Clinton Resume, etc.

eccentrictinker · 07-28-2006

From my favorite media uber-Democrat, David Letterman, bless his piquant wit:

Top Ten Items On President Clinton's Resume 3-14-2000

10. 1986-89: Body Double for Pillsbury Doughboy.
9. 1973: Voted Yale Law School "Most Weaselly."
8. References available upon subpoena.
7. June 1988: Secretly married Carmen Electra.
6. Career objective: Keeping my fat ass out of prison.
5. 1997 Winner of the Golden Moonshine Jug for Outstanding Hillbilly Achievement.
4. Executive Director, American Society of Bubbas.
3. 1997: Cruller Tester, Winchell's Donuts.
2. Proud father of over 200 students at Little Rock Junior High.
1. Can lie fluently in seven languages.
====================================
Top Ten Things I've Learned From The Clinton Years 1-7-2001

10. That Hee-Haw crap's funny on TV but not in the White House
9. A White House internship provides hands-on experience
8. It's a good idea to replace the Oval Office carpets every once in a while
7. You can jog every day and still be a chunky tub
6. You can have sex without having sex, as long as while you're having sex you don't actually have sex
5. As long as the economy is good, Americans believe anything you tell them
4. Considering his taste in ladies, it's a good bet Bubba's been drunk since '92
3. Hillary looks really hot in those pantsuits
2. You can be Vice President in the most prosperous time in America, run against a dumb guy, get more votes and still lose
1. It's bent
=============================================
Top Ten Things Overheard At The Opening Of The Clinton Library 11-19-2004

10. "I'm sorry, this part of the library is strictly for 21-and-over."
9. "A library in Arkansas--well, now I've seen everything."
8. "The hours are 9 to ???"
7. "This is the first presidential library I've seen with hourly rates."
6. "He has the largest collection of adult magazines since Herbert Hoover."
5. "Don't forget to try the snack bar's impeachment cobbler."
4. "That concludes our ceremony--you're all invited to stay for ham hocks and moonshine."
3. "Damn, Bubba has a huge desk."
2. "It's the only presidential library with a ladies' night."
1. "Security to the front--Kerry is here sobbing again."

Babaloo · 07-28-2006

i'm a liberal
i'm offended
it's all lies
i's a lack of respect

now...the Bush resume...that was right on.

Just Lucky · 07-28-2006

Quote:

Originally Posted by Babaloo

i'm a liberal
i'm offended
it's all lies
i's a lack of respect

now...the Bush resume...that was right on.

You are one funny fellow!

Rissask · 07-28-2006

There...do I win a 'Good Sportsmanship from a Liberal' award or something?

I can call Iconclast or Stogey a name, if that would help.

PlayadelSoul · 07-28-2006

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rissask

There...do I win a 'Good Sportsmanship from a Liberal' award or something?

I can call Iconclast or Stogey a name, if that would help.

What am I, chopped liver?

Rissask · 07-28-2006

Quote:

Originally Posted by PlayadelSoul

What am I, chopped liver?

But any name I call YOU wouldn't be nearly as colourful!

Have fun people- be nice to eachother now, liberals and conservatives both...and you moderates too, Scott :p ....see you around August 1, I am off work for 2 weeks and off to Sayulita Tuesday morning!

PlayadelSoul · 07-28-2006

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rissask

But any name I call YOU wouldn't be nearly as colourful!

Have fun people- be nice to eachother now, liberals and conservatives both...and you moderates too, Scott :p ....see you around August 1, I am off work for 2 weeks and off to Sayulita Tuesday morning!

Enjoy!!!

**sctx** · 07-28-2006

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rissask

see you around August 1, I am off work for 2 weeks and off to Sayulita Tuesday morning!

don't drink the water and beware the aggressive natives

Dallas91 · 07-28-2006

Quote:

Originally Posted by Babaloo

i'm a liberal.

Really? With a smoking baby avatar? whooda thunk it?

Rissask · 07-28-2006

Thanks guys, and I will...and I won't....and I will.

There are Internet cafes, so I will check in on you and maybe do a little trip report...cause I know y'all (especially YOU two

) will be missing me like fire.

Seadawg · 07-28-2006

Dude, there are sick people out there...... you know just maybe Monica was there for Hillary, and Bill took the fall....

PlayadelSoul · 07-28-2006

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rissask

Thanks guys, and I will...and I won't....and I will.

