Ten Husbands

[Bumper]

The 10 Husbands

A lawyer got married to a woman who had previously been married ten times. On their wedding night, they settled into the bridal suite at their hotel and the bride said to the new groom, “Please, promise to be gentle. I’m still a virgin.”

This puzzled the groom, since after ten marriages, he thought at least one of her husbands would have been able to perform sexually. He asked his bride to explain the phenomenon.

She responded, “My first husband was a salesman who spent our entire marriage telling me, in grandiose terms, “It’s gonna be great!”

“My second husband was from software services company; he was never quite sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he would send me documentation.”

“My third husband was from computer field services firm and constantly maintained that everything was diagnostically okay, but he just couldn’t get the system up.”

“My fourth husband was from a telemarketing organization and said he had the orders, but he wasn’t quite sure he was going to be able to deliver.”

“My fifth husband was an engineer. He told me he understood the basic process, but needed three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method.”

“My sixth husband worked in finance and administration. His comment was that he knew how, but he just wasn’t sure whether or not it was his job.”

“My seventh husband was a marketing manager. He told me he had the product, but he wasn’t sure how to position it.”

“My eighth husband was a psychiatrist, and all he ever wanted to do was talk about it.”

“My ninth husband was a gynaecologist, and all he ever wanted to do was look at it.”

“My tenth husband was a stamp collector, and all he ever wanted to do was...God I miss him!”

“So now I’ve married a lawyer, and I know I’m definitely going to get screwed.”