Prime Ministerial Humour

[Bumper]

While I'm certain our friends south of the 49th aren't aware of the situation that has been underway on the Canadian political scene for the last few months - you lucky devils - it is something all us Canucks have been painfully aware of. In any case, let's just say the turmoil and on-going gridlock came to a head yesterday, when the current Liberal government dodged a bullet by surviving a non-confidence vote in the House of Commons by the narrowest of margins possible. This post is by no means intended to generate a political discussion. It just gave me an opportunity to haul a couple of mouldy-oldies from the archives and get rid of them. I had to update both items to make them somewhat more current. One of them still had Jean Chretien as it's focus, while the other is so ancient that it featured Brian Mulroney as the guest of honour. I never throw anything away.


Prime Minister Paul Martin and his chauffeur were rolling down a rural lane when suddenly they hit a pig crossing the road. The animal was killed instantly.

Paul instructed his driver, “Go to that farm house over there and explain to the pig’s owner what has happened.”

Over an hour later, Paul sees his driver returning from the farm, his clothing all disheveled, a bottle of wine in one hand and a cigar in the other.

“What happened to you?” Martin asks.

“Well, the farmer gave me this fine bottle of vintage Bordeaux, his wife presented me with this excellent Cuban cigar, and their lovely 19-year-old daughter insisted on making mad, passionate love to me.”

“My God, man! What did you say to them?”, asked the Prime Minister.

The driver answered: “Good evening, I am Paul Martin’s chauffeur, and I have just killed the pig.”

*********************************************

A man on his way home from work in downtown Ottawa came to a dead halt in traffic and thought to himself, “Wow, this traffic seems even worse than usual. Nothing’s moving at all.”

He notices a police officer walking back and forth between the lines of cars, so he rolls down his window and asks, “Excuse me, officer, but what’s the hold up?”

The police officer replies, “The Prime Minister is so depressed about the corruption scandals, the lack of progress being made in parliament because of the minority government situation and the growing number of problems within the Liberal party that he stopped his limo in the middle of the Queensway. He’s threatening to douse himself in gasoline and set himself on fire. He says the whole country hates him and he can’t afford to quit because he hasn’t got a big enough pension to retire on. I’m going around and taking up a collection for him.”

“Oh really? How much have you collected?”

“So far only about thirty gallons, but there’s still a lot of folks siphoning.”

Only in Canada... Good one Bumper!!