Too Much Holiday Cheer

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You Know You've Had Too Much Holiday Cheer When...

• You notice your tie sticking out of your fly.

• Someone uses your tongue as a coaster.

• You start kissing the portraits on the wall.

• You recognize the underwear hanging from the chandelier as yours.

• You have to hold on to the floor to keep from sliding off.

• You strike a match and light your nose.

• You take off your shoes and wade in the potato salad.

• You hear someone yell, "Call a priest!"

• You complain about the small bathroom, as you emerge from the closet.

• You refill your glass from the aquarium.

• You hear a duck quacking and realize it's you.

• You tell everybody you have to go home...and the party is at your place.

• You ask for another ice cube and put it in your pocket.

• You yawn in the face of the biggest bore in the room...and realize you're in front of a mirror.

• You pick up a bun, and butter your watch.

• You suggest everybody stand and sing the national budget.

• You're at the dinner table and ask the hostess to pass a bedpan.

• You take out your handkerchief and blow your ear.

• You tell your best joke to the rubber plant.

• You discover you're the only one under the coffee table.