You Know You're a Mom When....

**Bumper** · 07-29-2006

You're A Mom When...

You know you're a mom when...

You count the sprinkles on each kid's cupcake to make sure they're equal.
You want to take out a contract on the kid who broke your child's favourite toy and made him/her cry.
You have time to shave only one leg at a time.
You hide in the bathroom to be alone.
You child throws up, and you catch it.
Someone else's kid throws up at a party, and you keep eating.
You consider finger paint to be a controlled substance.
You mastered the art of placing large quantities of pancakes and eggs on a plate without anything touching.
Your child insists that you read Once Upon a Potty out loud in the lobby of the doctor's office, or, better yet, in the lobby of a Grand Central Station... and you do it.
You hire a sitter because you haven't been out with your husband in ages, then spend half the night talking about and checking on the kids.
You hope ketchup is a vegetable because it's the only one your child eats.
You cling to the high moral ground on toy weapons, while your child chews his toast into the shape of a gun.
You can't bear the thought of your son's first girlfriend.
You hate the thought of his wife even more.
You donate to charities in the hope that your child won't get that disease.
You find yourself cutting your husband's sandwiches into unusual shapes.
You fast-forward through the scene when the hunter shoots Bambi's mother.
You use your own saliva to clean your child's face.
You obsess when your child clings to you upon parting during his first month at school, then obsess when he skips in without looking back the second time.
You can't bear to give away baby clothes - it's so final.
You hear your mother's voice coming out of your mouth when you say, "Not in your good clothes!"
You stop criticizing the way your mother raised you.
You read that the average five year old asks 437 questions a day and feel proud that your kid is above average.
You say at least once a day, "I'm not cut out for this job", but you know you wouldn't trade it for anything in the world...

blondeandblue · 07-29-2006

Boy, isn't that the truth.

sunnygrl · 07-29-2006

So true. Been watching old "home movies" of my boys. Have been feeling rather nostalgic lately.
Thanks for the laugh.

CatskillsMom · 08-21-2006

You know you're a mom when...
You can pull a foogie out of your toddlers nose without pause... or a tissue

You can shove your finger down their throat to pull out whatever they're choking on without putting down your cup of coffee.
Now, that's a mom!!

07-29-2006	#1 (permalink)
Bumper Class Clown Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Winnipeg, Canada Posts: 9,513	You Know You're a Mom When.... You're A Mom When... You know you're a mom when... You count the sprinkles on each kid's cupcake to make sure they're equal. You want to take out a contract on the kid who broke your child's favourite toy and made him/her cry. You have time to shave only one leg at a time. You hide in the bathroom to be alone. You child throws up, and you catch it. Someone else's kid throws up at a party, and you keep eating. You consider finger paint to be a controlled substance. You mastered the art of placing large quantities of pancakes and eggs on a plate without anything touching. Your child insists that you read Once Upon a Potty out loud in the lobby of the doctor's office, or, better yet, in the lobby of a Grand Central Station... and you do it. You hire a sitter because you haven't been out with your husband in ages, then spend half the night talking about and checking on the kids. You hope ketchup is a vegetable because it's the only one your child eats. You cling to the high moral ground on toy weapons, while your child chews his toast into the shape of a gun. You can't bear the thought of your son's first girlfriend. You hate the thought of his wife even more. You donate to charities in the hope that your child won't get that disease. You find yourself cutting your husband's sandwiches into unusual shapes. You fast-forward through the scene when the hunter shoots Bambi's mother. You use your own saliva to clean your child's face. You obsess when your child clings to you upon parting during his first month at school, then obsess when he skips in without looking back the second time. You can't bear to give away baby clothes - it's so final. You hear your mother's voice coming out of your mouth when you say, "Not in your good clothes!" You stop criticizing the way your mother raised you. You read that the average five year old asks 437 questions a day and feel proud that your kid is above average. You say at least once a day, "I'm not cut out for this job", but you know you wouldn't trade it for anything in the world... __________________ Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a pristine, well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally used up and worn out, shouting "Holy Shit...what a ride!!"

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07-29-2006	#2 (permalink)
blondeandblue reposado Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Sunland, California Posts: 1,101	Boy, isn't that the truth.

07-29-2006	#3 (permalink)
sunnygrl añejo Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: southern US Posts: 1,519	So true. Been watching old "home movies" of my boys. Have been feeling rather nostalgic lately. Thanks for the laugh.

08-21-2006	#4 (permalink)
CatskillsMom añejo Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Upstate NY Posts: 1,956	You know you're a mom when... You can pull a foogie out of your toddlers nose without pause... or a tissue You can shove your finger down their throat to pull out whatever they're choking on without putting down your cup of coffee. Now, that's a mom!!

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