Beer in a bag, girls on a pole, and dance, dance, dance - A TRIP REPORT!!!

StewartG · 04-17-2006

Everything started off the night before with my subtrafuge... (This was a surprise for my wife for those who didn't know.) Wednesday night I MOANED about how I had an early hearing, didn’t want to go downtown, etc. I asked Kelli for advice about what to wear, etc. Basically - just setting the stage for the surprise.

She takes her shower, gets ready for work, and head out the door. I jump up, put on my "playa clothes," put on my nerak beads grab an EMPTY suitcase and head to the hospital. I show up to the anesthesia office where Kelli is picking her cases for the day, walk in and announce to Kelli, "Come on baby, you’re outta here!"

Of course, she was shocked, but - at this point - mostly confused! I said, come on Kelli, we’re going to Playa! Kelli’s response? More confusion! After a couple of minutes I FINALLY had her convinced that we were really going to Playa and she was THRILLED!!!

One of her friends asked me, "What’s the occasion? Anniversary?" I explained to him no, no anniversary, no birthday, nothing like that. The best time to surprise the one you love is when there’s no special occasion at all - that’s how they know you REALLY care!
You noticed I made the point that I brought an EMPTY suitcase? Well, a few minutes after the surprise while all of her friends are chatting and enjoying the surprise, she leans over to me with a sort of sick apprehensive smile and hesitantly says, "Uhhh.... You PACKED for me honey?"

I leaned back and whispered the words she wanted to hear: "Don’t worry sweetie, the suitcase is empty - you’ve got several hours to pack." And the award for best use of empty suitcase props goes to.... Me!

So we go home, and of course, Kelli is in a panic. "I ONLY HAVE SIX HOURS TO PACK BEFORE OUR FLIGHT LEAVES??? AAARRRRGGGG!!!"

(She made it just under the wire...)

We get to Cancun, and the timing was just perfect. We caught the ADO bus JUST as it was leaving for Playa. Spent 45 minutes watching assorted scenes of gunfire, bloodshed, sword fighting, rapes, murder and Stephen Segal.

I just HATE the movies they show on the ADO bus. We decide we can’t take the ADO bus when we come back with the kids in June - all the other stuff would be fine, but we do NOT want them exposed to Stephen Segal!!!

I booked us rooms at the Luna Blue. I will discuss the owners more later in the report, but suffice it to say that this place is beautiful. REALLY beautiful. Once Kelli and I get up to the room I ask her, "Do you want to know how much I love you?" Its at this point that I make the observation that there is no phone and no tv in the room - a first for me!

We are meeting A’ndrea for drinks at the TB at nine so we have just enough time for a quick dinner. We head west on 26 up toward 30<SUP>th</SUP> avenue for a "compare and contrast" dinner between El Fogon and El Pastoricito. We ordered tacos al pastor, guacamole and arracharra at El Fogon. I know a lot of people REALLY like this place, so it may have just been an off night, but we thought El Fogon was just okay. I was very impressed with the size of their el pastor rotisserie - it was about as big as my torso. It was actually sort of shaped like a torso too. You don’t think we were actually eating.... AHHHHH!!!!

Anyway, everything was just okay at El Fogon, with the exception of the arracharra which we both found kind of bland and overcooked and not even in the same league as HC de Monterrey. (Which REALLY IS "HC" de Monterrey again - but more about this later.) The tacos al pastor at El Pastoricito were another story - this is clearly where these people shine. The tacos had a deep and rich flavor. The tangy spice of the meat was balanced well by a sweet flavor that was almost like a teriyaki taste. Overall, our favorite tacos al pastor are at here or at Carboncitos. (I’ll get to my review of them a bit later.) One nice flavor at El Fogon, by the way, were the grilled onions. I’m sure you’ve seen them - they look like long green onions but with a fat bulb at the bottom. They let me taste one on the way out and it was probably the best thing we ate there!

We manage to get to the Tequila Barrel by about 8:30 so we have AMPLE time to take advantage of the 2 for 1 special in the back bar which is going on until nine. (Remember this - its important later - the 2 for 1 special is ONLY from 8 to 9!) Of course the first thing I noticed when I walked in the back bar at the TB was the pole. THE POLE!!! EEEEEEKKK!!!

