Shammy Says...

[Bumper]

Shammy, well-known and beloved forum personality, claims “Youse ain’t from Joisy if the following don’t apply...”

You watched "Mallrats" and said "I've been to that mall!"

At least half the people you knew in high school went to Rutgers.

You know where Jimmy Hoffa is buried.

Your big class trip in elementary school was to Morristown.

You long for the days when the Devils wore Christmas colors.

You know that the only people that call it "Joisey" are from New York.

You've planned a local trip around ensuring you pass at least one Dunkin' Donuts.

You don't think of citrus when people mention "The Oranges"

You know that it's called "Great Adventure"... not "Six Flags", dammit!

You know that there are bakeries which are not part of a supermarket, but actual individual stores.

You've ordered a "hard roll with butter" for breakfast.

One time, a sea gull shit on your head.

You've eaten at a diner, drunk off your ass, at 3am at least a dozen times.

At least three people in your family still love Bruce Springsteen.

You always use a minimum of 10 variations of the word "damn" while driving.

You don't have to go to Red Lobster to get fresh seafood.

You once said, "It smells like New York in here,"

You can go bowling at 1:30 A.M. (with automatic scoring)!

In high school, you worked at a Friendly's.

The Garden State Parkway doesn't freak you out at night.

You know what a "jug handle" is.
You have mandatory recycling. Enforced by law.

You've eaten a pork roll and cheese on a hard roll...and like it.

You've pondered, "Maybe basketball would be more popular in NJ if the Nets didn't blow,"

You say "water" weird. (Wadder, Cawfee, Dowg, wadever)

Even your school made good Italian subs.

You've lived through hurricanes, nor'easters and fires, but have never seen a tornado or earthquake.

You can't believe MTV went to Seaside Heights.

You know that ACME is an actual store, not just a Warner Bros. creation.

You only go to New York City for day trips.

You've run out of money on the Parkway.

You're Italian.

You know where to get the best bagel.

You think the Olive Garden is crap and should have never opened any restaurants in New Jersey.

There are no self serve gas stations and you like it that freakin' way.

You've had sex on the beach, and I'm not talking about the beverage.

You know how to successfully handle a traffic circle.

The Jets/Giants game has started fights at your school and/or local bar

Your car is covered with yellow-green dust in April and May

You can't understand why there aren't more 24-hr diners elsewhere in the county

You live within 45 minutes of at least three different malls

Someone at the beach once called you a benny

You've seen or been in a fight between a Rangers fan and a Devils fan
You have or know someone with mafia connections too

You're related to someone who thinks the New York Jets should be called the New Jersey Jets

You have at least one friend who drives a truck

You've been camping

You've been in a town or city where Spanish is spoken more than English

You've been to a party in the woods

You've purchased fireworks in Chinatown

You liked the Jets even before this season

You know where to get a freshly cooked Taylor Ham, Egg and Cheese sandwich at 2 a.m.

You don't take shit from no one either

You remember Action Park and may have been seriously injured there

At some time you got on the wrong highway trying to get out of Willowbrook mall

Z-100 used to be your favourite radio station

Anything less than three inches of snow ain't shit

Someone cut you off on the road and you told them to go f*** themself

You think people from South Jersey talk funny

You're radioactive and proud of it.