosses your path and drops dead. • You take an assertiveness training course and are afraid to tell your wife. • You see your wife and your girlfriend having lunch together. • Your pacemaker only has a thirty day warranty. • The candles on your birthday cake set off the smoke alarm. • The pest exterminator crawls under your house and is never seen again. • Your horn button sticks on the freeway behind 32 Hell’s Angels. • You’ve been at work 3 hours before realizing your fly is open or your blouse unbuttoned. • Your twin sister forgets your birthday. • You call the suicide prevention hotline and they put you on hold. • You have to sit down to brush your teeth in the morning. • Your income tax refund cheque bounces. • It costs more to fill your car with gas than it did to buy it. • Everybody avoids you the morning after the office Christmas party. • The only birds in the tree outside your window are vultures. • You wake up and your braces are stuck together. • Your blind date turns out to be your ex-husband/wife. • You put both contacts into the same eye. • Your mother approves of the person you’re dating. • You get a cash advance on your Visa to pay your Mastercard. • Nothing you own is actually paid for. • Everyone loves your Driver’s License picture. • The Department of Health condemns your office coffee maker. • You invite the Peeping Tom in...and he declines. • The Gypsy fortune teller reads your palm and offers you a refund. • You call your spouse to tell them you’d like to eat out that night, and when you get home there’s a peanut butter sandwich on the front porch. • You start to put on the clothes you wore home from the party last night, and there aren’t any. __________________ Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a pristine, well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally used up and worn out, shouting "Holy Shit...what a ride!!"

05-11-2005	#2 (permalink)
Beachnutt719 añejo Join Date: May 2004 Location: Upstate New York Posts: 3,972	Sounds like my average day!

05-12-2005	#3 (permalink)
Rainman life=playa Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Cincinnati;OH Posts: 538	As always Bumper good post made me laugh and that good because most my days involve one of the above , and I could add many more to that list . Because Im the official forum worst speller. Was check miss spelled ? (• Your income tax refund cheque bounces.) Seeking spelling leasons (No Hope) Rainman

05-12-2005	#5 (permalink)
Rainman life=playa Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Cincinnati;OH Posts: 538	Bump thank you for the Canadian language leason . Its Greek to me . Seeking Spainish leasons (Its Greek to me) Rainman

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