Wash Your Car!!

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How fastidious are you about keeping your car clean? Are you one of those borderline compulsives who is out in the driveway every couple of days with your furry wash mitt and chamois, or do you wait until the accumulated grunge falls off in chunks when you hit a pothole?

The Top 14 Signs Your Car Needs Cleaning

1. Your beautiful new VW Beetle is constantly being mistaken for the Oscar Meyer Turdmobile.

2. On their way to the fishin’ hole, Andy and Opie stop by your windshield for bait.

3. Greenpeace gets an injunction to prevent you from moving your car for fear of displacing an endangered species of dung beetle that have taken up residence.

4. Neighbourhood kids offer, “Mow your Volvo, sir?”

5. Your pine tree air freshener is now recognized as a protected old growth forest.

6. Satellite photos reveal crop circles on your roof.

7. “Wash Me” appears on your trunk - chiseled with a jackhammer.

8. It has become increasingly difficult to drive with the kids constantly clamoring to have a look through the periscope.

9. What others take as your “cell phone antenna” is really a sapling that took root.

10. The kids are really freaked out by the blood stains on the Chevy.

11. Visits to the farm frequently result in pigs humping your tires.

12. Kids write “PLOW ME” on your trunk.

13. When you blow the horn, prairie dogs pop up from the hood.

14. That rank smell coming from beneath all those McDonalds bags? The missing baby!!!