Verbal Darwin Awards

diogeron · 12-13-2007

We all know about the Darwin awards given to people who do unbelievably stupid things. The e-mail below was forwarded to me by my daughter in San Francisco, who received it from a friend. I felt it was worth sharing but there was no appropriate thread, so starting this thread was initially my excuse for sharing it. Upon reflection, I think this a thread like this has value because we can all thank those who say things that are simply so stupid that it brings all of us together, irrespective of politics, religion (or lack thereof), geography, gender, etc. in that we respond by collectively saying, "That was a really, really stupid thing to say." For starters, this is my modest contribution to the thread. I hope you find it as amusing as did I.
Incidentally, I have deleted the names in the original e-mail for obvious reasons.
[FONT='Arial','sans-serif']I just got this from..... a 2nd-year internal medicine resident at Johns Hopkins. (He) always has some amazing stories, but this one has to be up near the top. This comes verbatim from his conversation with a patient.[/font]One of my favorite moments:

"Doc, I need Valium."

"Why do you need Valium?"

"I get nervous when I buy cocaine from the guy who shot me."

"WHY do you buy cocaine from the guy WHO SHOT YOU?"

"He has cocaine."

"Yeah....well....I love steak but I wouldnt go back to the restaurant if the waiter who served it to me last time, SHOT ME!"

"Well.... doc ..... sorry to tell you ... but you're missing out on some good meat."

sorry for the mass email... but just had to share a clinic experience...

kirbyfan · 12-13-2007

This one from one of my 8th grade students:

"Mr. Schulz, how do you spell moron?"

not a member · 12-13-2007

Anything said by former Prime Minister Jean Chretien.

Here is the most famous:

"I don't know. A proof is a proof. What kind of a proof? It's a proof. A proof is a proof, and when you have a good proof, it's because it's proven."

diogeron · 12-13-2007

Wasn't he a lawyer, eh?

Quote:

Originally Posted by KMAN

Anything said by former Prime Minister Jean Chretien.

Here is the most famous:

"I don't know. A proof is a proof. What kind of a proof? It's a proof. A proof is a proof, and when you have a good proof, it's because it's proven."

not a member · 12-13-2007

Quote:

Originally Posted by diogeron

Wasn't he a lawyer, eh?

Ah Qui, you hurd of da wittle guy fwom Shawinigan?

Rissask · 12-14-2007

Quote:

Originally Posted by KMAN

Anything said by former Prime Minister Jean Chretien.

Here is the most famous:

"I don't know. A proof is a proof. What kind of a proof? It's a proof. A proof is a proof, and when you have a good proof, it's because it's proven."

classic!!

he was such a good sport.

Did you see him on Rick Mercer a couple of weeks ago, when he had Rick in a headlock?

Then he had to show him he was still in good shape after his quadruple bypass, and ran up the Parliament steps.

Rissask · 12-14-2007

Another good one for Kman...

Quote:

When holding a press conference on Free Trade with U. S. president Bill Clinton, Canadian prime minister Jean Chretien was asked what he thought about all the drugs that were entering Canada from the U. S. He responded: "Well, it's more trade. "
After a tense moment of silence and some muffled laughter Clinton leaned over and whispered something in Chretien's ear. Chretien immediately blurted "Oh drugs! I thought you said trucks!"
- Jean Chretien

phoenixmee · 12-14-2007

While working airport security:

"What do you mean that's not allowed? That's not a liquid, it's a bottle of water!"

cyndyj1 · 12-14-2007

Some US leaders should be in the running for best (or worst) verbal gaffes. Such as:
Gerald Ford:
"I always watch the Detroit Tigers on the radio,” he once said.
At a celebration for Lincoln’s birthday, he told the audience: “If Lincoln were alive today, he’d roll over in his grave.”

W:
''This administration is doing everything we can to end the stalemate in an efficient way. We're making the right decisions to bring the solution to an end.''

''You teach a child to read, and he or her will be able to pass a literacy test.''
"We've got to make sure that the education system throughout the world provides people the needs to be able to provide work."
Richard Nixon:
"I was not lying. I said things that later on seemed to be untrue."
Bill Clinton:
"It depends upon what the meaning of the word 'is' is."

not a member · 12-14-2007

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rissask

Another good one for Kman...