(Okay, remember the pole as well, it is also important later - as those of you who have seen the pictures in my teaser post already know!)

Kelli and I start drinking, and every ten minutes or so I would go up front and look for A’ndrea. On one of my trips up front looking for A’, I spot a familiar face that looks at me, grins, grabs my highlighted hair and shouts - "Those nerak beads really work - I wasn’t expecting this hair!" It was Shammy! She was there with hubby (and all around cool guy) Chris and two handsome shuffling young zombies from The Night of the Living Dead named Evan and Shawn. (Apparently they had been up since 2am this morning and her sons were fading fast.) We had back into the back bar, and since the 9 pm deadline for 2 for 1 drinks is RAPIDLY approaching, we get down to some SERIOUS drinking business.

A few minutes later I run up front to check for A’ again and guess what - there she is!!!

We all head back and everyone kisses and hugs. Our waitress comes over and asks if we want something to drink - I make the observation that the 2 for 1 special is over, but out waitress lets us know its been extended to 9:30! Yay! Once again, we get down to the serious business of drinking. As 9:30 approaches, we start suckin’ em down faster and faster until we learn that the special has been extended to ten. (Do you see a pattern here?) At some point, Chris heads out to take the zombies back to the hotel, (Don’t worry, Chris gets his turn to party tomorrow!) and its just me, Kelli, A’ndrea and Shammy, until... Tyra and Caroline show up!!! Well, the good news just keeps coming about the 2 for 1 drink extension and we drank almost enough to make them change the name of the bar (as in, sorry folks, we’re OUT of tequila!!!) Of course, along with excessive drinking comes the mandatory irresponsible use of the pole! Here are a few pics for your enjoyment.

First - the zombies!

And now the pictures you have all been waiting for!

Here's a picture with StewartG and Kelli on top, and on bottom from left to right is Shammy, Caroline, Tyra and A'ndrea.

Here is a picture of Ivel, the lovely waitress that kept giving us the "good news" about the extension on the 2 for 1 drinks:

Here are some pictures of us dancing, having fun, girl-on-girl lap dances , etc.

And I've saved my FAVORITE picture from the TB for last. Why don't we have a "put a caption to the picture" contest on this one, okay? I'll go first: "Hands off, she's mine!"

After a while, Tyra and Caroline wander off and the four of us wander over to Pizza Pazza to satisfy our "tequila munchies." Kelli, A’ and I decide we want to go dancing, but little Ms. "been up since 2 am Joisy time" Shammy" has hit the wall. We all try to convince her to let us walk her back to the Luna Blue, but she insists she’s fine to go alone. I’m really not pleased until she reminds us she IS a "Joisy girl" and we realize that it’s the muggers and perverts on the way home that need to be scared!

A’ suggests we go dancing at Bliss. This is a really, really great club! Smaller than La Santanera, but much less crowded with music that’s almost as good. They are having "condom night" there, so everyone gets free samples.

At one point, they turn on some UV lights on the stage and some dancers with fluorescent body paint come out and start dancing. They also start twirling fluorescent painted things around and then I realize - I think these are the fire dancers! I tried to take pictures but they did not come out. In any event, it was a great show. Shorter than the fire dancer show, and there were only two or three dancers, but its nice to see they are still in Playa! (Assuming it was them.)

RIGHT after I order us a bunch of beers, we all decide to go move on to La Santanera. Since we have several open bottles of beer, we ask for a "para llavar" cup. The bartender takes our beers, ducks behind the counter and comes up with a PLASTIC BAG full of beer! She sticks a straw in it, gives me a big smile, and we’re on our way, LAUGHING our ASSES off at the "para llavar BAG!" Well, we all feel goofy about carrying a bag of beer down the street so we just finish it off right outside. (Wait a minute, I just realized, it was condom night that night... You don't think we were drinking our beer out of a...

)

We head over to La Santanera and its PACKED! We checked at Bali, and they want a 30 dollar cover charge. I think, 30 pesos, okay, no biggie, BP is 50. I pull out some pesos and the girl says, "no, 30 dollars U.S."

