Stogey needs some advice

STOGEY · 08-21-2006

It seems that my girlfriends 14 year old granddaughter is going to live with us for a while. This is the one that some of you met while we were at mamitas beach.

How does a guy my age go from being just a kid himself to trying to be a good example to a 14 year old over night? I've known this person almost 10 years now,and she stayed with us from time to time during vacations and what not, but now I think that this may be for the long haul.

I'm happy about this, because I think that we'll definetely give her a better home to stay at then the one that she left. She is a great kid, and she does deserve a break.

RonH · 08-21-2006

Well Stogey.. as a long time lurker, who enjoys reading all the threads about world/current events, and all the opinions, I think once in awhile you should let her read some of the threads. She might enjoy the rants of the left and the right,

(plus she might learn a little). I think you guys will do ok.

TAPPY · 08-21-2006

You do your best and your figure it out as you go along and give them lots of love. When you make mistakes apologize.

But she is going to be watching you like a hawk so you better shape up !! (j/k)

I have no doubts Softy will keep BOTH of you in line.

Cosmo · 08-21-2006

I think it's a great idea , she can help you with your spelling...:p

STOGEY · 08-21-2006

She's already made a interesting observation about me. A couple of weeks ago we came back from an outing with softy's edlest son. She and softy were having a discussion and the grandaughter said you know stogey you sit there watching the tv, pretending to be just watching but, your also listening to everything that we say. Even though you pretend just to be watching the tv.

PS. softy knows who the boss really is though.

Kellyk · 08-21-2006

Well Stogey, you seem to honestly care about this girl and your interested enough in her welfare to ask and be concerned...I'd say that's a great start. Let her know that.

She's 14...be careful what you say to her about her looks or about women is general...at 14 we internalize a lot. For example...It's possible that you could be making a comment about how thin or how fat someone on TV is and she can turn that into "I need to be or not be like that to be a valued person". I know it sounds crazy...we're a neurotic bunch at times but she's very impressionable right now and with changing her home life...even more so. Give her space when she needs it but keep an eye on her too. You'll do just fine. Good luck.

Skiptown · 08-21-2006

Don't make an issue over the small stuff (and most of it is small stuff). Pick the battles that are life important. Believe it or not young people like clear boundaries. You have a wonderful chance to help someone become a good responsible adult. Most of all remember that both you and she will make mistakes, it's how you both deal with them that is important. Our 14 year old is now a 24 year old and I could not be more proud of her if I tried.

birdman · 08-21-2006

Just be you Stogey. She will learn what she needs to know in good fashion. Good luck, at least a part of our future now lies in your hands.

Sukidog · 08-21-2006

Quote:

Originally Posted by STOGEY

She's already made a interesting observation about me. A couple of weeks ago we came back from an outing with softy's edlest son. She and softy were having a discussion and the grandaughter said you know stogey you sit there watching the tv, pretending to be just watching but, your also listening to everything that we say. Even though you pretend just to be watching the tv.

PS. softy knows who the boss really is though.

I think she already has your number Stogey.

James A. · 08-22-2006

Don't squander this opportunity to help instill those qualities into this young woman that will help her become an excellent wife.

stevo137 · 08-22-2006

Stogey, looks like this is a good situation for all of you. Our daughter is going on 14 and is an outstanding child. She brings much joy to our lives and I'm sure the same will go for you.
This reminds me of one of my favorite sayings. It is below in my signature.

emc · 08-22-2006

Quote:

Originally Posted by James A.

Don't squander this opportunity to help instill those qualities into this young woman that will help her become an excellent wife.

James A. · 08-22-2006

Quote:

Originally Posted by emc

Hey, behind every great man should be an excellent wife.

WornOutTire · 08-22-2006

Stogey,

I wish you much better luck than I had. My daughter is now 22 and has done things her way since 14. Usually doing everything opposite of what we tried to instill in her. She is just now figuring out that what we were trying to get across to her then, was NOT so stupid.

Fred

STOGEY · 08-22-2006

I do think that the three of us will come out of this pretty good. Specially me I haven't had the opportunity to raise a kid until now. One of the many good things about having a kid appear at your door when she's 14 is that I won't have to change any diapers. And in 7 years she'll be able to buy me a beer legally.

