Happy Friday Funnies

[Mr Cancun]

"The New Corvette"

Jack, a Florida senior citizen, drove his brand new
Corvette convertible out of the dealership. Taking off
down the road, he floored it to 80 mph, enjoying the
wind blowing through what little hair he had left.
"Amazing!" he thought as he flew down I-75, pushing
the pedal to the metal even more.

Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw the highway
patrol behind him, blue lights flashing and siren blaring.
"I can get away from him - no problem!" thought the
elderly gentleman as he floored it to 100 mph, then
110, then 120 mph.

Suddenly, he thought, "What on earth am I doing? I'm too
old for this nonsense!" pulled over to the side of the road
and waited for the Trooper to catch up with him.

Pulling in behind him, the Trooper walked up to the
driver's side of the Corvette, looked at his watch and
said, "Sir, my shift ends in 30 minutes. Today is Friday.
If you can give me a reason why you were driving 120
miles per hour that I've never heard before, I'll let you go."

The man, looking very seriously at the Trooper, said,
"Years ago, my wife ran off with a Florida State Trooper.
I thought you were bringing her back!"

"Have a good day Sir," said the Trooper.

[Barb&Meg]

Subject: Fw: Group TherapyA psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with four young mothers and their small children. "You all have obsessions," heobserved.To the first mother, Mary , he said, "you are obsessed with eating.You've even named your daughter Candy."He turned to the second mom, Ann and said, "Your obsession is withmoney. Again, it manifests itself in your child's name, Penny."He then turned to the third mom, Joyce and said. "Your obsession isalcohol. This too shows itself in your child's name, Brandy."At this point, the fourth mother, Kathy , quietly got up, took her little boy by the hand and whispered, "come on, Dick, we're leaving."




A man entered the bus with both of his front pockets full of golf balls and sat down next to a beautiful blonde. The puzzled blonde kept looking at him and his bulging pockets. Finally, after many such glances from her, he said, "it's golf balls."
Nevertheless, the blonde continued to look at him for a very long time, obviously pondering what the man had said. After several minutes, not being able to contain her curiosity any longer she asked, "Does it hurt as much as tennis elbow?"