Alcoholism..

Sunny20 · 08-07-2007

I know it's weird to be asking this here but i don't know where to begin.

what's the best to do to get a family member to realize that they are alcoholic and need therapy..?
is it a lost case or can you help them in any way?

Seakony · 08-07-2007

You can always try an intervention..but you need several people who is close to the alcoholic to partake in it. Then it may not work. The best thing is not to enable them and they may have to lose everything and hit rock bottom before they will seek help..and only if they want to seek help. Alot of alcoholics never do.
I keep my life simple...and just stay away from them.

Andiline · 08-07-2007

Sunny, this is a hard situation. One of my family members is one, has been for years but she never went to AA-meetings and never admitted it. She's had two collapses already and was sober for months afterwards but then she started again. Not sure what advice to give you as I really don't know one. Unless the person doesn't aknowledge it him/herself it is nearly impossible to help.

Seakony · 08-07-2007

The worst are the ones who only drink beer or wine... they just refuse to believe that they have a problem..afterall..it's only wine..or beer. It also doesn't have to be a daily habit either. It could be weekly, or just when they are having a problem with day to day life.
Good luck.

Sunny20 · 08-07-2007

Quote:

Originally Posted by Seakony

You can always try an intervention..but you need several people who is close to the alcoholic to partake in it. Then it may not work. The best thing is not to enable them and they may have to lose everything and hit rock bottom before they will seek help..and only if they want to seek help. Alot of alcoholics never do.
I keep my life simple...and just stay away from them.

yeah, i'd like to stay away too.. done that for years.. but it's getting a little too much..

Quote:

Originally Posted by Andiline

Sunny, this is a hard situation. One of my family members is one, has been for years but she never went to AA-meetings and never admitted it. She's had two collapses already and was sober for months afterwards but then she started again. Not sure what advice to give you as I really don't know one. Unless the person doesn't aknowledge it him/herself it is nearly impossible to help.

well one of the persons does admit that she has a problem when i confront her about this but when i ask why she doesnt do anything about it she just says.. I don't know.. ! that's something i don't understand..

Sunny20 · 08-07-2007

Quote:

Originally Posted by Seakony

The worst are the ones who only drink beer or wine... they just refuse to believe that they have a problem..afterall..it's only wine..or beer. It also doesn't have to be a daily habit either. It could be weekly, or just when they are having a problem with day to day life.
Good luck.

You really hit the nail on the head there.. that's their excuse..

Andiline · 08-07-2007

Rita, yes, you are right but still, with the person in my family we are glad if she stays with wine. It us MUCH worse when she drinks the 'hard' stuff (booze/schnaps). This doesn't change anything with her having a problem but her health is much worse with booze. She never had a breakdown while drinking wine but she had them when being in the 'schnaps'-time. Her liver-values were much worse with booze.

bufante · 08-07-2007

In the US you can have someone committed by a court to be evaluated. It usually takes a couple family members and/or someone who lives with them to have it done. The court will generally commit someone to a place where they can be evaluated and then follow up treatments can be documented.

Not sure about where you are from...good luck and don't back down.

Sunny20 · 08-07-2007

Quote:

Originally Posted by bufante

In the US you can have someone committed by a court to be evaluated. It usually takes a couple family members and/or someone who lives with them to have it done. The court will generally commit someone to a place where they can be evaluated and then follow up treatments can be documented.

Not sure about where you are from...good luck and don't back down.

well I'm from Iceland and I don't think that the law are like that here..
also I don't think i'd want to do anything like that...
uuhh it's really draining all of this..
I will just keep on hoping the best I guess...

PlayadelSoul · 08-07-2007

I know alcoholism is a big problem in Iceland. In fact, I know more about alcoholism than I care to admit.

In any event, I would suggest that you go to an Al-Anon meeting (alcoholics have a way of screwing up the lives around them). I am sure you can find some help, there. Also, try to find an alcoholic in recovery that is willing to share their story with your loved one. Sometimes, we don't see any other way, so we continue to drink. When one of us hears that there is someone else who had the exact same feelings and problems, and who recovered, it gives them hope. If an alcoholics gets a little bit of hope, the willingness to get better will follow.

PM me, if you want to talk.

Andiline · 08-07-2007

Sunny, don't give up on them. The person I am talking about is my aunt and the problem is that my uncle is not helping. For her birthday he even gave her a bottle of expensive schnaps. How stupid is that? We were really near to hitting him hard in his face. My aunt's situation might be different if my uncle would cooperate but he doesn't. So my aunt doesn't have the slightest chance. Do try everything you can but if you feel you can't do any more - accept it that there are limits to what you can do and don't blame yourself.

Andrea

mfl*s queen · 08-07-2007

Quote:

Originally Posted by PlayadelSoul

I know alcoholism is a big problem in Iceland. In fact, I know more about alcoholism than I care to admit.

In any event, I would suggest that you go to an Al-Anon meeting (alcoholics have a way of screwing up the lives around them). I am sure you can find some help, there. Also, try to find an alcoholic in recovery that is willing to share their story with your loved one. Sometimes, we don't see any other way, so we continue to drink. When one of us hears that there is someone else who had the exact same feelings and problems, and who recovered, it gives them hope. If an alcoholics gets a little bit of hope, the willingness to get better will follow.
PM me, if you want to talk.

