Tequila Intellectually Speaking...

**denisea** · 05-12-2005

For my dear amigo Sctx and all you other tequila lovers out there, here are some famous and not so famous quotes I've collected about our favorite beverage. Anyone have any others to add to the collection? Which one(s) are your favorite? And why? #16 pretty much says it perfectly for me... but then again I've always been a fan of Tom *******.

"Dennis Hutch had stepped up into the top seat when its founder had died of a lethal overdose of brick wall, taken while under the influence of a Ferrari and a bottle of tequila." ~ Douglas Adams, The Long Dark Tea-Time Of The Soul
"An ounce of breast milk is even more potent then the finest tequila." ~ Tori Amos
"When life hands you lemons - break out the tequila and salt." ~ Anonymous
"You know you're a drunkard when... You like tequila with a lime, or dirt, or a hamster or whatever, so long as there's tequila involved." ~ Anonymous
"Any man or woman bellied up to a bar with a few shots of tequila swimming around in their bloodstream can tell a story. The challenge is to wake up the next day and carve through the minefield of the hangover and a million other excuses and be able to cohesively get it on paper." ~ Jimmy Buffett
"Never do tequila shooters within 2 miles of a wedding chapel." ~ Al Bundy
"It was boys who turned into men, beer that turned into tequila, and pot into speed ... and then they all turned on me." ~ Brett Butler
"One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor." ~ George Carlin
"Think of tequila as the Paris Hilton of the liquor world." ~ Mark Ellwood, New York Times
"And, guys have this thing with librarians: 'I really like frumpy librarians with glasses who, after a couple of tequila shots, take their hair out of the bun and get crazy.' " ~ Sonya Jury
"It is a drink that if it does not make you drunk promotes meditation, not always of a cheerful nature." ~ Malcolm Lowry, Under the Volcano
"There's a reason 'Wheel of Fortune' is on right after 'Jeopardy': Once you've been forced to choke down the foul tasting tequila shot of your own abject ignorance, it's always nice to be able to bite into the refreshing lime wedge of other people's incredible f***ing stupidity." ~ Dennis Miller
"Time disappears with Tequila. It goes elastic, then vanishes." ~ Kylie Minogue
"Beer makes you mellow, champagne makes you silly, wine makes you dramatic, tequila makes you felonious." ~ Modern Drunkard Magazine
"A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any other invention in human history, with the possible exception of handguns and tequila." ~ Mitch Ratliffe, Technology Review, April 1992
"Now, tequila may be the favored beverage of outlaws, but that doesn't mean it gives them preferential treatment. In fact, tequila probably had betrayed as many outlaws as has the central nervous system and dissatisfied wives. Tequila, scorpian honey, harsh dew of the doglands, essence of Aztec, crema de cacti; tequila, oily and thermal like the sun in solution; tequila, liquid geometry of passion; Tequila, the buzzard god who copulates in midair with the ascending souls of dying virgins; tequila, firebug in the house of good taste; O tequila, savage water of sorcery, what confusion and mischief your sly, rebellious drops do generate!" ~ Tom *******, Still Life with Woodpecker
"Margarita mix, upchucked with about 40 ounces of Corcovado Gold tequila which, as it turns out she and her friends rapidly consumed in the woods while trying to reenact the Blair Witch Project." ~ Scully, The X-Files
"Well, I'd like to aplogize for that. I was giving mouth to mouth resuscitation to a bottle of tequila. And, we lost her too." ~ Sonny Steele, The Electric Horseman (1979)
"We had two bags of grass, seventy-five pellets of mescaline, five sheets of high powered blotter acid, a salt shaker half full of cocaine, a whole galaxy of multi-colored uppers, downers, screamers, laughers... Also a quart of tequila, a quart of rum, a case of beer, a pint of raw ether and two dozen amyls." ~ Hunter S Thompson, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas
"Look. He wouldn't even talk to me unless I had a drink with him. And then, it took three shots of something called "tequila" just to find out that HE was the one we're looking for! And I've spent the last twenty minutes trying to keep his hands off me! So don't go criticizing my counseling techniques!" ~ Troi, Star Trek First Contact
"I'm gonna get me a bottle of tequila and find me a woman can suck the chrome off a bumper hitch." ~ Wendall, The Electric Horseman (1979)

cuffedlinks · 05-12-2005

#21 sounds like a worthwhile endeavor....Heck, sounds more like a "life-quest" really....intellectually speaking of course...

...and I just saw that movie (or parts of it anyway) in PdC of all places. But I can't recall that I heard that line...and I would have remembered such a line.....I'm pretty sure.

**denisea** · 05-12-2005

Quote:

Originally Posted by cuffedlinks

#21 sounds like a worthwhile endeavor....Heck, sounds more like a "life-quest" really....intellectually speaking of course...

...and I just saw that movie (or parts of it anyway) in PdC of all places. But I can't recall that I heard that line...and I would have remembered such a line.....I'm pretty sure.

Yes, I suspect if we added a poll #21 would be the hands down favorite of the men on the forum.

TAPPY · 05-12-2005

I love it Denisa....thanks for the smiles on a Thursday !!!!!!

