Carole's Griswoldian Xmas...

CaroleLB · 12-17-2006

Clark: We're kicking off our fun old fashion family Christmas by heading out into the country in the old front-wheel drive sleigh to embrace the frosty majesty of the winter landscape and select that most important of Christmas symbols.
Audrey: We're not coming all the way out here just to get one of those stupid ties with Santa Clauses on it are we?
Clark: No, I have one of those at home.

So, last year I bought my very first artificial tree because I'm tired of lugging around a big, heavy, sappy, fresh tree and trying to level it out in the humongoid stand then having to sweep up needles all year long then lugging it back out to the trash, all sappy, dragging needles all over the place (oh, I digressed) ... So I went out to Target and got one of those pre-lamped, "easy," snap together 3-piecers that's really quite cute.

Todd: Hey Griswold. Where do you think you're gonna put a tree that big?
Clark: Bend over and I'll show you.
Todd: You've got a lot of nerve talking to me like that Griswold.
Clark: I wasn't talking to you.

Welllll... looks as if I didn't keep the instructions - who needs'em when it soooooooo easy to do

Okay, so I test each section before snapping it together... cool, it lights up. Then I snap it together... It's a snap. Then I plug each strand of lights into it's proper receiving end: malefemalemalefemale, etc. Then plug it into the wall... waiiiiiit a minute - there's no male end to plug into an outlet

unplug, replug leaving a male end - nuthin', nada, zip

Clark: Where do you think you're going? Nobody's leaving. Nobody's walking out on this fun, old-fashioned family Christmas. No, no. We're all in this together. This is a full-blown, four-alarm holiday emergency here. We're gonna press on, and we're gonna have the hap, hap, happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny f*cking Kaye. And when Santa squeezes his fat white a$$ down that chimney tonight, he's gonna find the jolliest bunch of a$$holes this side of the nuthouse.

So, back out to the shed I go to get the big box of lights... the kind that work . I'm dusty, I'm all pricked up by artificial pine needles, the cat is walking in and out of the lights criscrossing the floor and I lost half a day to the stoooopid frikkin tree. My kiddo walks in the door, walks to the tree... plugplugplug... It lights up

Hallelujah. Holy sh*t. Where's the Tylenol?

It's time for a Bloody Mary.

**sctx** · 12-17-2006

cuffedlinks · 12-17-2006

That's a great story! TOO true....

traci · 12-17-2006

I think you must secretly be living in our house

CaroleLB · 12-17-2006

Success! for which I take no credit... it's obvious I needed someone born after 1980 to complete a simple task

I like this shot - it's almost artistic - a few more of my trees - the little aluminum one is my "travel" tree - it accompanies me everywhere I go. Notice the reflection of the big tree in my "Sopranos" mirrors.

I don't theme... I tacky!

TAPPY · 12-17-2006

You crack me up sweetie....

The Target Tree looks very nice btw !!!!

And fix me one of those Bloody Marys....
OH and Merry Freaking Christmas (that is what Gracie keeps on telling me)

pamplemoose77 · 12-17-2006

love it! i want an aluminum tree soooooo badly, but i haven't convinced anyone else yet that it's a good idea

your daughter is beautiful!!! is that Ayla? or do you have more than one daughter?

CaroleLB · 12-17-2006

Quote:

Originally Posted by pamplemoose77

love it! i want an aluminum tree soooooo badly, but i haven't convinced anyone else yet that it's a good idea

your daughter is beautiful!!! is that Ayla? or do you have more than one daughter?

Yes, that's Ayla and thank you!

I've got two aluminum tinsel trees but not the good ones from back in the day - they're costing a fortune on eBay. Every year Ayla adds a new tree to my collection - this year is the feather one from Target. As of now I've got 7 trees (from 12" to 7') up in one room not counting the decorated ficus.

Yes, I like tacky

Sukidog · 12-17-2006

Sometimes tacky is good.

Beachnutt719 · 12-17-2006

I think everything looks great Carole. I don't theme either. I have 2 huge tubs of ornaments, some going back to my grandmother and some things the kids made in kindergarten(20+ years ago). I just start pulling them out and throwing them on the tree, when it's full then I am done.

And Tappy, I can just not imagine the work "freaking" coming out of sweet, adorable Gracie.

