internet dating?

ele · 12-16-2006

hi all!
i am just looking for some advice on internet dating. my mom is bored and mentioned something to me about setting up an account for her. i dont know where to begin since some of it seems a little fishy to me.
i know there are good 'meeting people' sites out there. does anyone have any suggestions as to what they are? she is over 50.
thanks for any help.

CaroleLB · 12-16-2006

For a few months I became a serial dater through Match.com but found I was meeting the same type of man... the type not quite ready for dating (ex-wife issues), or lacking in social skills.

It's not too "fishy" but requires a lot of pre-screening. When I'd finally get to the point where I'd want to meet a man I'd do it for a cocktail in a neutral zone and always have someone make a "safety" call to me about 1.5 hours into the meeting. This way I could either say I had to run and pick up a friend or tell my friend that it was going well.

I'd never have them pick me up or drop me off at home.

I know several people these sites worked for. Used with common sense your mom should have no problems. It's good for grins and giggles.

ele · 12-16-2006

thanks for the lead!

cuffedlinks · 12-16-2006

Quote:

Originally Posted by CaroleLB

....I'd do it for a cocktail...

Hell, C-Lo...

I'd even buy you TWO!

CaroleLB · 12-16-2006

Quote:

Originally Posted by cuffedlinks

Hell, C-Lo...

I'd even buy you TWO!

You're such a doll - too bad I don't go out with married men any more or any less

ele... one other thing - I found eHarmony to be a rip off - a bait-and-switch thing. They had all these "matches" and correspondents for me before I subscribed and as soon as I paid for a subscription it all dropped dead.

**Susie Q Roo** · 12-16-2006

I recommend it, as long as she looks at it as just a fun diversion and not the path to true love. Don't ever give out personal info (name, address, employer, etc) until you've met someone in person at least once and trust them. I always liked meeting for lunch, because lunch has a legitmate end - back to work, pick up the kids from school, whatever. I grew to distrust those who wanted to "get to know you well before we meet" because most had something to hide (usually a wife, kids, disease, lies of some sort) or ulterior motives or were just plain cowards. I have great friends (still) that I met on internet dating sites. I'd tell her to go for it and enjoy the attention!

Oh, and I preferred matchmaker.com over match.com because it's more private.

himynameisjan · 12-16-2006

well, I don't date anymore. Hubby Erik won't let me, he is so strict! But, I have three friends who do internet dating. Two of the three have been very successful. Both on Match.com. Just remember to be safe and have fun with it!

MikeW · 12-16-2006

Quote:

Originally Posted by CaroleLB

ele... one other thing - I found eHarmony to be a rip off - a bait-and-switch thing. They had all these "matches" and correspondents for me before I subscribed and as soon as I paid for a subscription it all dropped dead.

Was eH's customer service department any help? I know the company works day and night to improve their matching algorithms.

CaroleLB · 12-16-2006

Quote:

Originally Posted by MikeW

Was eH's customer service department any help? I know the company works day and night to improve their matching algorithms.

Not at all, Mike. When I made my first complaint I received a boilerplate response. When I made the second complaint and requested that my profile be pulled from their database I received no response at all.

Hence, why I felt it was a bait-and-switch thing.

TAPPY · 12-16-2006

My sister in law swears by it. (I think she uses all of them

except Eharmony, which she thinks is a load of crap to CaroleB)

She said you have to look at it all in fun - and just as a way to meet friends. She did say that many of the men tend to be married or have "issues" !!!

(ha - like she dosent

)

I think she finds it really hard to meet men her age (early 50's) - she is really not into the whole bar thing...so this is a good way for her to meet some friends.

**Susie Q Roo** · 12-16-2006

Re: E-Harmony... I was on it for a brief time but was frustrated with the "matches" they kept sending me. I had been used to dating younger, and they kept pairing me with guys 7 -15 years older

, based on their "studies that show women of your age prefer older men." Um... maybe you should have asked me? Anyway, I complained and they refunded my money, so I was satisfied.

TAPPY · 12-16-2006

I heard some of the girls I work with laughing and standing around the computer a few months ago, so I went to check out what they were laughing at...another male co-worker had posted a profile on one of these sites and had posted some pics of himself in a ""provocative" pose !!!

pamplemoose77 · 12-16-2006

i had great luck w/ internet dating... i went out with literally hundreds of guys... i figured what the heck, i wasn't paying! i was on match.com and lavalife... seems like one other, but i can't remember.

like a few people have mentioned... use some common sense with it, and you should be fine.. always meet in public places.. no addresses/ personal info, etc... I also think it may depend on what you're "looking for"... i was just looking for some free food and good company.. i was not looking to get married or for anything serious... but then lo and behold, 1 yr or so after matt and i met on Lavalife, we were engaged!

we still can't believe it somedays! but, what i was trying to say is, if you go into it looking for "the ONE" then you're likely to get frustrated and be disappointed... if you go into it looking to meet some fun people and get out of the house, then it'll work GREAT!

**Susie Q Roo** · 12-16-2006

Quote:

Originally Posted by pamplemoose77

i had great luck w/ internet dating... i went out with literally hundreds of guys... i figured what the heck, i wasn't paying! i was on match.com and lavalife... seems like one other, but i can't remember.

like a few people have mentioned... use some common sense with it, and you should be fine.. always meet in public places.. no addresses/ personal info, etc... I also think it may depend on what you're "looking for"... i was just looking for some free food and good company.. i was not looking to get married or for anything serious... but then lo and behold, 1 yr or so after matt and i met on Lavalife, we were engaged!

we still can't believe it somedays! but, what i was trying to say is, if you go into it looking for "the ONE" then you're likely to get frustrated and be disappointed... if you go into it looking to meet some fun people and get out of the house, then it'll work GREAT!

