Predatory Females and Their Young Male Students

[farmgirl]

No offense to anyone, but this is starting to sound like women who have issues go into teaching like men with issues into the priesthood!!

[MWC]

Maybe I'm naive, but I do think the female teacher-male student combo is a fairly new phenomenon. I think it's terrible. There was one situation at the private (boarding ) school where my sister works, so sis could do a blow-by-blow of the pathology. The woman took advantage of a youth's natural sexual curiousity, then freaked when the kid showed signs of outgrowing the relationship ... started harrassing and stalking the kid. I definitely think the older women are imprinting way too much on the under-developed psyche of their victims.


Luv2, on a pithier note: that is my point of view exactly!

SKM: thank you for that, I absolutely agree. My hubby is of the mindset that such a situation would be the greatest thing that could happen to a boy that age.

[horizon200]

A girl in our HS class ran off with our Latin Teacher in 10th grade...the guy was known around the school as the teacher with Halitosis. Make a train take a dirt road kinda bad breath. She was a bit of a looker.

[vieve]

Originally Posted by MWC

Maybe I'm naive, but I do think the female teacher-male student combo is a fairly new phenomenon. I think it's terrible. There was one situation at the private (boarding ) school where my sister works, so sis could do a blow-by-blow of the pathology. The woman took advantage of a youth's natural sexual curiousity, then freaked when the kid showed signs of outgrowing the relationship ... started harrassing and stalking the kid. I definitely think the older women are imprinting way too much on the under-developed psyche of their victims.


Luv2, on a pithier note: that is my point of view exactly!

SKM: thank you for that, I absolutely agree. My hubby is of the mindset that such a situation would be the greatest thing that could happen to a boy that age.

Is it a new phenomenon-quite possible, from a feminist perspective you could argue that women now have enough power to abuse it-or did it happen before, but because of stereotypes, guys in the situation weren't seen as victims?

20 years ago I co-taught a class of HS boys who were sent to our school because, in addition to having high IQ scores, they had committed a crime on school property, used drugs or been excessively truant, etc. We had a 14 year old in that class who got in to bars, seduced his mom's friends and hit on my co-teacher. My guess is that he was far more experienced sexually than my co-teacher...would it have been wrong for her to have a relationship with him? Absolutely, but the whole thing had a real different tenor from the dynamic I experienced when I was in HS and my teacher harassed me. In that case, I was the victim, in the 14 year old student's case he played the aggressor.

[SunKneeMarie]

Originally Posted by vieve

Is it a new phenomenon-quite possible, from a feminist perspective you could argue that women now have enough power to abuse it-or did it happen before, but because of stereotypes, guys in the situation weren't seen as victims?

20 years ago I co-taught a class of HS boys who were sent to our school because, in addition to having high IQ scores, they had committed a crime on school property, used drugs or been excessively truant, etc. We had a 14 year old in that class who got in to bars, seduced his mom's friends and hit on my co-teacher. My guess is that he was far more experienced sexually than my co-teacher...would it have been wrong for her to have a relationship with him? Absolutely, but the whole thing had a real different tenor from the dynamic I experienced when I was in HS and my teacher harassed me. In that case, I was the victim, in the 14 year old student's case he played the aggressor.

there are also girls who are very aggressive sexually at a young age... and many who develop early and look far older than their years... i'm sure male teachers are attracted to them... i mean, we KNOW there are... but it is the responsibility of the teachers to be the mature adults and stop the relationship before it happens... male or female, having sex with an underage student is criminally wrong, not just morally...

As Sting said, "Don't Stand So Close To Me"...

[roni]

In the 10th grade I was at the school on a Saturday working on the Spanish booth for the international festival. A teacher, not mine but one I know was there and we were by ourselves. I went to the bathroom, and when I cameback your loose flannel shirt had a button undone and one boob was pretty fully exposed.

I left the room for a few minutes, and when I came back it was back in her shirt. Later (it was usually later with me), I wondered if it was on purpose and what would have happened if I had done something other than leave the room for a bit.

I needed aggressive people if they wanted me to hanky panky around with them, apparently

[Jacko]

Originally Posted by SunKneeMarie

there are also girls who are very aggressive sexually at a young age... and many who develop early and look far older than their years... i'm sure male teachers are attracted to them... i mean, we KNOW there are... but it is the responsibility of the teachers to be the mature adults and stop the relationship before it happens... male or female, having sex with an underage student is criminally wrong, not just morally...

As Sting said, "Don't Stand So Close To Me"...

I agree...and to rephrase just a bit (cuz this is really NOT just about teachers and students)......

.....but it is the responsibility of ALL ADULTS to be the mature adults and stop the relationship before it happens... male or female, having sex with an underage CHILD is criminally wrong, not just morally.....

[vieve]

Originally Posted by SunKneeMarie

there are also girls who are very aggressive sexually at a young age... and many who develop early and look far older than their years... i'm sure male teachers are attracted to them... i mean, we KNOW there are... but it is the responsibility of the teachers to be the mature adults and stop the relationship before it happens... male or female, having sex with an underage student is criminally wrong, not just morally...

I agree with you absolutely here...

