Making Coupledom Work Well

[Mercy]

Well Steve and I have been together almost 30 years, 25 of them married. First, you really need to have a sense of humor, laugh a lot. Steve is a real clown, has me laughing all the time. He would say I have a good sense of humor also.

Always put your partner first, their wants and needs. When you meet your partner's needs, they will naturally give the same back (unless they are totally selfish, in that case you should dump them)

Have thick skin, don't take everything so personally. Let things roll off your back. Not everything is a major deal.

Show interest in the things your partner enjoys. Your partner should be your best friend.

[syl]

Originally Posted by Mercy

Well Steve and I have been together almost 30 years, 25 of them married. First, you really need to have a sense of humor, laugh a lot. Steve is a real clown, has me laughing all the time. He would say I have a good sense of humor also.

Always put your partner first, their wants and needs. When you meet your partner's needs, they will naturally give the same back (unless they are totally selfish, in that case you should dump them)

Have thick skin, don't take everything so personally. Let things roll off your back. Not everything is a major deal.

Show interest in the things your partner enjoys. Your partner should be your best friend.

same here..about 30 yrs..but i will say they have not always been easy..hills..i almost wrote hells..??!! and valleys..it is alot of work..dedication..respect and you have to have a sense of humor and be able to say SORRY Alot...also he is my best friend..that helps!

[Seakony]

Being best friends
giving each other our space
fear of herpes.

[roni]

Originally Posted by Susie Q Roo

How do you and yours do it? What do you think the secret is to a successful and happy relationship?

EDIT: Not how do you do *IT* btw!

Why do you ask?

I hear oral sex may be helpful

[Tommygurl]

Most of the time we live in seperate countrys..

[gingele]

Sr yason and I will be maried 10 years next month. Together 12+

sense of humor
trust
and yes, talking about sh*$ even when you don't feel like it

oh, and the thing about not having a spotless house....AMEN!!!!!

and with kids - disagree all you want, but NOT in front of them.

[JillyinMN]

Originally Posted by Seakony

Being best friends
giving each other our space
fear of herpes.

I remember that line from the movie The Big Chill

[bufante]

Originally Posted by Tommygurl

Most of the time we live in seperate countrys..

Tru Dat!

Hmm...I have had this argument with others...I don't think you can make it work well...it just does or it just doesn't.

I wouldn't call it "work" either...I know it is just semantics, but the word itself makes it harder then it should be.

[queencityfan]

We are almost to 27 years married and the most important thing to me is that no matter how bad the situation in my life might be he is always the one that makes it better.

[Jacko]

Originally Posted by bufante

Tru Dat!

Hmm...I have had this argument with others...I don't think you can make it work well...it just does or it just doesn't.

I wouldn't call it "work" either...I know it is just semantics, but the word itself makes it harder then it should be.

Hmmm... I don't think I agree with those words (at least how I perceive them) For us, after 36 years of learning to live together with another, wonderful human being...if we had just "let it be or not", it would not have been!

And ...."harder than it should be" ?... How hard is that? Perhaps especially in this time of the sometimes quick divorce or split-up, I feel it is important for people to know that, at least in our experience, there can be arguments....it can be difficult and require a great deal of "work"....and it can still be wonderful! Perhaps more so when you work through things that were not easy.

We had/have to work at it on occasions (sometimes VERY hard) and we still think it is very well worth any "work" we have put into it.....but everyone is different I suppose in how they find and build their true love..(notice again, I said "build")

[MWC]

I'll support Jacko on this one. If you're going for a long-term relationship, you WILL have to put some effort into it to take the two of you beyond the initial "honeymoon" infatuation stage. The stresses of everyday life, the curveballs life throws you ... everything has an effect on you as individuals and as a team. I'm not the person I was at 21, when I got married ... You have to regularly check your, her and his bearings.

[TAPPY]

I will ditto what Jacko and MWC said. It is easy to stick together during the good times. It is how you hold up during the bad ones (and there will be bad ones and curveballs ) that count.

It is a lot of hard work.

[jx2]

It takes 2. No matter how much one adheres to any or all of this advice, if both partners don't do their 2 bits it will be tough. Love is a 2 way street. Veteran of 21 years married and 22 years together

[ElvisP]

Good sex and decent beer don't hurt either. Can't leave if you can't ever get up.

[SunKneeMarie]

Originally Posted by TAPPY

I will ditto what Jacko and MWC said. It is easy to stick together during the good times. It is how you hold up during the bad ones (and there will be bad ones and curveballs ) that count.

It is a lot of hard work.

It IS a lot of hard work... but, you know, it's not like drudgery... it's not like a job you dread going to each day... it's the kind of work that is enjoyable, part of who you are, satisfying...


(i could have gone on, but i didn't want to wear the analogy out too thin )