How Wilma taught me not to cry

Joana · 10-26-2005

Just a little story from today that I thought I'd share.......

As you all know the last months have been very stressful for me- even more so as I'm still batteling my burnout syndrome.
Most here know as well that I go by status of pooooor student- I live off around 800 $ a month that I have to pay everything with, which is quite a tight budget with an appartment to pay and such.
Soooo- when I finished my exam I could sell my old books- which brought me 300 $. Finally some money to buy some clothes from- which I usually can't afford most of the time.
I'd also set aside 160$ for a 10x card at a wellness resort here, which I was planning to go to once a week......in order to relax and also to do something for my immune system by going to the sauna.....and to battle the burnout by relaxing. Moreover it was supposed to be a "little vacation" as I haven't been out on vacation since 2001. Just a little present to myself after all the stress of this year.

Well- today I realized I lost my purse yesterday, or it got stolen. I am not sure which. I know I still had it around midday when I got lunch. I am also sure I'd put it back into my bag after. I've been trying to track back the events- there is no point where I could have really lost it.
So I spent all day calling various places.......also the police. Nothing.
Lucky for me my bank-card wasn't in there- but everything else. Passpost, drivers licence, student card. And so on and so on. Getting new ones will cost me around 150$ and tons of time at the offices. Money and time that I don't have. Stress.

But what upset me the most was the loss of that 10x wellness card. Thing is that it is a card without name or such on it- I called them today, told them when I purchased it and what happened- they told me they can't do anything as they don't keep track of those cards in a book......so it is lost. 160$ for nothing plus I can't afford a new one. I'd been looking forward so much to having some time just for me once a week and it's all gone.
I was crying like crazy- it upset me so much. And I got so mad as I was thinking "So many people would just buy a new one- I can't afford that. Why do I have to be the one this happens to!"

Then at one point the thought of Wilma shot through my head. Even though she hasn't destroyed Playa she has destroyed homes and is causing many people pain and a lot of work. So I started thinking: hey, I have a home. I don't have to rebuild a house and I haven't lost everything. Just a bit of luxury that others will never have- so what the heck am I making such a fuss about????? That made me go silent.

So Wilma thaught me not to cry today. May sound like a silly story to some. But that's how it was.

Babaloo · 10-26-2005

Nothing silly about that story at all.
There is nothing wrong with feeling bad about your own problems even when there may be problems on a larger scale elsewhere.
We are told not to sweat the small things...but sometimes those small things just kick us in the ass.

Anyway...hang in there Joana and I'm sorry about your situation. It really is a pain.

playabum17 · 10-26-2005

Quote:

Originally Posted by Babaloo

Nothing silly about that story at all.
There is nothing wrong with feeling bad about your own problems even when there may be problems on a larger scale elsewhere.
We are told not to sweat the small things...but sometimes those small things just kick us in the ass.

Anyway...hang in there Joana and I'm sorry about your situation. It really is a pain.

Well put, Babaloo!

Hang in there Joana and as my Dad always tells me 'Don't let the bastards get you down'

monte · 10-26-2005

Joana, sorry to hear about your bad luck. But yes you are right. You have a home and your health, thank goodness for that. Light some candles and take a warm bubble bath, for some reason it helps me, even if it's just for a short time. Good luck

fireinmn · 10-26-2005

I'm so sorry to hear this Joana! It totally sucks... It will all get better soon.

MaripositaII · 10-26-2005

Oh Joana, I can so relate to the 'everything is going wrong' feelings. I am sorry to hear what happened to you. It's normal to be angry and feel sorry for yourself. Don't fight the feelings at first, but little by little you'll walk away from that and see other positive things in your life.

Bigs hugs coming from me to you!!!

Nerak936 · 10-26-2005

Oh, Joana..... I'm so sorry to hear of your recent troubles! Yes, it is good to remember to count your blessings, but as Babaloo so nicely put it, troubles and problems will surely come our way during our lives, and although there will always be others in more dire circumstances, we too are allowed to feel a bit down sometimes and whine an earned "Why me???"