#6....good ole Al Bundy !!!!

Banzoomba · 05-12-2005

"An ounce of breast milk is even more potent then the finest tequila." ~ Tori Amos

which bar serves this potent beverage....and just how fresh from the tap is it :p

..................

**Bumper** · 05-12-2005

Quote:

Originally Posted by Banzoomba

"An ounce of breast milk is even more potent then the finest tequila." ~ Tori Amos

which bar serves this potent beverage....and just how fresh from the tap is it :p

..................

The packaging could well be this products most successful marketing feature, to say nothing of the delivery system. I can see it all now...the 24-Hour, Cross-Your-Heart, Playtex Family Pack. Reposado on one side, and Anejo on the other, with lime wedges tucked into the cleavage.

roni · 05-12-2005

Quote:

Originally Posted by denisea

Yes, I suspect if we added a poll #21 would be the hands down favorite of the men on the forum.

I think I'd prefer a woman who was a bit more......gentle.

**SunKneeMarie** · 05-12-2005

There's a Modern Drunkard Magazine??

roni · 05-12-2005

I really like Tom *******. What a writer. #16

**SunKneeMarie** · 05-12-2005

Quote:

Originally Posted by roni

I think I'd prefer a woman who was a bit more......gentle.

**Heather** · 05-12-2005

Quote:

Originally Posted by SunKneeMarie

There's a Modern Drunkard Magazine??

This is one of the funniest magazines I have ever read; based out of Denver. I used to catch copies of it in Chicago. Check out their website. One of my favorite articles in the past was "Dying under the radar" about how to hide the fact that you're completely hungover at work.

TAPPY · 05-12-2005

Quote:

Originally Posted by Heather

This is one of the funniest magazines I have ever read; based out of Denver. I used to catch copies of it in Chicago. Check out their website. One of my favorite articles in the past was "Dying under the radar" about how to hide the fact that you're completely hungover at work.

They have a great web site as well with a lot of good reading "material" on it. I looked for the "Dying under the radar" article but my lunch hour was almost up...so back to work !!!!

ReadyTRock · 05-12-2005

When I read #21, it didn't sound exactly right - I thought there was something about a keno runner. So, searching the web, I found these supposed quotes. Hhhmmm I wonder which version is correct?

"I'm gonna get me a bottle of tequila and find me a woman can suck the chrome off a bumper hitch."

"I'm gonna go out and find me a girl who can suck the chrome off a trailer hitch."

"I don't know about you but i'm gonna grab me a fifth of tequila one of those keeno girls that could suck the chrome off a trailer hitch and kinda kick back"

"I don't know about you, but I'm gonna get me a bottle of tequila, and one of those little keno girls that can suck the chrome off a trailer hitch, and kick back." (could or can? fifth or bottle?)

"I'm gonna get me a bottle of tequila and find me a woman can suck the chrome off a bumper hitch."

"I'm gona get me a bottle of taquila anda hootchie cootchie girl that can suck the chrome off a trailer hitch!"

"I'm gonna get me one of them keno girls that can suck the chrome off a trailer hitch"

Rissask · 05-12-2005

Quote:

"A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any other invention in human history, with the possible exception of handguns and tequila." ~ Mitch Ratliffe, Technology Review, April 1992

I like that one (naturally

).

TEX · 05-12-2005

I'm kinda fond of #12, but I've always been a fan of Dennis Miller. Even if he goes over my head sometimes with his "name-dropping"......

