Christmas Controversy

[Bumper]

CHRISTMAS CONTROVERSY

Raging Controversy: Should the tree be real or artificial?
Politically Correct Solution: Live tree, replanted after use.
Politically Incorrect Solution: Artificial tree, discarded after use.
Christmas Ideal: Grow tree in house, adorned with natural fruits.
Christmas Reality: Fake tree stays up until May 31, adorned with fur balls.

Raging Controversy: Should tree lights twinkle or stay constant?
Politically Correct Solution: Each bulb blinks to its own chosen rhythm.
Politically Incorrect Solution: Bulbs flash logo of tree's corporate sponsor.
Christmas Ideal: Elegant flickering candles.
Christmas Reality: Elegant smouldering cigarettes. Tree bursts into flames, house burns down.

Raging Controversy: Should tree be topped with an angel or a star?
Politically Correct Solution: Gender-neutral angel quashes submissive female stereotype.
Politically Incorrect Solution: Blond angel, kneeling, in Hooter's T-Shirt.
Christmas Ideal: Authentic angel swoops in from Heaven, saves lives.
Christmas Reality: Hell's Angel stops in for dinner, drinks beer.

Raging Controversy: Do you fling tinsel randomly, or hang each piece individually?
Politically Correct Solution: Fling, empowering each strand with liberating self-determination.
Politically Incorrect Solution: Hang ‘em. Now!
Christmas Ideal: Each individual piece hangs like a strand of spaghetti.
Christmas Reality: Each piece hangs next to actual strands of spaghetti.

Raging Controversy: Do you open gifts Christmas morning, or Christmas Eve?
Politically Correct Solution: Gifts to be opened according to each individual's preference.
Politically Incorrect Solution: Do it Christmas Eve, so it can all be out of the way in time to enjoy Jerry Springer's "Mommy Kissing A Man in a Santa Suit" TV special.
Christmas Ideal: "Mommy, Daddy, get up, it's Christmas!"
Christmas Reality: "Mommy, Daddy, get up, it's Christmas!"

[TAPPY]

Originally Posted by Bumper

CHRISTMAS CONTROVERSY

Raging Controversy: Should the tree be real or artificial?
Politically Correct Solution: Live tree, replanted after use.
Politically Incorrect Solution: Artificial tree, discarded after use.
Christmas Ideal: Grow tree in house, adorned with natural fruits.
Christmas Reality: Fake tree stays up until May 31, adorned with fur balls.

Raging Controversy: Should tree lights twinkle or stay constant?
Politically Correct Solution: Each bulb blinks to its own chosen rhythm.
Politically Incorrect Solution: Bulbs flash logo of tree's corporate sponsor.
Christmas Ideal: Elegant flickering candles.
Christmas Reality: Elegant smouldering cigarettes. Tree bursts into flames, house burns down.

Raging Controversy: Should tree be topped with an angel or a star?
Politically Correct Solution: Gender-neutral angel quashes submissive female stereotype.
Politically Incorrect Solution: Blond angel, kneeling, in Hooter's T-Shirt.
Christmas Ideal: Authentic angel swoops in from Heaven, saves lives.
Christmas Reality: Hell's Angel stops in for dinner, drinks beer.

Raging Controversy: Do you fling tinsel randomly, or hang each piece individually?
Politically Correct Solution: Fling, empowering each strand with liberating self-determination.
Politically Incorrect Solution: Hang ‘em. Now!
Christmas Ideal: Each individual piece hangs like a strand of spaghetti.
Christmas Reality: Each piece hangs next to actual strands of spaghetti.

Raging Controversy: Do you open gifts Christmas morning, or Christmas Eve?
Politically Correct Solution: Gifts to be opened according to each individual's preference.
Politically Incorrect Solution: Do it Christmas Eve, so it can all be out of the way in time to enjoy Jerry Springer's "Mommy Kissing A Man in a Santa Suit" TV special.
Christmas Ideal: "Mommy, Daddy, get up, it's Christmas!"
Christmas Reality: "Mommy, Daddy, get up, it's Christmas!"

Thanks Bump for the reminder !!!