There are Internet cafes, so I will check in on you and maybe do a little trip report...cause I know y'all (especially YOU two

) will be missing me like fire.

We will miss you. Without you and Stewart G on board, this forum is ripe for a takeover.

**sctx** · 07-28-2006

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dallas91

Really? With a smoking baby avatar? whooda thunk it?

oh yeah, 'Loo is a lib, I've seen pics of him slamming tequila on the street corner.....from a bottle someone else paid for

TAPPY · 07-28-2006

Quote:

Originally Posted by PlayadelSoul

We will miss you. Without you and Stewart G on board, this forum is ripe for a takeover.

I am going to miss Stewie and Riss....there wont be any good spoon material posted !!!

Have fun Riss...takes lots of pics !

Just Lucky · 07-28-2006

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rissask

But any name I call YOU wouldn't be nearly as colourful!

Have fun people- be nice to eachother now, liberals and conservatives both...and you moderates too, Scott :p ....see you around August 1, I am off work for 2 weeks and off to Sayulita Tuesday morning!

Have a great trip! What is spoon?

07-28-2006	#1 (permalink)
eccentrictinker life=playa Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Minneapolis, Minnesota Posts: 768	Clinton Resume, etc. From my favorite media uber-Democrat, David Letterman, bless his piquant wit: Top Ten Items On President Clinton's Resume 3-14-2000 10. 1986-89: Body Double for Pillsbury Doughboy. 9. 1973: Voted Yale Law School "Most Weaselly." 8. References available upon subpoena. 7. June 1988: Secretly married Carmen Electra. 6. Career objective: Keeping my fat ass out of prison. 5. 1997 Winner of the Golden Moonshine Jug for Outstanding Hillbilly Achievement. 4. Executive Director, American Society of Bubbas. 3. 1997: Cruller Tester, Winchell's Donuts. 2. Proud father of over 200 students at Little Rock Junior High. 1. Can lie fluently in seven languages. ==================================== Top Ten Things I've Learned From The Clinton Years 1-7-2001 10. That Hee-Haw crap's funny on TV but not in the White House 9. A White House internship provides hands-on experience 8. It's a good idea to replace the Oval Office carpets every once in a while 7. You can jog every day and still be a chunky tub 6. You can have sex without having sex, as long as while you're having sex you don't actually have sex 5. As long as the economy is good, Americans believe anything you tell them 4. Considering his taste in ladies, it's a good bet Bubba's been drunk since '92 3. Hillary looks really hot in those pantsuits 2. You can be Vice President in the most prosperous time in America, run against a dumb guy, get more votes and still lose 1. It's bent ============================================= Top Ten Things Overheard At The Opening Of The Clinton Library 11-19-2004 10. "I'm sorry, this part of the library is strictly for 21-and-over." 9. "A library in Arkansas--well, now I've seen everything." 8. "The hours are 9 to ???" 7. "This is the first presidential library I've seen with hourly rates." 6. "He has the largest collection of adult magazines since Herbert Hoover." 5. "Don't forget to try the snack bar's impeachment cobbler." 4. "That concludes our ceremony--you're all invited to stay for ham hocks and moonshine." 3. "Damn, Bubba has a huge desk." 2. "It's the only presidential library with a ladies' night." 1. "Security to the front--Kerry is here sobbing again."

07-28-2006	#11 (permalink)
Seadawg beachaholic Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Lakeway, TX Posts: 392	3. Hillary looks really hot in those pantsuits Dude, there are sick people out there...... you know just maybe Monica was there for Hillary, and Bill took the fall....

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07-28-2006	#2 (permalink)
Babaloo añejo Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Paamul, Q Roo Mexico Posts: 10,358	i'm a liberal i'm offended it's all lies i's a lack of respect now...the Bush resume...that was right on.

07-28-2006	#4 (permalink)
Rissask Brit basher Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: Saskatoon, Saskatchewan, Canada Posts: 18,201	There...do I win a 'Good Sportsmanship from a Liberal' award or something? I can call Iconclast or Stogey a name, if that would help.

07-28-2006	#10 (permalink)
Rissask Brit basher Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: Saskatoon, Saskatchewan, Canada Posts: 18,201	Thanks guys, and I will...and I won't....and I will. There are Internet cafes, so I will check in on you and maybe do a little trip report...cause I know y'all (especially YOU two ) will be missing me like fire.

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