Liberals and Conservatives ,,just funning around

Seakony · 07-27-2006

Humans existed as members of small bands of normadic hunter/gatherers. They lived on deer in the mountains during summer....and would go to the coast and live on fish and lobster in winter.

The two most important events in all of history were the invention of beer and the invention of the wheel. The wheel was invented to get man to the beer. These were the foundation of modern civilization and together were the catalyst for the splitting of humanity into two distinct subgroups:
Liberals and Conservatives.

Once beer was discovered, it required grain...and that was the beginning of agriculture. Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can were invented yet, so while our early human ancestors were sitting around waiting for them to be invented, they just stayed close to the brewery. That's how villages were formed.

Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals to B-B-Q at night...while they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of what is known as "The Conservative Movement".

Other men, who were weaker and less skilled at hunting, learned to live off the conservatives by showing up for the nightly B-B-Q's and doing the sewing, fetching and hair dressing. This was the beginning of the Liberal movement. Some of these liberal men eventually evolved into women. The rest became known as "Girliemen".

Some noteworthy liberal achievements include the domestication of cats; the invention of group therapy and group hugs; and the concept of Democratic voting to decide how to divide the meat and beer that conservatives provided.

Over the years, conservatives came to be symbolized by the largest, most powerful land animal on earth, the elephant. Liberals are symbolized by the jackass.

Modern liberals like imported beer (with lime added), but most prefer white wine or imported bottled water. They eat raw fish...but like their beef well done. Sushi, tofu, and French food are standard liberal fare.

Another interesting revolutionary side note: most of their women have higher testosterone levels than their men. Most social workers, personal injury attorneys, journalists, dreamers in Hollywood and group therapists are liberals. Liberals invented the designated hitter rule because it wasn't "fair" to make the pitcher also bat.

Conservatives drink domestic beer. They eat red meat... and still provide for their women. Conservatives are big-game hunters, rodeo cowboys, lumberjacks, construction workers, firemen, medical doctors, police officers, corporate executives, Marines, athletes...and generally anyone who works productively. Conservatives who own companies hire other conservatives who want to work for a living.

Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to "govern" the producers...and decide what to do with the production. Liberals believe Europeans are more enlightened than Americans. That is why most of the liberals remained in Europe when conservatives were coming to America. They crept in after the Wild West was tame and created a business of trying to get MORE for nothing.

Here ends today's lesson in world history:

It should be noted that a Liberal may have a momentary urge to respond to the above before simply laughing and forwarding it. A Conservative will be so convinced of the absolute truth of this history that it will be forwarded immediately.

Cosmo · 07-27-2006

Go F**k yourself...just funning around...

Seakony · 07-27-2006

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cosmo

Go F**k yourself...just funning around...

you are sooo bitter...and classless. typical response from you.

Cosmo · 07-27-2006

Maybe I should tell some fat jokes, just funning around. Nice edit...

Seakony · 07-27-2006

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cosmo

Maybe I should tell some fat jokes, just funning around. Nice edit...

Just don't respond anymore...you make yourself look like a jerk.

TAPPY · 07-27-2006

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cosmo

Go F**k yourself...just funning around...

TAPPY · 07-27-2006

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cosmo

Maybe I should tell some fat jokes, just funning around. Nice edit...

Why bring it to a personal level ? That is really mean spirited.

We ALL know political jokes are a dime a dozen on this forum

...but no need to make this personal !!!!

Cosmo · 07-27-2006

Her post was mean spirited and on a personel level, she should think before she posted that crap!

Quote:

Originally Posted by TAPPY

Why bring it to a personal level ? That is really mean spirited.

We ALL know political jokes are a dime a dozen on this forum

...but no need to make this personal !!!!

TAPPY · 07-27-2006

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cosmo

Her post was mean spirited and on a personel level, she should think before she posted that crap!

Please how lame is that ....

A political joke ...AND one that has been around for ages just like the Bush Resume and countless other politcal

that gets posted on this forum everyday.

Cosmo · 07-27-2006

O. K. Tappy I'm lame, what else ya got?

Quote:

Originally Posted by TAPPY

Please how lame is that ....

A political joke ...AND one that has been around for ages just like the Bush Resume and countless other politcal jokes that get posted on this forum everyday.

Banzoomba · 07-27-2006

Cos...you are picking on two very respected people around here.......easy up man

TAPPY · 07-27-2006

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cosmo

O. K. Tappy I'm lame, what else ya got?

Just thought that was a lame excuse for being mean to Rita.

All the political

that gets posted here is just that...no need to make it personal or be offended by it.

TAPPY · 07-27-2006

Quote:

Originally Posted by Banzoomba

Cos...you are picking on two very respected people around here.......easy up man

Kony and I are respected

....since when ??????

Cos - go tell a few tight a$$ conservative jokes and then we can all feel better ok ???

blondeandblue · 07-27-2006

Quote:

Originally Posted by TAPPY

Kony and I are respected

....since when ??????

Pretty much since forever, as far as I can tell.

