Prayers...or something. - Page 11

**Anna** · 12-25-2007

I have no personal experience with suicide, but I was just thinking... perhaps it is a selfish act in some cases, but perhaps it's also a question of this person being in such a dark place, such dispair, that he/she truly believes the people he/she loves is better off without him/her. Perhaps thinking that will make us understand better, and forgive. Knowing that, you also know that there's nothing you can say to make this person see the light, and that it's not your fault. And even if the person resorting to this final decision doesn't want, need or even deserve forgiveness, finding a way to forgive will help you to let go of the pain. I hope.

Jacko · 12-25-2007

Quote:

Originally Posted by Anna

I have no personal experience with suicide, but I was just thinking... perhaps it is a selfish act in some cases, but perhaps it's also a question of this person being in such a dark place, such dispair, that he/she truly believes the people he/she loves is better off without him/her. Perhaps thinking that will make us understand better, and forgive. Knowing that, you also know that there's nothing you can say to make this person see the light, and that it's not your fault. And even if the person resorting to this final decision doesn't want, need or even deserve forgiveness, finding a way to forgive will help you to let go of the pain. I hope.

Sweet words that ring true to me....We hope too.

Merry Christmas Anna and family!

Starfish · 12-25-2007

Leasa, I am sooo sorry for your loss. Words just can't say how I feel for you. It's easy to say be strong for your children, when your hurting so much. Please know that all of us here are behind you with our prayers.
It's ben a really bad year for alot of my close friends who lost parents this year, I just hope 2008 will be better.
Our deepest sympathy to you and your family.

DavidB · 12-25-2007

So sorry for you and your family. I'm glad you decided to go through with Christmas for the kids. There's time enough after Christmas to deal with the circumstances of your mothers death.

myhappyplace2 · 12-25-2007

Shirlee posting....Leasa I am terribly sad to hear this. My heart goes out to you and your family.

Ginger · 12-25-2007

Thanks everybody. I wish I could explain how it makes me feel to come on here and read all these kind condolences....I just have no words or no way to express the feeling it gives me. I haven't told any of my friends here yet (I think it would be kind of wierd to call them up just to say my mom killed herself, and I don't want to ruin anyone else's Christmas either) and so it has been very heartwarming to read all of the comments here.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Anna

perhaps it is a selfish act in some cases, but perhaps it's also a question of this person being in such a dark place, such dispair, that he/she truly believes the people he/she loves is better off without him/her. Perhaps thinking that will make us understand better, and forgive. Knowing that, you also know that there's nothing you can say to make this person see the light, and that it's not your fault. And even if the person resorting to this final decision doesn't want, need or even deserve forgiveness, finding a way to forgive will help you to let go of the pain. I hope.

wow, these are very wise words. Today some of my anger is subsiding, and some sorrow is creeping in, and some understanding. Thank you for saying this, Anna, I know and hope that eventually one day I need (and will be able) to forgive her.

I hope everyone had a great Christmas!

jmac · 12-25-2007

Hey Leasa, big hugs from us. We know all too well about suicide, my father-in-law did it 8 years ago. His health was not the greatest & he fought depression for many years. We were pissed at first because of our kids, they were 5 & 10 and they did not understand but time heals some and you go on. You can never totally figure it out why they would do it and you will drive yourself crazy (no pun intended) trying to figure it out. You just have to finally (and it takes time) accept that they are rid of their (theirs & NOT yours) demons. Depression is just like the devil. I have 2 cousins who have done it at 18 years old (brothers, 5 years apart to the weekend), they have had many, many suicides in their family (not my side). It is brutal & unforgiving for the people that live with it. I've had mild depression and it's no fun, I can't imagine it that bad. You take time for yourself, grieve, be angry & take care of YOU & then your family or you won't be of any help to them. Take care & hugs from us. It's crappy having it happen at this time of year but you have strength in your family & you'll get through it, just as many of us have before you.

pamplemoose77 · 12-26-2007

omg, i'm so sorry to read this, leasa. i just now caught up with this thread, and my heart breaks for you and your family.

((((hugs))))

Ginger · 12-26-2007

I posted on my blog, but I just thought I'd share a photo of my mom here. She really was very beautiful. Hope that's not weird to do.

syl · 12-26-2007

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ginger

I posted on my blog, but I just thought I'd share a photo of my mom here. She really was very beautiful. Hope that's not weird to do.

your mom is very beautiful..remember her that way....lots of hugs headed your way...sylvia

Andiline · 12-26-2007

No Ginger, it is not weird to post her pics. She was your mother after all. It is always hard when a parent dies (I am fortunate enough that mine are still alive) but my best friend is grieving as well and I know how hard it is as I've spoken to her as much as I could in the past 3 weeks.

Give yourself time to grieve and remember her in her good times once the anger fades a little bit.

*hugs*
Andrea

KelliG · 12-26-2007

The photos of your mom are beautiful.....the way for you to remember her....
I am so sorry for your family....may you all heal and forgive her.