Mmmmm..... that bubble bath that Monte mentioned sounds like a wonderful idea. You work hard on lots of stuff you HAVE to do..... spend a little time making things nice for YOU. Treat yourself to a "spa evening" at home and make it really special all fo you (cuz YOU are so special).

(((hugs)))

Joana · 10-26-2005

Oh- thank you all for the kind words. That is so sweet of all of you!!!
I mainly put the story here to sort of remind all of us not to fret over "small things" too much- in the end we all have it good. But getting kind words in return surely feels nice. And it is humbling at the same time when some, who have been through so much more trouble this year than I have (like Mariposita) tell me I have a right to be upset.....even if it's just small stuff.

About the bathtub-idea: I loooooooove long baths and I usually stay in so long that I'm just short of growing fins when I get out of the tub.
Unfortunately I don't have one- only a crappy shower that goes from hot to cold every few seconds, thus prompting aerobic-like action every morning. That was one of the reasons I was looking forward to that spa so much- they have this great pool.....ah well. That'll have to wait.

Maybe- if I am lucky- my Dad will help me out. He is usually a rather "hard" and unemotional man, but events over the years have brought us closer together.
Oh- I just realized I never wrote about that. Some of you might remember he was in hospital when I had my exams.
Well- in the short two weeks I had off he had to go back to have a katheter done to check the arteries around his heart........I went with him to the procedure as it was done in "my" hospital. Things went quite wrong.........right on starting the procedure we/they found a very closed up part of one artery- they were going to dilatate it but already used up four katheters just trying to get there as it was in a really unaccesible area of the artery. Finally the katheter was in place- they dilatated it.....next thing I know is that the professor who was doing it turned to me and said: please leave the room now. Which is code for: shit is hitting the fan and I don't want you to see us reanimating your Dad in the worst case.
So I sat outside for two hours, knowing that something was going on....saw another doc going in to assist.....finally my Dad came out and instead of taking him home with me I took him to the intermediate ICU.
Thing that happened was that right after dilatation the artery collapsed- which is like an artificial heartattack. That's why they sent me out- as they didn't know wether they'd get stuff under control. In the end they did and my Dad could leave the hospital two days after......
Since those recent events we have become even closer than we used to be as I was the one "in charge" when he was in the hospital and he needed to show some trust.

So well- back on topic- was on the phone with him earlier when I was upset and he kept saying I shouldn't worry. Maybe, just maybe, that means he might give me a new card. Shouldn't get my hopes up though as Dad is one of those who are old school and more like "That's life, deal with it!!".

MaripositaII · 10-26-2005

I'm glad you still have your dad. I'd give anything to have just one hour with my dad again.

jflattracker · 10-26-2005

I am so sorry to hear of your troubles! You could give yourself a manicure, pedicure, facial and stuff like that! And light candles. Vanilla is suppose to be a relaxing smell!! I hope things work out for you!

BonnyW · 10-26-2005

What a nice story Joana! I am glad to hear your Dad's experience has a happy ending. And as others have said, you are allowed some self-indulgences. You take care of so many others, and you also need to take care of yourself. Good things do come back around to good people. (((HUGS)))

**TeeZet** · 10-27-2005

Quote:

Originally Posted by MaripositaII

I'm glad you still have your dad. I'd give anything to have just one hour with my dad again.

Says it all...

Tough break, Joana...
I hope it'll work out, somehow.

(Joana's Dad: are you reading these pages, too?)

Joana · 10-27-2005

Thanks again for all the kind words!!

To all those where saying they'd wish they had another hour with Dad (or Mum)- this summer has certainly taught me a lot on how to "deal" with parents.
Aren't there so many moments when they annoy a bit.....and you get unnerved by your parents?? And later on one regrets that feeling because they only mean good....
Both of my parents have been ill as long as I remember- my Dad had his first heart attack (of three......one almost killed him) when I was 12 and has severe heart probs. I'd learned to live with the fact that I can get "the" call any day.......my mum is chronically ill as well with rheumathoid arthritis (and a very agressive one at that- sometimes she can't even leave the bed) since I was born......
But even though both of them are ill I never thought much about them being gone one day- maybe because I grew up with the situation.