My experience exactly (however I usually try to leave the word "hundreds" out of it!

).

playabum17 · 12-16-2006

I've had my profile on a couple of sites in the past, I personally was not impressed. It seem like every time I had someone 'interested' they looked like they had been recently released from a mental institution.

I didn't get a lot of good results from it, then again I didn't put a lot of effort into it.

12-16-2006	#1 (permalink)
ele way into it Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: pdc Posts: 154	internet dating? hi all! i am just looking for some advice on internet dating. my mom is bored and mentioned something to me about setting up an account for her. i dont know where to begin since some of it seems a little fishy to me. i know there are good 'meeting people' sites out there. does anyone have any suggestions as to what they are? she is over 50. thanks for any help.

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12-16-2006	#2 (permalink)
CaroleLB Go Cougars! Join Date: May 2003 Location: New Jersey Posts: 3,945	For a few months I became a serial dater through Match.com but found I was meeting the same type of man... the type not quite ready for dating (ex-wife issues), or lacking in social skills. It's not too "fishy" but requires a lot of pre-screening. When I'd finally get to the point where I'd want to meet a man I'd do it for a cocktail in a neutral zone and always have someone make a "safety" call to me about 1.5 hours into the meeting. This way I could either say I had to run and pick up a friend or tell my friend that it was going well. I'd never have them pick me up or drop me off at home. I know several people these sites worked for. Used with common sense your mom should have no problems. It's good for grins and giggles.

12-16-2006	#3 (permalink)
ele way into it Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: pdc Posts: 154	thanks for the lead!

12-16-2006	#6 (permalink)
Susie Q Roo paradisiac Join Date: May 2003 Location: Q Roo Posts: 10,520	I recommend it, as long as she looks at it as just a fun diversion and not the path to true love. Don't ever give out personal info (name, address, employer, etc) until you've met someone in person at least once and trust them. I always liked meeting for lunch, because lunch has a legitmate end - back to work, pick up the kids from school, whatever. I grew to distrust those who wanted to "get to know you well before we meet" because most had something to hide (usually a wife, kids, disease, lies of some sort) or ulterior motives or were just plain cowards. I have great friends (still) that I met on internet dating sites. I'd tell her to go for it and enjoy the attention! Oh, and I preferred matchmaker.com over match.com because it's more private.

12-16-2006	#7 (permalink)
himynameisjan reposado Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Mankato, Minnesota Posts: 1,396	well, I don't date anymore. Hubby Erik won't let me, he is so strict! But, I have three friends who do internet dating. Two of the three have been very successful. Both on Match.com. Just remember to be safe and have fun with it!

12-16-2006	#10 (permalink)
TAPPY añejo Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Louisiana Posts: 14,931	My sister in law swears by it. (I think she uses all of them except Eharmony, which she thinks is a load of crap to CaroleB) She said you have to look at it all in fun - and just as a way to meet friends. She did say that many of the men tend to be married or have "issues" !!! (ha - like she dosent ) I think she finds it really hard to meet men her age (early 50's) - she is really not into the whole bar thing...so this is a good way for her to meet some friends.

12-16-2006	#11 (permalink)
Susie Q Roo paradisiac Join Date: May 2003 Location: Q Roo Posts: 10,520	Re: E-Harmony... I was on it for a brief time but was frustrated with the "matches" they kept sending me. I had been used to dating younger, and they kept pairing me with guys 7 -15 years older , based on their "studies that show women of your age prefer older men." Um... maybe you should have asked me? Anyway, I complained and they refunded my money, so I was satisfied.

12-16-2006	#12 (permalink)
TAPPY añejo Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Louisiana Posts: 14,931	I heard some of the girls I work with laughing and standing around the computer a few months ago, so I went to check out what they were laughing at...another male co-worker had posted a profile on one of these sites and had posted some pics of himself in a ""provocative" pose !!!

12-16-2006	#13 (permalink)
pamplemoose77 añejo Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: dallas - kinda, tx Posts: 9,535	i had great luck w/ internet dating... i went out with literally hundreds of guys... i figured what the heck, i wasn't paying! i was on match.com and lavalife... seems like one other, but i can't remember. like a few people have mentioned... use some common sense with it, and you should be fine.. always meet in public places.. no addresses/ personal info, etc... I also think it may depend on what you're "looking for"... i was just looking for some free food and good company.. i was not looking to get married or for anything serious... but then lo and behold, 1 yr or so after matt and i met on Lavalife, we were engaged! we still can't believe it somedays! but, what i was trying to say is, if you go into it looking for "the ONE" then you're likely to get frustrated and be disappointed... if you go into it looking to meet some fun people and get out of the house, then it'll work GREAT!

12-16-2006	#15 (permalink)
playabum17 naughtiest chica Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: My body may be in Minnesota, but my brain is in Playa! Posts: 15,455	I've had my profile on a couple of sites in the past, I personally was not impressed. It seem like every time I had someone 'interested' they looked like they had been recently released from a mental institution. I didn't get a lot of good results from it, then again I didn't put a lot of effort into it.

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