Mark is correct..go to an Al-Anon Meeting. Help yourself, you can only help those who help themselves.

Sunny20 · 08-07-2007

Quote:

Originally Posted by mfl*s queen

Mark is correct..go to an Al-Anon Meeting. Help yourself, you can only help those who help themselves.

that's true....

Cosmo · 08-07-2007

I would consider an intervention. It could work and keep them from hitting rock bottom and hurting themselves or others, or worse. Good luck. Find out what the real problem is...

Anna Tortuga · 08-07-2007

don't know any alchoholics, but I know many drug addicts, and I don't think there's a big difference. I think they need professional help, as both are to be considered long term (suicidal) sickness, involving not only themselvesm, but all the people that love them. most of teh time, in my experience, they refuse help, but its worth a battle if you can bring them back to life.

08-07-2007	#1 (permalink)
Sunny20 Billow Maiden Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: after 9 months in Playa del Carmen back in Iceland.. :( Posts: 2,446	Alcoholism.. I know it's weird to be asking this here but i don't know where to begin. what's the best to do to get a family member to realize that they are alcoholic and need therapy..? is it a lost case or can you help them in any way?

08-07-2007	#14 (permalink)
Cosmo añejo Join Date: Apr 2006 Posts: 9,471	I would consider an intervention. It could work and keep them from hitting rock bottom and hurting themselves or others, or worse. Good luck. Find out what the real problem is... Last edited by Cosmo : 08-07-2007 at 05:00 PM.

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08-07-2007	#2 (permalink)
Seakony añejo Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: no longer in Mesquite with nothing to do Posts: 10,147	You can always try an intervention..but you need several people who is close to the alcoholic to partake in it. Then it may not work. The best thing is not to enable them and they may have to lose everything and hit rock bottom before they will seek help..and only if they want to seek help. Alot of alcoholics never do. I keep my life simple...and just stay away from them.

08-07-2007	#3 (permalink)
Andiline añejo Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Cologne, Germany Posts: 7,427	Sunny, this is a hard situation. One of my family members is one, has been for years but she never went to AA-meetings and never admitted it. She's had two collapses already and was sober for months afterwards but then she started again. Not sure what advice to give you as I really don't know one. Unless the person doesn't aknowledge it him/herself it is nearly impossible to help.

08-07-2007	#4 (permalink)
Seakony añejo Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: no longer in Mesquite with nothing to do Posts: 10,147	The worst are the ones who only drink beer or wine... they just refuse to believe that they have a problem..afterall..it's only wine..or beer. It also doesn't have to be a daily habit either. It could be weekly, or just when they are having a problem with day to day life. Good luck.

08-07-2007	#7 (permalink)
Andiline añejo Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Cologne, Germany Posts: 7,427	Rita, yes, you are right but still, with the person in my family we are glad if she stays with wine. It us MUCH worse when she drinks the 'hard' stuff (booze/schnaps). This doesn't change anything with her having a problem but her health is much worse with booze. She never had a breakdown while drinking wine but she had them when being in the 'schnaps'-time. Her liver-values were much worse with booze.

08-07-2007	#8 (permalink)
bufante minucker Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Crop Dusting the IA Posts: 2,600	In the US you can have someone committed by a court to be evaluated. It usually takes a couple family members and/or someone who lives with them to have it done. The court will generally commit someone to a place where they can be evaluated and then follow up treatments can be documented. Not sure about where you are from...good luck and don't back down.

08-07-2007	#10 (permalink)
PlayadelSoul Registered User Join Date: May 2005 Location: We'll know when we get there, We'll find mercy Posts: 8,965	I know alcoholism is a big problem in Iceland. In fact, I know more about alcoholism than I care to admit. In any event, I would suggest that you go to an Al-Anon meeting (alcoholics have a way of screwing up the lives around them). I am sure you can find some help, there. Also, try to find an alcoholic in recovery that is willing to share their story with your loved one. Sometimes, we don't see any other way, so we continue to drink. When one of us hears that there is someone else who had the exact same feelings and problems, and who recovered, it gives them hope. If an alcoholics gets a little bit of hope, the willingness to get better will follow. PM me, if you want to talk.

08-07-2007	#11 (permalink)
Andiline añejo Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Cologne, Germany Posts: 7,427	Sunny, don't give up on them. The person I am talking about is my aunt and the problem is that my uncle is not helping. For her birthday he even gave her a bottle of expensive schnaps. How stupid is that? We were really near to hitting him hard in his face. My aunt's situation might be different if my uncle would cooperate but he doesn't. So my aunt doesn't have the slightest chance. Do try everything you can but if you feel you can't do any more - accept it that there are limits to what you can do and don't blame yourself. Andrea

08-07-2007	#15 (permalink)
Anna Tortuga añejo Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: playa del carmen...urgh Posts: 3,992	don't know any alchoholics, but I know many drug addicts, and I don't think there's a big difference. I think they need professional help, as both are to be considered long term (suicidal) sickness, involving not only themselvesm, but all the people that love them. most of teh time, in my experience, they refuse help, but its worth a battle if you can bring them back to life.

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