Of course, we don't walk, we RUN over to La Santanera. They have a "velvet rope" scene over there, and they are ONLY letting the "beautiful people" in. I'm begging and pleading and even slip him 100 pesos, all to no avail.

A'ndrea leans over and whispers something in his ear, kisses him on his cheek, and a few minutes later, we're through!

We get to the entrance and - guess what - 30 f'ing dollar U.S. cover charge per person. I negotiate it down to 500 pesos for the three of us (wow, what a f*cking bargain

), and we go inside and join the crowd. After standing at the bar for 20 minutes just trying to buy a couple of drinks, we decide to call it a night. I think. Hey Kelli, hey A', did we decide to go back to Bliss? My mind is foggy at this point...

Anyway... The whole thing with the cover charge was a big big turn off. I hate to say it, but parts of Playa seem to RAPIDLY be turning into South Beach. With the Nicky beach club, the Tides hotel going up and 30 effing dollar cover charges, all we need is a Wolfies deli and the transformation is complete! (Of course, Wolfies in South Beach closed a few years ago, but that's another thread!)

Actually, I don't mind many of the changes and, after all, the only constant IS change. I actually like South Beach - Kelli and I hang out there sometimes. The BEASTLY cover charges at the clubs was insane. I know it was a holiday weekend, but that is just robbery, IMHO. I'm a "Bliss" guy from now on!!! (As you will see in my next installment to come out later this week!)

cmsitaly · 04-17-2006

Nice start Stewart!!! Partying hard right off the bat!

stonecold · 04-18-2006

Great start....

waiting for more...

JudyBluEyes · 04-18-2006

Wow, Stewart looks like you started out with a bang, and it looks like Kelli was having a blast, too!

monte · 04-18-2006

I'm no longer a naughty chica..................I can't compare to that

It looks as if ya'll had a bit of fun.

Thanks

mofi · 04-18-2006

Loving it....great report and humours writing style.

jay n dani · 04-18-2006

Wow, what a report!!! Can't wait to hear more.....and love the pics too.

jx2 · 04-18-2006

Quote:

Originally Posted by StewartG

Why don't we have a "put a caption to the picture" contest on this one, okay? I'll go first: "Hands off, she's mine!"

The guy in the hat "hey happy hour isnt over yet" still a chance for that 2 for 1

.
Great start to a gonna be great report Stewart. 30+ dollar cover charges will sure keep me away

Thats too bad. Hey how is it you get all those girls to yourself? And what happened to Tyra?

xqqzme · 04-18-2006

Stewart, I hope your pleadings are this funny!!! Great report...you guys DO know how to party!

Nerak936 · 04-18-2006

Fun report, Stew! Nice to hear that the Nerak beads still "work"!! I know what you mean about "Bliss". We had a blast there during JimmyMN's Bar Crawl during Peep Fest 2006, and I fully intend to spend a lot more time at that club when we return next March!

Now.... forget about that JOB you have and get some more trip report and pics on here for us!!!

W8N4Summer · 04-18-2006

Great start to your report Stewart, can't wait to hear more. I'm definitely taking notes on the restaurants. And thank goodness I know about the cover charges too!

TEX · 04-18-2006

My kinda trip report thus far, stew..... can't wait to read more. keep it comin' my friend.

TEX · 04-18-2006

anyone like to take a guess as to what the guy on the right is focusing on.......

debk · 04-18-2006

Holy Cow - Playa Peeps know how to party! After drinking that much, I wouldn't be dancin' on the pole, I'd be sleeping under a table. I'm impressed! Keep it comin'!! (It's always great to put faces with names!)

cuffedlinks · 04-18-2006

Thanks Stewart!
Looking forward to other installments...
Get the Dallas thing done and we'll catch up then.