TAPPY · 12-17-2006

Quote:

Originally Posted by Beachnutt719

I think everything looks great Carole. I don't theme either. I have 2 huge tubs of ornaments, some going back to my grandmother and some things the kids made in kindergarten(20+ years ago). I just start pulling them out and throwing them on the tree, when it's full then I am done.

And Tappy, I can just not imagine the work "freaking" coming out of sweet, adorable Gracie.

ha !

She says that to me when I get cranky pants about Christmas !!!

**TeeZet** · 12-17-2006

And it isn't even Christmas yet!

I bet there's gonna be more bloody mary's on the way...
Cheers, Carole!
And a Merry Christmas!

Loree · 12-17-2006

Carole

you are too funny
the trees look great!!!

Doggiemom · 12-17-2006

Carole......you too funny!!!!!!

Great tree BTW, a lot more than I have..which is squat!

silvergirl · 12-17-2006

Damn lights!

They can drive you nuts! My dh used to light up the whole outside of the house and bushes in the frigid freezing weather and stand back admiring it and then a set would be out. He'd replace it and the next day, another would go out. I think our lights were being sabotaged! Needless to say, we no longer light the outside of the house.
We used to get a real tree but nobody ever told us you had to let it settle overnight and let the branches fall before you start decorating it!

I never knew you had to tighten the stand periodically, either. You know, for when the trunk gets mushy....(who knows this???)

We had just completed a major renovation/rebuild of our house and were having a Christmas/housewarming party. As our guests came in, we took their coats and all brought our first drinks over to admire the beautiful and very large and very heavily decorated tree

. As we stood in front of it, it just starting leaning forward ever so slowly....like in slow motion........I thought I was seeing things, but only was on my first drink.... before we realized what was happening, the damn thing came crashing down at our feet!

Broken glass ornaments everywhere!

The girls got on our hands and knees picking up whatever we could while the guys tried to salvage the tree. We ended up tying it to the wall with fishing line to make sure it stayed! When we got up from the floor, we all had big wet stains on our pants from the tree water that spilled.

Welcome to our new home!!!

Our poor friends. They were such good sports. They felt so bad for us and I was horrified!

There were many drinks consumed that night!

We've got one of those pre-lit trees now.
I say it's much easier to just go away for the holidays!

12-17-2006	#1 (permalink)
CaroleLB Go Cougars! Join Date: May 2003 Location: New Jersey Posts: 3,945	Carole's Griswoldian Xmas... *Clark:* We're kicking off our fun old fashion family Christmas by heading out into the country in the old front-wheel drive sleigh to embrace the frosty majesty of the winter landscape and select that most important of Christmas symbols. *Audrey:* We're not coming all the way out here just to get one of those stupid ties with Santa Clauses on it are we? *Clark:* No, I have one of those at home. So, last year I bought my very first artificial tree because I'm tired of lugging around a big, heavy, sappy, fresh tree and trying to level it out in the humongoid stand then having to sweep up needles all year long then lugging it back out to the trash, all sappy, dragging needles all over the place (oh, I digressed) ... So I went out to Target and got one of those pre-lamped, "easy," snap together 3-piecers that's really quite cute. Todd: Hey Griswold. Where do you think you're gonna put a tree that big? Clark: Bend over and I'll show you. Todd: You've got a lot of nerve talking to me like that Griswold. Clark: I wasn't talking to you. Welllll... looks as if I didn't keep the instructions - who needs'em when it soooooooo easy to do Okay, so I test each section before snapping it together... cool, it lights up. Then I snap it together... It's a snap. Then I plug each strand of lights into it's proper receiving end: malefemalemalefemale, etc. Then plug it into the wall... waiiiiiit a minute - there's no male end to plug into an outlet unplug, replug leaving a male end - nuthin', nada, zip Clark: Where do you think you're going? Nobody's leaving. Nobody's walking out on this fun, old-fashioned family Christmas. No, no. We're all in this together. This is a full-blown, four-alarm holiday emergency here. We're gonna press on, and we're gonna have the hap, hap, happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny fcking Kaye. And when Santa squeezes his fat white a$$ down that chimney tonight, he's gonna find the jolliest bunch of a$$holes this side of the nuthouse. So, back out to the shed I go to get the big box of lights... the kind that work* . I'm dusty, I'm all pricked up by artificial pine needles, the cat is walking in and out of the lights criscrossing the floor and I lost half a day to the stoooopid frikkin tree. My kiddo walks in the door, walks to the tree... plugplugplug... It lights up **Hallelujah. Holy sht. Where's the Tylenol?* It's time for a Bloody Mary. __________________ Bien dans ma peau** I don't know if I'm untamed or if I just have a fear of being ridden. -- BEK The future you have tomorrow won't be the same future you had yesterday. -- Buster "Rant" Casey

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12-17-2006	#2 (permalink)
sctx Moniker Morpher Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Body in San Marcos Tx....Tankah in my mind Posts: 26,950

12-17-2006	#3 (permalink)
cuffedlinks añejo Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: The City of Presidents Posts: 16,003	That's a great story! TOO true....