Cosmo · 07-27-2006

[Renee, trans -- just thought I'd relax a bit before heading to bed and read this dialogue, so my comments below]

I found Rita's "joke" to be tasteless, defamatory and sad. She takes offense at the obvious (she is obviously obese) but has no problem with passing on defamatory remarks about those who might have beliefs that do not mirror hers in the form of a "joke." I personally take offense at the part of her joke that "liberals produce little or nothing." While I do not label myself as either liberal or conservative (I have a brain and can make educated decisions), I possess viewpoints that can be considered liberal, and yet have voted primarily for Republican candidates over the 32 years that I have had right and privilege to vote. BTW, Rita, I work (very diligently) for a living -- what productive venture do you perfom on a daily basis? Before you blatently blast any who might possess different viewpoints and /or lifestyles than yours, better take a good look in a (wide) mirror.

For the record, Cos was born in Europe (his father joined the British Navy at age 15 and fought through the duration of WWII, his mother worked in a bomb factory in England from the age of 13, and his very liberal British brother served in Viet Nam as a Marine). Further, I love cats, think group hugs are wonderful (doesn't appear that Rita has been invited to participate in many of these or she would have a better appreciation of them). Think Rita should take another pill and chill.

07-27-2006	#1 (permalink)
Seakony añejo Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: no longer in Mesquite with nothing to do Posts: 10,146	Liberals and Conservatives ,,just funning around Humans existed as members of small bands of normadic hunter/gatherers. They lived on deer in the mountains during summer....and would go to the coast and live on fish and lobster in winter. The two most important events in all of history were the invention of beer and the invention of the wheel. The wheel was invented to get man to the beer. These were the foundation of modern civilization and together were the catalyst for the splitting of humanity into two distinct subgroups: Liberals and Conservatives. Once beer was discovered, it required grain...and that was the beginning of agriculture. Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can were invented yet, so while our early human ancestors were sitting around waiting for them to be invented, they just stayed close to the brewery. That's how villages were formed. Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals to B-B-Q at night...while they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of what is known as "The Conservative Movement". Other men, who were weaker and less skilled at hunting, learned to live off the conservatives by showing up for the nightly B-B-Q's and doing the sewing, fetching and hair dressing. This was the beginning of the Liberal movement. Some of these liberal men eventually evolved into women. The rest became known as "Girliemen". Some noteworthy liberal achievements include the domestication of cats; the invention of group therapy and group hugs; and the concept of Democratic voting to decide how to divide the meat and beer that conservatives provided. Over the years, conservatives came to be symbolized by the largest, most powerful land animal on earth, the elephant. Liberals are symbolized by the jackass. Modern liberals like imported beer (with lime added), but most prefer white wine or imported bottled water. They eat raw fish...but like their beef well done. Sushi, tofu, and French food are standard liberal fare. Another interesting revolutionary side note: most of their women have higher testosterone levels than their men. Most social workers, personal injury attorneys, journalists, dreamers in Hollywood and group therapists are liberals. Liberals invented the designated hitter rule because it wasn't "fair" to make the pitcher also bat. Conservatives drink domestic beer. They eat red meat... and still provide for their women. Conservatives are big-game hunters, rodeo cowboys, lumberjacks, construction workers, firemen, medical doctors, police officers, corporate executives, Marines, athletes...and generally anyone who works productively. Conservatives who own companies hire other conservatives who want to work for a living. Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to "govern" the producers...and decide what to do with the production. Liberals believe Europeans are more enlightened than Americans. That is why most of the liberals remained in Europe when conservatives were coming to America. They crept in after the Wild West was tame and created a business of trying to get MORE for nothing. Here ends today's lesson in world history: It should be noted that a Liberal may have a momentary urge to respond to the above before simply laughing and forwarding it. A Conservative will be so convinced of the absolute truth of this history that it will be forwarded immediately. __________________ Proud to be an infidel....oh, and I'm a delinquent, deviant, criminal too.********************************************* Sue me!!!! I'm Despicable! God grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.

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07-27-2006	#2 (permalink)
Cosmo añejo Join Date: Apr 2006 Posts: 9,471	Go F**k yourself...just funning around...

07-27-2006	#4 (permalink)
Cosmo añejo Join Date: Apr 2006 Posts: 9,471	Maybe I should tell some fat jokes, just funning around. Nice edit...

07-27-2006	#11 (permalink)
Banzoomba big sexy speedo guy Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Top of the Chesapeake Bay, Md Posts: 9,273	Cos...you are picking on two very respected people around here.......easy up man

07-27-2006	#15 (permalink)
Cosmo añejo Join Date: Apr 2006 Posts: 9,471	[Renee, trans -- just thought I'd relax a bit before heading to bed and read this dialogue, so my comments below] I found Rita's "joke" to be tasteless, defamatory and sad. She takes offense at the obvious (she is obviously obese) but has no problem with passing on defamatory remarks about those who might have beliefs that do not mirror hers in the form of a "joke." I personally take offense at the part of her joke that "liberals produce little or nothing." While I do not label myself as either liberal or conservative (I have a brain and can make educated decisions), I possess viewpoints that can be considered liberal, and yet have voted primarily for Republican candidates over the 32 years that I have had right and privilege to vote. BTW, Rita, I work (very diligently) for a living -- what productive venture do you perfom on a daily basis? Before you blatently blast any who might possess different viewpoints and /or lifestyles than yours, better take a good look in a (wide) mirror. For the record, Cos was born in Europe (his father joined the British Navy at age 15 and fought through the duration of WWII, his mother worked in a bomb factory in England from the age of 13, and his very liberal British brother served in Viet Nam as a Marine). Further, I love cats, think group hugs are wonderful (doesn't appear that Rita has been invited to participate in many of these or she would have a better appreciation of them). Think Rita should take another pill and chill.

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