I was ineffectively working towards the point that, in the past certainly, and probably even today, male students would not have been viewed, and would not have seen themselves as the victim of crime...

In fact, although I think this has changed now, when I worked at a women's shelter in the 80's we were told that, as it was erroneously considered clinically impossible for a woman to rape a man, in some states rape was only defined as a man penetrating a woman or another man sexually.

[woodman]

Originally Posted by SunKneeMarie

there are also girls who are very aggressive sexually at a young age... and many who develop early and look far older than their years... i'm sure male teachers are attracted to them... i mean, we KNOW there are... but it is the responsibility of the teachers to be the mature adults and stop the relationship before it happens... male or female, having sex with an underage student is criminally wrong, not just morally...

As Sting said, "Don't Stand So Close To Me"...

I agree,you don't stop feeling things just because you grow up,you just stop acting on them.

[roni]

Originally Posted by woodman

I agree,you don't stop feeling things just because you grow up,you just stop acting on them.

I dunno, I am so turned on by mature women in their 40's to early 60's - I hardly notice those underage girls. These days, 20 year olds look really, really, really young, so I think I am probably safe legally , not that I have acted out on anything for ages and ages.

[vieve]

Originally Posted by roni

In the 10th grade I was at the school on a Saturday working on the Spanish booth for the international festival. A teacher, not mine but one I know was there and we were by ourselves. I went to the bathroom, and when I cameback your loose flannel shirt had a button undone and one boob was pretty fully exposed.

I left the room for a few minutes, and when I came back it was back in her shirt. Later (it was usually later with me), I wondered if it was on purpose and what would have happened if I had done something other than leave the room for a bit.

I needed aggressive people if they wanted me to hanky panky around with them, apparently

Here's where I think sometimes men and women have different reactions- did you feel threatened or upset by that when you thought about it later?
Because I think I would have been-and was-very uncomfortable in that type of situation, whereas my husband would have been, to quote him about a similar incident "yeah baby!"

[Jacko]

Originally Posted by vieve

I agree with you absolutely here...

I was ineffectively working towards the point that, in the past certainly, and probably even today, male students would not have been viewed, and would not have seen themselves as the victim of crime...

In fact, although I think this has changed now, when I worked at a women's shelter in the 80's we were told that, as it was erroneously considered clinically impossible for a woman to rape a man, in some states rape was only defined as a man penetrating a woman or another man sexually.

Perhaps this gets to the difference between sexual assault and sexual molestation?...from wiki...

Child sexual abuse is an umbrella term describing criminal and civil offenses in which an adult engages in sexual activity with a minor or exploits a minor for the purpose of sexual gratification.[1][2] This term includes a variety of sexual offenses, including:

• sexual assault – a term defining offenses in which an adult touches a minor for the purpose of sexual gratification; for example, rape (including sodomy), and sexual penetration with an object.[3] Most U.S. states include, in their definitions of sexual assault, any penetrative contact of a minor’s body, however slight, if the contact is performed for the purpose of sexual gratification.[4]
• sexual molestation – a term defining offenses in which an adult engages in non-penetrative activity with a minor for the purpose of sexual gratification; for example, exposing a minor to pornography or to the sexual acts of others.[5]
• sexual exploitation – a term defining offenses in which an adult victimizes a minor for advancement, sexual gratification, or profit; for example, prostituting a child,[6] and creating or trafficking in child pornography.[7]
• sexual grooming - defines the social conduct of a potential child sex offender who seeks to make a minor more accepting of their advances, for example in an online chat room[8]

[woodman]

Originally Posted by roni

I dunno, I am so turned on by mature women in their 40's to early 60's - I hardly notice those underage girls. These days, 20 year olds look really, really, really young, so I think I am probably safe legally , not that I have acted out on anything for ages and ages.

Do you act on itDon't answer roni

[SunKneeMarie]

Originally Posted by Jacko

I agree...and to rephrase just a bit (cuz this is really NOT just about teachers and students)......

.....but it is the responsibility of ALL ADULTS to be the mature adults and stop the relationship before it happens... male or female, having sex with an underage CHILD is criminally wrong, not just morally.....

you're right... all adults... I was just thinking of this case being in the news again as it is a teacher and a student... and maybe in some ways this is more egregious because this is a position of trust--teachers, clergymen, etc... we warn our kids about strangers and to be careful of adults they don't know... so it is even more of a violation (in my mind anyway) when it is a teacher or other trusted adult...

[roni]

Originally Posted by vieve

Here's where I think sometimes men and women have different reactions- did you feel threatened or upset by that when you thought about it later?
Because I think I would have been-and was-very uncomfortable in that type of situation, whereas my husband would have been, to quote him about a similar incident "yeah baby!"

I do not remember feeling threatened or upset. I remember wondering if I had passed by a chance to experience something I had never experienced before, but did not dwell on or obsess about it. It was a little exciting as I thought about it later, as I recall. I remember not telling any of my classmates about it because this teacher was really cool and I didn't want anything negative to happen. I was not even sure she was aware that her boob had popped out - in fact I remember discounting the possibility that she knew about it at the moment in time that I walked back into the room