ThrushJockey · 12-26-2007

Leasa,

Just saw this...

Words cannot say how sorry I am for your and your families loss. Know that our thoughts and prayers are with you.

Loree · 12-26-2007

wow..........she is beautiful Leasa
remember her that way and know she didn't take her life to hurt you ...she took her life to end her own hurt.....she is at peace now

BonnyW · 12-26-2007

She is beautiful!

Your strength is too.

As I have said before, you are still one of the people I admire the most...you have been through so much adversity and have been able to make it a positive life experience for others.

((HUGS))

12-26-2007	#159 (permalink)
Ginger none Join Date: Apr 2001 Posts: 10,170	I posted on my blog, but I just thought I'd share a photo of my mom here. She really was very beautiful. Hope that's not weird to do. Last edited by Ginger; 12-26-2007 at 12:52 AM..

12-25-2007	#151 (permalink)
Anna top babe admin Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: after 10 wonderful years in Playa, now back in Sweden Posts: 3,158	I have no personal experience with suicide, but I was just thinking... perhaps it is a selfish act in some cases, but perhaps it's also a question of this person being in such a dark place, such dispair, that he/she truly believes the people he/she loves is better off without him/her. Perhaps thinking that will make us understand better, and forgive. Knowing that, you also know that there's nothing you can say to make this person see the light, and that it's not your fault. And even if the person resorting to this final decision doesn't want, need or even deserve forgiveness, finding a way to forgive will help you to let go of the pain. I hope.

12-25-2007	#153 (permalink)
Starfish reposado Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Wisconsin Posts: 1,009	Leasa, I am sooo sorry for your loss. Words just can't say how I feel for you. It's easy to say be strong for your children, when your hurting so much. Please know that all of us here are behind you with our prayers. It's ben a really bad year for alot of my close friends who lost parents this year, I just hope 2008 will be better. Our deepest sympathy to you and your family.

12-25-2007	#154 (permalink)
DavidB añejo Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Mid Mich Posts: 2,825	So sorry for you and your family. I'm glad you decided to go through with Christmas for the kids. There's time enough after Christmas to deal with the circumstances of your mothers death.

12-25-2007	#155 (permalink)
myhappyplace2 añejo Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: The big D with some other kool peeps> Posts: 2,776	Shirlee posting....Leasa I am terribly sad to hear this. My heart goes out to you and your family.

12-25-2007	#157 (permalink)
jmac life=playa Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Manitoba Posts: 716	Hey Leasa, big hugs from us. We know all too well about suicide, my father-in-law did it 8 years ago. His health was not the greatest & he fought depression for many years. We were pissed at first because of our kids, they were 5 & 10 and they did not understand but time heals some and you go on. You can never totally figure it out why they would do it and you will drive yourself crazy (no pun intended) trying to figure it out. You just have to finally (and it takes time) accept that they are rid of their (theirs & NOT yours) demons. Depression is just like the devil. I have 2 cousins who have done it at 18 years old (brothers, 5 years apart to the weekend), they have had many, many suicides in their family (not my side). It is brutal & unforgiving for the people that live with it. I've had mild depression and it's no fun, I can't imagine it that bad. You take time for yourself, grieve, be angry & take care of YOU & then your family or you won't be of any help to them. Take care & hugs from us. It's crappy having it happen at this time of year but you have strength in your family & you'll get through it, just as many of us have before you.

12-26-2007	#158 (permalink)
pamplemoose77 añejo Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: dallas - kinda, tx Posts: 9,535	omg, i'm so sorry to read this, leasa. i just now caught up with this thread, and my heart breaks for you and your family. ((((hugs))))

12-26-2007	#161 (permalink)
Andiline añejo Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Cologne, Germany Posts: 7,745	No Ginger, it is not weird to post her pics. She was your mother after all. It is always hard when a parent dies (I am fortunate enough that mine are still alive) but my best friend is grieving as well and I know how hard it is as I've spoken to her as much as I could in the past 3 weeks. Give yourself time to grieve and remember her in her good times once the anger fades a little bit. hugs Andrea

12-26-2007	#162 (permalink)
KelliG life=playa Join Date: Apr 2006 Posts: 847	The photos of your mom are beautiful.....the way for you to remember her.... I am so sorry for your family....may you all heal and forgive her.

12-26-2007	#163 (permalink)
ThrushJockey añejo Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Minnesota Posts: 2,778	Leasa, Just saw this... Words cannot say how sorry I am for your and your families loss. Know that our thoughts and prayers are with you.

12-26-2007	#164 (permalink)
Loree añejo Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: north of Pittsburgh Posts: 9,477	wow..........she is beautiful Leasa remember her that way and know she didn't take her life to hurt you ...she took her life to end her own hurt.....she is at peace now

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12-26-2007	#165 (permalink)
BonnyW añejo Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Left Coast...So Cal Posts: 9,248	She is beautiful! Your strength is too. As I have said before, you are still one of the people I admire the most...you have been through so much adversity and have been able to make it a positive life experience for others. ((HUGS))