05-12-2005	#1 (permalink)
denisea Forum Goddess Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: On the road to ruins... Posts: 7,025	Tequila Intellectually Speaking... For my dear amigo Sctx and all you other tequila lovers out there, here are some famous and not so famous quotes I've collected about our favorite beverage. Anyone have any others to add to the collection? Which one(s) are your favorite? And why? #16 pretty much says it perfectly for me... but then again I've always been a fan of Tom ******. "Dennis Hutch had stepped up into the top seat when its founder had died of a lethal overdose of brick wall, taken while under the influence of a Ferrari and a bottle of tequila." ~ Douglas Adams, The Long Dark Tea-Time Of The Soul* "An ounce of breast milk is even more potent then the finest tequila." ~ Tori Amos "When life hands you lemons - break out the tequila and salt." ~ Anonymous "You know you're a drunkard when... You like tequila with a lime, or dirt, or a hamster or whatever, so long as there's tequila involved." ~ Anonymous "Any man or woman bellied up to a bar with a few shots of tequila swimming around in their bloodstream can tell a story. The challenge is to wake up the next day and carve through the minefield of the hangover and a million other excuses and be able to cohesively get it on paper." ~ Jimmy Buffett "Never do tequila shooters within 2 miles of a wedding chapel." ~ Al Bundy "It was boys who turned into men, beer that turned into tequila, and pot into speed ... and then they all turned on me." ~ Brett Butler "One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor." ~ George Carlin "Think of tequila as the Paris Hilton of the liquor world." ~ Mark Ellwood, New York Times "And, guys have this thing with librarians: 'I really like frumpy librarians with glasses who, after a couple of tequila shots, take their hair out of the bun and get crazy.' " ~ Sonya Jury "It is a drink that if it does not make you drunk promotes meditation, not always of a cheerful nature." ~ Malcolm Lowry, Under the Volcano "There's a reason 'Wheel of Fortune' is on right after 'Jeopardy': Once you've been forced to choke down the foul tasting tequila shot of your own abject ignorance, it's always nice to be able to bite into the refreshing lime wedge of other people's incredible f**ing stupidity." ~ Dennis Miller* "Time disappears with Tequila. It goes elastic, then vanishes." ~ Kylie Minogue "Beer makes you mellow, champagne makes you silly, wine makes you dramatic, tequila makes you felonious." ~ Modern Drunkard Magazine "A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any other invention in human history, with the possible exception of handguns and tequila." ~ Mitch Ratliffe, Technology Review, April 1992 "Now, tequila may be the favored beverage of outlaws, but that doesn't mean it gives them preferential treatment. In fact, tequila probably had betrayed as many outlaws as has the central nervous system and dissatisfied wives. Tequila, scorpian honey, harsh dew of the doglands, essence of Aztec, crema de cacti; tequila, oily and thermal like the sun in solution; tequila, liquid geometry of passion; Tequila, the buzzard god who copulates in midair with the ascending souls of dying virgins; tequila, firebug in the house of good taste; O tequila, savage water of sorcery, what confusion and mischief your sly, rebellious drops do generate!" ~ Tom *****, Still Life with Woodpecker "Margarita mix, upchucked with about 40 ounces of Corcovado Gold tequila which, as it turns out she and her friends rapidly consumed in the woods while trying to reenact the Blair Witch Project." ~ Scully, The X-Files "Well, I'd like to aplogize for that. I was giving mouth to mouth resuscitation to a bottle of tequila. And, we lost her too." ~ Sonny Steele, The Electric Horseman (1979) "We had two bags of grass, seventy-five pellets of mescaline, five sheets of high powered blotter acid, a salt shaker half full of cocaine, a whole galaxy of multi-colored uppers, downers, screamers, laughers... Also a quart of tequila, a quart of rum, a case of beer, a pint of raw ether and two dozen amyls." ~ Hunter S Thompson, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas "Look. He wouldn't even talk to me unless I had a drink with him. And then, it took three shots of something called "tequila" just to find out that HE was the one we're looking for! And I've spent the last twenty minutes trying to keep his hands off me! So don't go criticizing my counseling techniques!" ~ Troi, Star Trek First Contact "I'm gonna get me a bottle of tequila and find me a woman can suck the chrome off a bumper hitch." ~ Wendall, The Electric Horseman (1979)

05-12-2005	#2 (permalink)
cuffedlinks añejo Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: The City of Presidents Posts: 16,003	#21 sounds like a worthwhile endeavor....Heck, sounds more like a "life-quest" really....intellectually speaking of course... ...and I just saw that movie (or parts of it anyway) in PdC of all places. But I can't recall that I heard that line...and I would have remembered such a line.....I'm pretty sure.

05-12-2005	#4 (permalink)
TAPPY añejo Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Louisiana Posts: 15,315	I love it Denisa....thanks for the smiles on a Thursday !!!!!! #6....good ole Al Bundy !!!!

05-12-2005	#5 (permalink)
Banzoomba big sexy speedo guy Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Top of the Chesapeake Bay, Md Posts: 9,326	"An ounce of breast milk is even more potent then the finest tequila." ~ Tori Amos which bar serves this potent beverage....and just how fresh from the tap is it :p ..................

05-12-2005	#8 (permalink)
SunKneeMarie character encapsulator Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: Texas Posts: 27,783	There's a Modern Drunkard Magazine??

05-12-2005	#9 (permalink)
roni Happy Curmudgeon Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Oregon Posts: 29,016	I really like Tom *******. What a writer. #16

05-12-2005	#13 (permalink)
ReadyTRock beachaholic Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Parker, CO Posts: 392	When I read #21, it didn't sound exactly right - I thought there was something about a keno runner. So, searching the web, I found these supposed quotes. Hhhmmm I wonder which version is correct? "I'm gonna get me a bottle of tequila and find me a woman can suck the chrome off a bumper hitch." "I'm gonna go out and find me a girl who can suck the chrome off a trailer hitch." "I don't know about you but i'm gonna grab me a fifth of tequila one of those keeno girls that could suck the chrome off a trailer hitch and kinda kick back" "I don't know about you, but I'm gonna get me a bottle of tequila, and one of those little keno girls that can suck the chrome off a trailer hitch, and kick back." (could or can? fifth or bottle?) "I'm gonna get me a bottle of tequila and find me a woman can suck the chrome off a bumper hitch." "I'm gona get me a bottle of taquila anda hootchie cootchie girl that can suck the chrome off a trailer hitch!" "I'm gonna get me one of them keno girls that can suck the chrome off a trailer hitch"

05-12-2005	#15 (permalink)
TEX añejo Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Mesquite,Texas Posts: 4,927	I'm kinda fond of #12, but I've always been a fan of Dennis Miller. Even if he goes over my head sometimes with his "name-dropping"......

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