04-17-2006	#1 (permalink)
StewartG commie pinko Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: The Kremlin (when not at my dacha in Houston) Posts: 12,940	Beer in a bag, girls on a pole, and dance, dance, dance - A TRIP REPORT!!! Everything started off the night before with my subtrafuge... (This was a surprise for my wife for those who didn't know.) Wednesday night I MOANED about how I had an early hearing, didn’t want to go downtown, etc. I asked Kelli for advice about what to wear, etc. Basically - just setting the stage for the surprise. She takes her shower, gets ready for work, and head out the door. I jump up, put on my "playa clothes," put on my nerak beads grab an EMPTY suitcase and head to the hospital. I show up to the anesthesia office where Kelli is picking her cases for the day, walk in and announce to Kelli, "Come on baby, you’re outta here!" Of course, she was shocked, but - at this point - mostly confused! I said, come on Kelli, we’re going to Playa! Kelli’s response? More confusion! After a couple of minutes I FINALLY had her convinced that we were really going to Playa and she was THRILLED!!! One of her friends asked me, "What’s the occasion? Anniversary?" I explained to him no, no anniversary, no birthday, nothing like that. The best time to surprise the one you love is when there’s no special occasion at all - that’s how they know you REALLY care! You noticed I made the point that I brought an EMPTY suitcase? Well, a few minutes after the surprise while all of her friends are chatting and enjoying the surprise, she leans over to me with a sort of sick apprehensive smile and hesitantly says, "Uhhh.... You PACKED for me honey?" I leaned back and whispered the words she wanted to hear: "Don’t worry sweetie, the suitcase is empty - you’ve got several hours to pack." And the award for best use of empty suitcase props goes to.... Me! So we go home, and of course, Kelli is in a panic. "I ONLY HAVE SIX HOURS TO PACK BEFORE OUR FLIGHT LEAVES??? AAARRRRGGGG!!!" (She made it just under the wire...) We get to Cancun, and the timing was just perfect. We caught the ADO bus JUST as it was leaving for Playa. Spent 45 minutes watching assorted scenes of gunfire, bloodshed, sword fighting, rapes, murder and Stephen Segal. I just HATE the movies they show on the ADO bus. We decide we can’t take the ADO bus when we come back with the kids in June - all the other stuff would be fine, but we do NOT want them exposed to Stephen Segal!!! I booked us rooms at the Luna Blue. I will discuss the owners more later in the report, but suffice it to say that this place is beautiful. REALLY beautiful. Once Kelli and I get up to the room I ask her, "Do you want to know how much I love you?" Its at this point that I make the observation that there is no phone and no tv in the room - a first for me! We are meeting A’ndrea for drinks at the TB at nine so we have just enough time for a quick dinner. We head west on 26 up toward 30<SUP>th</SUP> avenue for a "compare and contrast" dinner between El Fogon and El Pastoricito. We ordered tacos al pastor, guacamole and arracharra at El Fogon. I know a lot of people REALLY like this place, so it may have just been an off night, but we thought El Fogon was just okay. I was very impressed with the size of their el pastor rotisserie - it was about as big as my torso. It was actually sort of shaped like a torso too. You don’t think we were actually eating.... AHHHHH!!!! Anyway, everything was just okay at El Fogon, with the exception of the arracharra which we both found kind of bland and overcooked and not even in the same league as HC de Monterrey. (Which REALLY IS "HC" de Monterrey again - but more about this later.) The tacos al pastor at El Pastoricito were another story - this is clearly where these people shine. The tacos had a deep and rich flavor. The tangy spice of the meat was balanced well by a sweet flavor that was almost like a teriyaki taste. Overall, our favorite tacos al pastor are at here or at Carboncitos. (I’ll get to my review of them a bit later.) One nice flavor at El Fogon, by the way, were the grilled onions. I’m sure you’ve seen them - they look like long green onions but with a fat bulb at the bottom. They let me taste one on the way out and it was probably the best thing we ate there! We manage to get to the Tequila Barrel by about 8:30 so we have AMPLE time to take advantage of the 2 for 1 special in the back bar which is going on until nine. (Remember this - its important later - the 2 for 1 special is ONLY from 8 to 9!) Of course the first thing I noticed when I walked in the back bar at the TB was the pole. THE POLE!!! EEEEEEKKK!!! (Okay, remember the pole as well, it is also important later - as those of you who have seen the pictures in my teaser post already know!) Kelli and I start drinking, and every ten minutes or so I would go up front and look for A’ndrea. On one of my trips up front looking for A’, I spot a familiar face that looks at me, grins, grabs my highlighted hair and shouts - "Those nerak beads really work - I wasn’t expecting this hair!" It was Shammy! She was there with hubby (and all around cool guy) Chris and two handsome shuffling young zombies from The Night of the Living Dead named Evan and Shawn. (Apparently they had been up since 2am this morning and her sons were fading fast.) We had back into the back bar, and since the 9 pm deadline for 2 for 1 drinks is RAPIDLY approaching, we get down to some SERIOUS drinking business. A few minutes