This summer my two best friends lost their mums very unexpectedly in a timespan of just two months. During the same time my Dad was in hospital twice.
That surely made me think.
It's not that I treat my parents that much differently- I just try to spend more time with them and watch out for the fact that I never part with them in anger, or moreover tell them that I love them as often as I can. This way- in case the worst happens- I can part with them in peace. As- the worst thing is not to part in peace. My mum STILL suffers nowadays as the last time she saw her Dad they argued- and then he had a stroke.

And Tee- no, Dad doesn't read these pages. He did visit me in Playa for one day when he was on a buisniess trip in Mex. But he doesn't care about the area really............
Funny anecdote by the way: I didn't know that Dad was coming to visit. Hadn't seen him over a year and hadn't spoken to him in a long time. Had my day off that day......was dozing in the hammok with a huge hangover when someone knocked at the door. Thought it was for my friend and didn't open. Someone slipped a letter under the door and left.....got up ten mins later to read it. It said: hi- it's your Dad. I was here but you weren't. I'll wait for you at the cafe at the beach.
I totally flipped and went utterly uncontrolled!!!
Instead of looking for him at all cafes at the beach I lost my nerves after the first ones and went to our diveshop at the RIU where he had been looking for me.
I was crying my eyes out because I didn't find him. Some folks that didn't know what this was about thought something really serious had happened- and laughed when I just sobbed "My Dad is in town and I can't find him!". It just upset me so much that I was loosing valuable time with him every second.
Finally I went back to town and ran into him on the way back to the appartment- it was great.
We went to Puerto for dinner and then to Tutix- where he got all my colleagues incredibly drunk.
He left the next day...........

P.S.: am so much more relaxed today. Took the ferry instead of the bus home and enjoyed the sun and water.......very nice. Am slowly getting over the fact that I lost the purse. There are worse things in life. :=)

alwaysmissinpdc · 10-27-2005

Glad to read that you're feeling better today. Be good to yourself.

10-26-2005	#1 (permalink)
Joana Niiiice!! Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: With Quincy....... Posts: 4,961	How Wilma taught me not to cry Just a little story from today that I thought I'd share....... As you all know the last months have been very stressful for me- even more so as I'm still batteling my burnout syndrome. Most here know as well that I go by status of pooooor student- I live off around 800 $ a month that I have to pay everything with, which is quite a tight budget with an appartment to pay and such. Soooo- when I finished my exam I could sell my old books- which brought me 300 $. Finally some money to buy some clothes from- which I usually can't afford most of the time. I'd also set aside 160$ for a 10x card at a wellness resort here, which I was planning to go to once a week......in order to relax and also to do something for my immune system by going to the sauna.....and to battle the burnout by relaxing. Moreover it was supposed to be a "little vacation" as I haven't been out on vacation since 2001. Just a little present to myself after all the stress of this year. Well- today I realized I lost my purse yesterday, or it got stolen. I am not sure which. I know I still had it around midday when I got lunch. I am also sure I'd put it back into my bag after. I've been trying to track back the events- there is no point where I could have really lost it. So I spent all day calling various places.......also the police. Nothing. Lucky for me my bank-card wasn't in there- but everything else. Passpost, drivers licence, student card. And so on and so on. Getting new ones will cost me around 150$ and tons of time at the offices. Money and time that I don't have. Stress. But what upset me the most was the loss of that 10x wellness card. Thing is that it is a card without name or such on it- I called them today, told them when I purchased it and what happened- they told me they can't do anything as they don't keep track of those cards in a book......so it is lost. 160$ for nothing plus I can't afford a new one. I'd been looking forward so much to having some time just for me once a week and it's all gone. I was crying like crazy- it upset me so much. And I got so mad as I was thinking "So many people would just buy a new one- I can't afford that. Why do I have to be the one this happens to!" Then at one point the thought of Wilma shot through my head. Even though she hasn't destroyed Playa she has destroyed homes and is causing many people pain and a lot of work. So I started thinking: hey, I have a home. I don't have to rebuild a house and I haven't lost everything. Just a bit of luxury that others will never have- so what the heck am I making such a fuss about????? That made me go silent. So Wilma thaught me not to cry today. May sound like a silly story to some. But that's how it was. __________________ No regrets "There are two things that are endless: the universe and human stupidity. I am not completely sure about the universe being endless though." Albert Einstein Original SLOT.

