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Old 10-17-2006   #1 (permalink)
Bumper
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Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Winnipeg, Canada
Posts: 9,513
Talking Staffing Letter

Jesus, Son of Joseph
Woodcrafter's Carpenter Shop
Nazareth 25922

Dear Sir;

Thank you for submitting the resumes of the twelve men who are currently under consideration for management positions in your new organization. The nominees have now completed our comprehensive program of testing and evaluation. We have not only processed the resulting data through our computer, but each of the candidates has participated in personal interviews with our panel of psychologists and vocational aptitude consultants.

The annotated profiles of all the studies are included, and you will want to study them carefully.

As part of our service, and for your guidance, we will make some generic observations, much as a financial auditor would submit a general overview of his findings. We are pleased to provide this commentary as a result of staff consultation, without additional charge.

It is the generally held opinion of our staff that the majority of your nominees are lacking in the background, education, and vocational aptitude to contribute in a significant manner to the enterprise you intend to undertake. Almost without exception, they fail to grasp the team concept. We would recommend that you continue your search for applicants with demonstrated managerial ability and proven capability.

Simon Peter is emotionally unstable and given to fits of uncontrolled temper. Andrew is devoid of any qualities of leadership. The two brothers, James and John, the sons of Zebedee, place personal interests above loyalty to the organization. Thomas demonstrates an unreasoned questioning attitude that will inevitably undermine the group's morale. We feel it our duty to advise you that Matthew has been blacklisted by the Greater Jerusalem Better Business Bureau. James and Thaddaeus have each exhibited radical leanings, and have both registered in the upper quartile of the manic-depressive measurement scale.

One of the candidates, however, shows great potential. He is a man of prominent ability and resourcefulness, has excellent inter-personal skills, possesses a keen business mind and has developed a well-established network of contacts in elevated positions. He is highly motivated, ambitious, and assumes responsibility eagerly. We recommend Judas Iscariot be considered to take on the position of controller and become your right-hand man. All of the other profiles are self-explanatory.

We wish you every success in your new venture.


Sincerely yours;

Jordan Management Consultants
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