later I run up front to check for A’ again and guess what - there she is!!! We all head back and everyone kisses and hugs. Our waitress comes over and asks if we want something to drink - I make the observation that the 2 for 1 special is over, but out waitress lets us know its been extended to 9:30! Yay! Once again, we get down to the serious business of drinking. As 9:30 approaches, we start suckin’ em down faster and faster until we learn that the special has been extended to ten. (Do you see a pattern here?) At some point, Chris heads out to take the zombies back to the hotel, (Don’t worry, Chris gets his turn to party tomorrow!) and its just me, Kelli, A’ndrea and Shammy, until... Tyra and Caroline show up!!! Well, the good news just keeps coming about the 2 for 1 drink extension and we drank almost enough to make them change the name of the bar (as in, sorry folks, we’re OUT of tequila!!!) Of course, along with excessive drinking comes the mandatory irresponsible use of the pole! Here are a few pics for your enjoyment. First - the zombies! And now the pictures you have all been waiting for! Here's a picture with StewartG and Kelli on top, and on bottom from left to right is Shammy, Caroline, Tyra and A'ndrea. Here is a picture of Ivel, the lovely waitress that kept giving us the "good news" about the extension on the 2 for 1 drinks: Here are some pictures of us dancing, having fun, girl-on-girl lap dances , etc. And I've saved my FAVORITE picture from the TB for last. Why don't we have a "put a caption to the picture" contest on this one, okay? I'll go first: "Hands off, she's mine!" After a while, Tyra and Caroline wander off and the four of us wander over to Pizza Pazza to satisfy our "tequila munchies." Kelli, A’ and I decide we want to go dancing, but little Ms. "been up since 2 am Joisy time" Shammy" has hit the wall. We all try to convince her to let us walk her back to the Luna Blue, but she insists she’s fine to go alone. I’m really not pleased until she reminds us she IS a "Joisy girl" and we realize that it’s the muggers and perverts on the way home that need to be scared! A’ suggests we go dancing at Bliss. This is a really, really great club! Smaller than La Santanera, but much less crowded with music that’s almost as good. They are having "condom night" there, so everyone gets free samples. At one point, they turn on some UV lights on the stage and some dancers with fluorescent body paint come out and start dancing. They also start twirling fluorescent painted things around and then I realize - I think these are the fire dancers! I tried to take pictures but they did not come out. In any event, it was a great show. Shorter than the fire dancer show, and there were only two or three dancers, but its nice to see they are still in Playa! (Assuming it was them.) RIGHT after I order us a bunch of beers, we all decide to go move on to La Santanera. Since we have several open bottles of beer, we ask for a "para llavar" cup. The bartender takes our beers, ducks behind the counter and comes up with a PLASTIC BAG full of beer! She sticks a straw in it, gives me a big smile, and we’re on our way, LAUGHING our ASSES off at the "para llavar BAG!" Well, we all feel goofy about carrying a bag of beer down the street so we just finish it off right outside. (Wait a minute, I just realized, it was condom night that night... You don't think we were drinking our beer out of a... ) We head over to La Santanera and its PACKED! We checked at Bali, and they want a 30 dollar cover charge. I think, 30 pesos, okay, no biggie, BP is 50. I pull out some pesos and the girl says, "no, 30 dollars U.S." Of course, we don't walk, we RUN over to La Santanera. They have a "velvet rope" scene over there, and they are ONLY letting the "beautiful people" in. I'm begging and pleading and even slip him 100 pesos, all to no avail. A'ndrea leans over and whispers something in his ear, kisses him on his cheek, and a few minutes later, we're through! We get to the entrance and - guess what - 30 f'ing dollar U.S. cover charge per person. I negotiate it down to 500 pesos for the three of us (wow, what a fcking bargain ), and we go inside and join the crowd. After standing at the bar for 20 minutes just trying to buy a couple of drinks, we decide to call it a night. I think. Hey Kelli, hey A', did we decide to go back to Bliss? My mind is foggy at this point... Anyway... The whole thing with the cover charge was a big big turn off. I hate to say it, but parts of Playa seem to RAPIDLY be turning into South Beach. With the Nicky beach club, the Tides hotel going up and 30 effing dollar cover charges, all we need is a Wolfies deli and the transformation is complete! (Of course, Wolfies in South Beach closed a few years ago, but that's another thread!) Actually, I don't mind many of the changes and, after all, the only constant IS change. I actually like South Beach - Kelli and I hang out there sometimes. The BEASTLY cover charges at the clubs was insane. I know it was a holiday weekend, but that is just robbery, IMHO. I'm a "Bliss" guy from now on!!! (As you will see in my next installment to come out later this week!) __________________ I will be riding this Sunday, September 7th, in the* *Tour de Pink* cycle classic to fight breast cancer. I will ride in honor of MaripositaII's mother who is currently fighting this disease. To sponsor my ride and join in the fight, please go to my personal sponsorship page. Last edited by StewartG : 04-18-2006 at 08:47 AM.