Riss,

I followed every gaffe this guy made, here are another couple.

"I don't know what is marijuana. Perhaps I will try it when it will no longer be criminal. I will have my money for my fine and a joint in the other hand,"

When asked about the use of Pepper spray on APEC protestors:

"For me, pepper, I put it on my plate."

This guy was CLASSIC!!!

See Turtle · 12-14-2007

This one came while my father, a country doctor, was doing an history on a new patient. It makes me smile every time I think of it:

Dr. Smith: "Do you know what your father died of?
Patient: "Why, no, doctor, what?"

12-13-2007	#1 (permalink)
diogeron reposado Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: bloomington, IN and playa Posts: 1,420	Verbal Darwin Awards We all know about the Darwin awards given to people who do unbelievably stupid things. The e-mail below was forwarded to me by my daughter in San Francisco, who received it from a friend. I felt it was worth sharing but there was no appropriate thread, so starting this thread was initially my excuse for sharing it. Upon reflection, I think this a thread like this has value because we can all thank those who say things that are simply so stupid that it brings all of us together, irrespective of politics, religion (or lack thereof), geography, gender, etc. in that we respond by collectively saying, "That was a really, really stupid thing to say." For starters, this is my modest contribution to the thread. I hope you find it as amusing as did I. Incidentally, I have deleted the names in the original e-mail for obvious reasons. [FONT='Arial','sans-serif']I just got this from..... a 2nd-year internal medicine resident at Johns Hopkins. (He) always has some amazing stories, but this one has to be up near the top. This comes verbatim from his conversation with a patient.[/font]One of my favorite moments: "Doc, I need Valium." "Why do you need Valium?" "I get nervous when I buy cocaine from the guy who shot me." "WHY do you buy cocaine from the guy WHO SHOT YOU?" "He has cocaine." "Yeah....well....I love steak but I wouldnt go back to the restaurant if the waiter who served it to me last time, SHOT ME!" "Well.... doc ..... sorry to tell you ... but you're missing out on some good meat." sorry for the mass email... but just had to share a clinic experience... Last edited by diogeron; 12-13-2007 at 02:56 PM..

12-13-2007	#2 (permalink)
kirbyfan back again, again Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Minnesota Posts: 9,441	This one from one of my 8th grade students: "Mr. Schulz, how do you spell moron?"

12-13-2007	#3 (permalink)
not a member life=playa Join Date: Dec 2003 Posts: 881	Anything said by former Prime Minister Jean Chretien. Here is the most famous: "I don't know. A proof is a proof. What kind of a proof? It's a proof. A proof is a proof, and when you have a good proof, it's because it's proven."

12-14-2007	#8 (permalink)
phoenixmee añejo Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Lewisville, TX Posts: 1,963	While working airport security: "What do you mean that's not allowed? That's not a liquid, it's a bottle of water!"

12-14-2007	#9 (permalink)
cyndyj1 añejo Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Denver, CO Posts: 2,609	Some US leaders should be in the running for best (or worst) verbal gaffes. Such as: Gerald Ford: "I always watch the Detroit Tigers on the radio,” he once said. At a celebration for Lincoln’s birthday, he told the audience: “If Lincoln were alive today, he’d roll over in his grave.” W: ''This administration is doing everything we can to end the stalemate in an efficient way. We're making the right decisions to bring the solution to an end.'' ''You teach a child to read, and he or her will be able to pass a literacy test.'' "We've got to make sure that the education system throughout the world provides people the needs to be able to provide work." Richard Nixon: "I was not lying. I said things that later on seemed to be untrue." Bill Clinton: "It depends upon what the meaning of the word 'is' is."

12-14-2007	#11 (permalink)
See Turtle reposado Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Carmel, Indiana Posts: 1,245	This one came while my father, a country doctor, was doing an history on a new patient. It makes me smile every time I think of it: Dr. Smith: "Do you know what your father died of? Patient: "Why, no, doctor, what?"

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