10-26-2005	#8 (permalink)
Joana Niiiice!! Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: With Quincy....... Posts: 4,961	Oh- thank you all for the kind words. That is so sweet of all of you!!! I mainly put the story here to sort of remind all of us not to fret over "small things" too much- in the end we all have it good. But getting kind words in return surely feels nice. And it is humbling at the same time when some, who have been through so much more trouble this year than I have (like Mariposita) tell me I have a right to be upset.....even if it's just small stuff. About the bathtub-idea: I loooooooove long baths and I usually stay in so long that I'm just short of growing fins when I get out of the tub. Unfortunately I don't have one- only a crappy shower that goes from hot to cold every few seconds, thus prompting aerobic-like action every morning. That was one of the reasons I was looking forward to that spa so much- they have this great pool.....ah well. That'll have to wait. Maybe- if I am lucky- my Dad will help me out. He is usually a rather "hard" and unemotional man, but events over the years have brought us closer together. Oh- I just realized I never wrote about that. Some of you might remember he was in hospital when I had my exams. Well- in the short two weeks I had off he had to go back to have a katheter done to check the arteries around his heart........I went with him to the procedure as it was done in "my" hospital. Things went quite wrong.........right on starting the procedure we/they found a very closed up part of one artery- they were going to dilatate it but already used up four katheters just trying to get there as it was in a really unaccesible area of the artery. Finally the katheter was in place- they dilatated it.....next thing I know is that the professor who was doing it turned to me and said: please leave the room now. Which is code for: shit is hitting the fan and I don't want you to see us reanimating your Dad in the worst case. So I sat outside for two hours, knowing that something was going on....saw another doc going in to assist.....finally my Dad came out and instead of taking him home with me I took him to the intermediate ICU. Thing that happened was that right after dilatation the artery collapsed- which is like an artificial heartattack. That's why they sent me out- as they didn't know wether they'd get stuff under control. In the end they did and my Dad could leave the hospital two days after...... Since those recent events we have become even closer than we used to be as I was the one "in charge" when he was in the hospital and he needed to show some trust. So well- back on topic- was on the phone with him earlier when I was upset and he kept saying I shouldn't worry. Maybe, just maybe, that means he might give me a new card. Shouldn't get my hopes up though as Dad is one of those who are old school and more like "That's life, deal with it!!". Last edited by Joana; 10-28-2005 at 04:26 PM.

10-27-2005	#13 (permalink)
Joana Niiiice!! Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: With Quincy....... Posts: 4,961	Thanks again for all the kind words!! To all those where saying they'd wish they had another hour with Dad (or Mum)- this summer has certainly taught me a lot on how to "deal" with parents. Aren't there so many moments when they annoy a bit.....and you get unnerved by your parents?? And later on one regrets that feeling because they only mean good.... Both of my parents have been ill as long as I remember- my Dad had his first heart attack (of three......one almost killed him) when I was 12 and has severe heart probs. I'd learned to live with the fact that I can get "the" call any day.......my mum is chronically ill as well with rheumathoid arthritis (and a very agressive one at that- sometimes she can't even leave the bed) since I was born...... But even though both of them are ill I never thought much about them being gone one day- maybe because I grew up with the situation. This summer my two best friends lost their mums very unexpectedly in a timespan of just two months. During the same time my Dad was in hospital twice. That surely made me think. It's not that I treat my parents that much differently- I just try to spend more time with them and watch out for the fact that I never part with them in anger, or moreover tell them that I love them as often as I can. This way- in case the worst happens- I can part with them in peace. As- the worst thing is not to part in peace. My mum STILL suffers nowadays as the last time she saw her Dad they argued- and then he had a stroke. And Tee- no, Dad doesn't read these pages. He did visit me in Playa for one day when he was on a buisniess trip in Mex. But he doesn't care about the area really............ Funny anecdote by the way: I didn't know that Dad was coming to visit. Hadn't seen him over a year and hadn't spoken to him in a long time. Had my day off that day......was dozing in the hammok with a huge hangover when someone knocked at the door. Thought it was for my friend and didn't open. Someone slipped a letter under the door and left.....got up ten mins later to read it. It said: hi- it's your Dad. I was here but you weren't. I'll wait for you at the cafe at the beach. I totally flipped and went utterly uncontrolled!!! Instead of looking for him at all cafes at the beach I lost my nerves after the first ones and went to our diveshop at the RIU where he had been looking for me. I was crying my eyes out because I didn't find him. Some folks that didn't know what this was about thought something really serious had happened- and laughed when I just sobbed "My Dad is in town and I can't find him!". It just upset me so much that I was loosing valuable time with him every second. Finally I went back to town and ran into him on the way back to the appartment- it was great. We went to Puerto for dinner and then to Tutix- where he got all my colleagues incredibly drunk. He left the next day........... P.S.: am so much more relaxed today. Took the ferry instead of the bus home and enjoyed the sun and water.......very nice. Am slowly getting over the fact that I lost the purse. There are worse things in life. :=) Last edited by Joana; 10-28-2005 at 04:28 PM.