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04-17-2006	#2 (permalink)
cmsitaly añejo Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Indianapolis Posts: 2,990	Nice start Stewart!!! Partying hard right off the bat!

04-18-2006	#3 (permalink)
stonecold life=playa Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: central mo Posts: 837	Great start.... waiting for more...

04-18-2006	#4 (permalink)
JudyBluEyes añejo Join Date: Aug 2005 Posts: 4,577	Wow, Stewart looks like you started out with a bang, and it looks like Kelli was having a blast, too!

04-18-2006	#5 (permalink)
monte añejo Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: dallas Posts: 12,141	I'm no longer a naughty chica..................I can't compare to that It looks as if ya'll had a bit of fun. Thanks

04-18-2006	#6 (permalink)
mofi añejo Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Now: Calgary, AB Before: Vancouver, BC, Canada Posts: 2,091	Loving it....great report and humours writing style.

04-18-2006	#7 (permalink)
jay n dani life=playa Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: So.Cal Posts: 663	Wow, what a report!!! Can't wait to hear more.....and love the pics too.

04-18-2006	#9 (permalink)
xqqzme Bi-Coastal Beacher Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: Las Vegas and St George Posts: 4,786	Stewart, I hope your pleadings are this funny!!! Great report...you guys DO know how to party!

04-18-2006	#10 (permalink)
Nerak936 =^. " .^= Join Date: Apr 2004 Posts: 18,505	Fun report, Stew! Nice to hear that the Nerak beads still "work"!! I know what you mean about "Bliss". We had a blast there during JimmyMN's Bar Crawl during Peep Fest 2006, and I fully intend to spend a lot more time at that club when we return next March! Now.... forget about that JOB you have and get some more trip report and pics on here for us!!!

04-18-2006	#11 (permalink)
W8N4Summer beachaholic Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Waukesha, WI (burb west of Milwaukee) Posts: 299	Great start to your report Stewart, can't wait to hear more. I'm definitely taking notes on the restaurants. And thank goodness I know about the cover charges too!

04-18-2006	#12 (permalink)
TEX añejo Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Mesquite,Texas Posts: 4,920	My kinda trip report thus far, stew..... can't wait to read more. keep it comin' my friend.

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04-18-2006	#13 (permalink)
TEX añejo Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Mesquite,Texas Posts: 4,920	anyone like to take a guess as to what the guy on the right is focusing on.......

04-18-2006	#14 (permalink)
debk beachaholic Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Ohio Posts: 437	Holy Cow - Playa Peeps know how to party! After drinking that much, I wouldn't be dancin' on the pole, I'd be sleeping under a table. I'm impressed! Keep it comin'!! (It's always great to put faces with names!)

04-18-2006	#15 (permalink)
cuffedlinks añejo Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: The City of Presidents Posts: 16,003	Thanks Stewart! Looking forward to other installments... Get the Dallas thing done and we'll catch up then.