12-17-2006	#4 (permalink)
traci añejo Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Spring Texas Posts: 2,449	I think you must secretly be living in our house

12-17-2006	#5 (permalink)
CaroleLB Go Cougars! Join Date: May 2003 Location: New Jersey Posts: 3,945	Success! for which I take no credit... it's obvious I needed someone born after 1980 to complete a simple task I like this shot - it's almost artistic - a few more of my trees - the little aluminum one is my "travel" tree - it accompanies me everywhere I go. Notice the reflection of the big tree in my "Sopranos" mirrors. I don't theme... I tacky!

12-17-2006	#6 (permalink)
TAPPY añejo Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Louisiana Posts: 14,898	You crack me up sweetie.... The Target Tree looks very nice btw !!!! And fix me one of those Bloody Marys.... OH and Merry Freaking Christmas (that is what Gracie keeps on telling me)

12-17-2006	#7 (permalink)
pamplemoose77 añejo Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: dallas - kinda, tx Posts: 9,535	love it! i want an aluminum tree soooooo badly, but i haven't convinced anyone else yet that it's a good idea your daughter is beautiful!!! is that Ayla? or do you have more than one daughter?

12-17-2006	#9 (permalink)
Sukidog reposado Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: ON, Canada Posts: 1,362	Sometimes tacky is good.

12-17-2006	#10 (permalink)
Beachnutt719 añejo Join Date: May 2004 Location: Upstate New York Posts: 3,972	I think everything looks great Carole. I don't theme either. I have 2 huge tubs of ornaments, some going back to my grandmother and some things the kids made in kindergarten(20+ years ago). I just start pulling them out and throwing them on the tree, when it's full then I am done. And Tappy, I can just not imagine the work "freaking" coming out of sweet, adorable Gracie.

12-17-2006	#12 (permalink)
TeeZet Non-aggressive Dutch dude Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Uithoorn, The Netherlands Posts: 7,589	And it isn't even Christmas yet! I bet there's gonna be more bloody mary's on the way... Cheers, Carole! And a Merry Christmas!

12-17-2006	#13 (permalink)
Loree añejo Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: north of Pittsburgh Posts: 9,477	Carole you are too funny the trees look great!!!

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12-17-2006	#14 (permalink)
Doggiemom Canine FANatic Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Humble, Texas Posts: 5,945	Carole......you too funny!!!!!! Great tree BTW, a lot more than I have..which is squat!

12-17-2006	#15 (permalink)
silvergirl Pomegranite tequila lover Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Massachusetts Posts: 2,899	Damn lights! They can drive you nuts! My dh used to light up the whole outside of the house and bushes in the frigid freezing weather and stand back admiring it and then a set would be out. He'd replace it and the next day, another would go out. I think our lights were being sabotaged! Needless to say, we no longer light the outside of the house. We used to get a real tree but nobody ever told us you had to let it settle overnight and let the branches fall before you start decorating it! I never knew you had to tighten the stand periodically, either. You know, for when the trunk gets mushy....(who knows this???) We had just completed a major renovation/rebuild of our house and were having a Christmas/housewarming party. As our guests came in, we took their coats and all brought our first drinks over to admire the beautiful and very large and very heavily decorated tree . As we stood in front of it, it just starting leaning forward ever so slowly....like in slow motion........I thought I was seeing things, but only was on my first drink.... before we realized what was happening, the damn thing came crashing down at our feet! Broken glass ornaments everywhere! The girls got on our hands and knees picking up whatever we could while the guys tried to salvage the tree. We ended up tying it to the wall with fishing line to make sure it stayed! When we got up from the floor, we all had big wet stains on our pants from the tree water that spilled. Welcome to our new home!!! Our poor friends. They were such good sports. They felt so bad for us and I was horrified! There were many drinks consumed that night! We've got one of those pre-lit trees now. I say it's much easier to just go away for the holidays!