08-21-2006	#1 (permalink)
STOGEY Allah Akhbar Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: salisbury, mass. Posts: 6,739	Stogey needs some advice It seems that my girlfriends 14 year old granddaughter is going to live with us for a while. This is the one that some of you met while we were at mamitas beach. How does a guy my age go from being just a kid himself to trying to be a good example to a 14 year old over night? I've known this person almost 10 years now,and she stayed with us from time to time during vacations and what not, but now I think that this may be for the long haul. I'm happy about this, because I think that we'll definetely give her a better home to stay at then the one that she left. She is a great kid, and she does deserve a break.

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08-21-2006	#2 (permalink)
RonH reposado Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: INDY Posts: 1,029	Well Stogey.. as a long time lurker, who enjoys reading all the threads about world/current events, and all the opinions, I think once in awhile you should let her read some of the threads. She might enjoy the rants of the left and the right, (plus she might learn a little). I think you guys will do ok.

08-21-2006	#3 (permalink)
TAPPY añejo Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Louisiana Posts: 15,119	You do your best and your figure it out as you go along and give them lots of love. When you make mistakes apologize. But she is going to be watching you like a hawk so you better shape up !! (j/k) I have no doubts Softy will keep BOTH of you in line.

08-21-2006	#4 (permalink)
Cosmo añejo Join Date: Apr 2006 Posts: 9,471	I think it's a great idea , she can help you with your spelling...:p

08-21-2006	#5 (permalink)
STOGEY Allah Akhbar Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: salisbury, mass. Posts: 6,739	She's already made a interesting observation about me. A couple of weeks ago we came back from an outing with softy's edlest son. She and softy were having a discussion and the grandaughter said you know stogey you sit there watching the tv, pretending to be just watching but, your also listening to everything that we say. Even though you pretend just to be watching the tv. PS. softy knows who the boss really is though.

08-21-2006	#6 (permalink)
Kellyk añejo Join Date: May 2005 Location: Dallas,TX Posts: 5,711	Well Stogey, you seem to honestly care about this girl and your interested enough in her welfare to ask and be concerned...I'd say that's a great start. Let her know that. She's 14...be careful what you say to her about her looks or about women is general...at 14 we internalize a lot. For example...It's possible that you could be making a comment about how thin or how fat someone on TV is and she can turn that into "I need to be or not be like that to be a valued person". I know it sounds crazy...we're a neurotic bunch at times but she's very impressionable right now and with changing her home life...even more so. Give her space when she needs it but keep an eye on her too. You'll do just fine. Good luck.

08-21-2006	#7 (permalink)
Skiptown reposado Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Where the Columbia and Snake Meet Posts: 1,478	Don't make an issue over the small stuff (and most of it is small stuff). Pick the battles that are life important. Believe it or not young people like clear boundaries. You have a wonderful chance to help someone become a good responsible adult. Most of all remember that both you and she will make mistakes, it's how you both deal with them that is important. Our 14 year old is now a 24 year old and I could not be more proud of her if I tried.

08-21-2006	#8 (permalink)
birdman añejo Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: Wa state Posts: 1,677	Just be you Stogey. She will learn what she needs to know in good fashion. Good luck, at least a part of our future now lies in your hands.

08-22-2006	#10 (permalink)
James A. sandbagger vidiot Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Bell Buckle, TN Posts: 2,374	Don't squander this opportunity to help instill those qualities into this young woman that will help her become an excellent wife.

08-22-2006	#11 (permalink)
stevo137 life=playa Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Near Chicago Posts: 805	Stogey, looks like this is a good situation for all of you. Our daughter is going on 14 and is an outstanding child. She brings much joy to our lives and I'm sure the same will go for you. This reminds me of one of my favorite sayings. It is below in my signature.

08-22-2006	#14 (permalink)
WornOutTire añejo Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Live in NE Georgia/Work in SC Posts: 1,922	Stogey, I wish you much better luck than I had. My daughter is now 22 and has done things her way since 14. Usually doing everything opposite of what we tried to instill in her. She is just now figuring out that what we were trying to get across to her then, was NOT so stupid. Fred

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08-22-2006	#15 (permalink)
STOGEY Allah Akhbar Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: salisbury, mass. Posts: 6,739	I do think that the three of us will come out of this pretty good. Specially me I haven't had the opportunity to raise a kid until now. One of the many good things about having a kid appear at your door when she's 14 is that I won't have to change any diapers. And in 7 years she'll be able to buy me a beer legally.