Making Coupledom Work Well

[jamesblonde]

My best friend's niece has a theory that you just have to find someone you love more then you hate. Guess that's why my 1st marriage didn't work out

[Jacko]

Originally Posted by SarahB

People force relationships at times that are obviously not meant to be (get prego or married when things aren't going well, etc.). That's how I interpret what Adam meant when he said "it works or it doesn't." It shouldn't have to be so hard and forced (in my opinioin). I don't have a problem with the word "work." It's just the good kind of work that you should want to do. Kinda like a hobby or something that you are continuously working on and you are happy to do and proud of what you have.

People can call it what they want, deal with it how they want, etc. Obviously there is going to be work, troubles, disagreements, and arguments. However, I think if the good times don't outweigh the bad over time...well, I'm not sure what you do! I am glad I don't have that issue! At some point I would guess that life is too short to be unhappy and it might be time to "let it be."

'xactly

[sctx]

Originally Posted by jamesblonde

My best friend's niece has a theory that you just have to find someone you love more then you hate.

or that doesn't throw bonsai trees at you

[SunKneeMarie]

Originally Posted by jamesblonde

My best friend's niece has a theory that you just have to find someone you love more then you hate. Guess that's why my 1st marriage didn't work out

One of my good friend's brothers said, upon his engagement: "I just found someone what could put up with all my sh*t."

He was a little bit country... and a lot a bit romantic, eh?

[Banzoomba]

I say it all the time I don't think anyone else could put up with me.......but then again I don't think anyone else could put up with her either......I think it helps that we were just kids when our relationship started and we have grow up together but never really grown apart....just made adjustments along the way.......she still squeezes the toothpaste in the middle which makes me go insane

[RanchHQ]

I didn't get Married till I was 42 y/o.
Took me that long to find a Woman who not only could put up with me but was my Best Friend.
We are still Best Friends:

[KelliG]

Ahh...the "toothpaste" issue....yep...the little things that drive me NUTS are the first things that I would miss if he were to disappear.....
What makes it work? hmmm.....lots of laughs....sounds a bit simplistic, but it is sooo true. A lot of the stuff that I used to laugh at I now roll my eyes at, but I giggle inside all the same.
And....letting that person know just how special they are...and how you are truly lucky to have found each other.....
Stew and I got engaged before I think we REALLY knew each other well.....we learned a lot about ourselves and relationships in those first two years....you must be willing to make compromises....without losing yourself at the same time....
Okay...I've said enough....
Love you, Stu!

[ANDY&JEN]

Originally Posted by RanchHQ

I didn't get Married till I was 42 y/o.
Took me that long to find a Woman who not only could put up with me but was my Best Friend.
We are still Best Friends:

Thats nice .
.

[xqqzme]

I married someone I'm best friends with. We are very different personalities but they blend well together. Jeff hates the term but I like to say we are comfortable with each other. I am at peace and content when I'm with him.

[Tommygurl]

I am okay with the term work. Heck it is hard work...throw a couple kids, jobs, the house, the pets into the mix & yah its hard work. But it is worth it.

[woodman]

Keep the fighting clean,and the sex dirty.

[jamesblonde]

Originally Posted by woodman

Keep the fighting clean,and the sex dirty.

Woody, you're a man after my own heart

[Nerak936]

Originally Posted by xqqzme

I married someone I'm best friends with. We are very different personalities but they blend well together. Jeff hates the term but I like to say we are comfortable with each other. I am at peace and content when I'm with him.

I like that "term"!! My David is such a positive, upbeat person, and he can always find a way to make me feel better when everything is going wrong. And if he can't do it with words, just his hug makes me feel that everything will be okay.

When I was a kid and I'd ask my mother "Why'd you marry daddy?", she told me she loved him, she felt she and him worked together good as a "team", and most importantly, she respected him.

I can say those things about how I feel about David. Hopefully he feels the same way about me. And if he doesn't, I'll just beat it into him until he agrees.

[melliedee]

Originally Posted by woodman

Keep the fighting clean,and the sex dirty.

This is the best advice I've heard yet!

I have no business posting on this thread, as I am long-time single and happy about it. All this "best friend" talk makes me wary. I hate the idea that marriage or coupledom "fuses" you into that "we are one" mentality." The fierce independent streak in me balks at being so taken over completely by another person...I know, I just have not met the right one yet. Tell it to my mother.

[Jacko]

Originally Posted by melliedee

This is the best advice I've heard yet!

I have no business posting on this thread, as I am long-time single and happy about it. All this "best friend" talk makes me wary. I hate the idea that marriage or coupledom "fuses" you into that "we are one" mentality." The fierce independent streak in me balks at being so taken over completely by another person...I know, I just have not met the right one yet. Tell it to my mother.

You don't know Linda and I...we have a lot in common....and we are a whole LOT different...its simple...and complex...all at the same time