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10-26-2005	#2 (permalink)
Babaloo añejo Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Paamul, Q Roo Mexico Posts: 10,767	Nothing silly about that story at all. There is nothing wrong with feeling bad about your own problems even when there may be problems on a larger scale elsewhere. We are told not to sweat the small things...but sometimes those small things just kick us in the ass. Anyway...hang in there Joana and I'm sorry about your situation. It really is a pain.

10-26-2005	#4 (permalink)
monte añejo Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: dallas Posts: 12,239	Joana, sorry to hear about your bad luck. But yes you are right. You have a home and your health, thank goodness for that. Light some candles and take a warm bubble bath, for some reason it helps me, even if it's just for a short time. Good luck

10-26-2005	#5 (permalink)
fireinmn añejo Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: St. Paul, MN Posts: 5,214	I'm so sorry to hear this Joana! It totally sucks... It will all get better soon.

10-26-2005	#6 (permalink)
MaripositaII añejo Join Date: Sep 2005 Posts: 3,632	Oh Joana, I can so relate to the 'everything is going wrong' feelings. I am sorry to hear what happened to you. It's normal to be angry and feel sorry for yourself. Don't fight the feelings at first, but little by little you'll walk away from that and see other positive things in your life. Bigs hugs coming from me to you!!!

10-26-2005	#7 (permalink)
Nerak936 Cat-Lovin Nerak Bead Lady Join Date: Apr 2004 Posts: 18,620	Oh, Joana..... I'm so sorry to hear of your recent troubles! Yes, it is good to remember to count your blessings, but as Babaloo so nicely put it, troubles and problems will surely come our way during our lives, and although there will always be others in more dire circumstances, we too are allowed to feel a bit down sometimes and whine an earned "Why me???" Mmmmm..... that bubble bath that Monte mentioned sounds like a wonderful idea. You work hard on lots of stuff you HAVE to do..... spend a little time making things nice for YOU. Treat yourself to a "spa evening" at home and make it really special all fo you (cuz YOU are so special). (((hugs)))

10-26-2005	#9 (permalink)
MaripositaII añejo Join Date: Sep 2005 Posts: 3,632	I'm glad you still have your dad. I'd give anything to have just one hour with my dad again.

10-26-2005	#10 (permalink)
jflattracker añejo Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Loveland,Co Posts: 11,475	I am so sorry to hear of your troubles! You could give yourself a manicure, pedicure, facial and stuff like that! And light candles. Vanilla is suppose to be a relaxing smell!! I hope things work out for you!

10-26-2005	#11 (permalink)
BonnyW añejo Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Left Coast...So Cal Posts: 8,865	What a nice story Joana! I am glad to hear your Dad's experience has a happy ending. And as others have said, you are allowed some self-indulgences. You take care of so many others, and you also need to take care of yourself. Good things do come back around to good people. (((HUGS)))

10-27-2005	#14 (permalink)
alwaysmissinpdc añejo Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: burbs north of Wilmington, Delaware Posts: 3,198	Glad to read that you're feeling better today. Be good to yourself.

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