Prayers...or something.

[hrlydavison]

Leasa,

Just read this entire thread,been gone for the holiday. Our family is sending you and yours all the peace and calm for your hearts and minds. You have a great SPARK in you. It shows in all that you write here and in your blog. Use that spark to build a warm fire for your family, let it keep you and your family warm through this difficult time. Let it light the way out of this darkness.

Love to you...Shawn and Family

[Jacko]

Originally Posted by hrlydavison

Leasa,

Just read this entire thread,been gone for the holiday. Our family is sending you and yours all the peace and calm for your hearts and minds. You have a great SPARK in you. It shows in all that you write here and in your blog. Use that spark to build a warm fire for your family, let it keep you and your family warm through this difficult time. Let it light the way out of this darkness.

Love to you...Shawn and Family

Nicely said, Shawn!

[Dianita]

Originally Posted by Ginger

Thanks, Rita.

I have to say one thing, one piece of advice for everyone: forget any wrongdoings your family has done, and just give them lots of love. I wish I had taken that advice. I heard people tell me so many times that I needed to forgive my mom, and just put up with her eccentricities and enjoy life with her while I had it or I'd regret it. I didn't listen, I thought they were wrong, that I was too 'wronged' by my mother to ever have regrets about our somewhat severed relationship. Wow, was I wrong. So wrong. I wish I could go back and forgive her before her death, instead of after, and just hug her, and hold her, and spend time with her, and love her. PLEASE, if you have a hard relationship with a loved one, just heal it however you can. Don't be stubborn like I was.

Dear Ginger/Leasa, you obviously did everything you could to love and care for your mother before you lost her. So many people who suffer from depression and mental illness are shunned by their families. But she wasn't one of of those. You went looking for her when she went missing, your family made it clear that she was still loved/wanted/expected/invited to be part of the family's Christmas celebrations. Some families might have said "She'll show up one of these days" when she went missing, set one less place at the table for Christmas Dinner and even said "good riddance".

I think your mother was so fortunate to have you as her daughter as well as such a caring group of family members.

I spent New Year's Eve in Izamal, said some prayers in the magnificent Church, as well in the Grotto beside it where offerings are left to the Mayan gods. I then went on to a New Year's Eve Yucatecan tradition of burning the muneto viejo. A doll like man holding a bottle of beer, stuffed with firecrackers is burned at the stroke of midnight on the street neat the family's home. The firecrackers and "doll" burst into flames, firecrackers expode in the sky, and eventually only ashes remain. The ashes symbolize the previous year, and the burning of the muneto represents burning the old year with it's pain, grief, loss and suffering, starting the next year with a clean slate of hope. I couldn't help but think of you during the ceremony and hope that 2008 brings you joy to offset the sorrows you've already had to bear and will no doubt encounter again in the loss of your mother. Losing a parent is very difficult, no matter how it happens.

[maestranba]

Leasa, I just found this thread and I'm so sorry for your loss. You'll be going through a lot of emotions, and my prayers are with you and your family. May you find peace in your heart very soon. My mom passed almost four years ago, and even though we had a decent relationship, I regretted not saying "I love you" more often, or calling her more often. It's hard to look back and say "shoulda coulda woulda", you know? Again, I'm thinking of you, John and the kids, and praying for your grief to pass quickly.
Nancy

[Seakony]

I am getting worried about Leasa...anybody heard from her recently?

[cpfstich]

Originally Posted by Seakony

I am getting worried about Leasa...anybody heard from her recently?

She posted the other day on the launch a cat thread.

[Heather]

Originally Posted by Seakony

I am getting worried about Leasa...anybody heard from her recently?

She made a new post on her blog today, just to let everyone know that she's hanging in there, although things are very hard for her. She isn't up to doing too much forum stuff, I don't think. Poor Leasa.

[cpfstich]

Originally Posted by Heather

She made a new post on her blog today, just to let everyone know that she's hanging in there, although things are very hard for her. She isn't up to doing too much forum stuff, I don't think. Poor Leasa.

I sure feel for her and her family. Hang in there Leasa! (HUGS)

[Tesla 573]

Thinking about you and your family Leasa! Miss you.((hugs))

[Loafster]

Leasa, I just caught up with your thread and I can not begin to tell you how sad I am for you and your family. It's hard enough to lose a loved one but knowing it is self inflicted just makes it harder to understand. My sister's boss's wife just killed herself 2 days after Christmas. She was very determined to do it. She was calling gun shops and asking people if she could borrow their gun. Unfortunately, she found a gun and took her life. A relative got one for her. Now this poor soul has to live the rest of his life knowing that he helped her kill herself. She was very determined to end her life. No one can understand mental illness. It's so complicated. Try not to blame yourself for not spending more time with her.
Please know that you all are in my thoughts and prayers.

[Sukidog]

Think'in of ya girl!

[Rissask]

Oh Leasa ....I am so sorry....I missed all this, I was gone, I finally read it all today. What an awful thing for any family to have to deal with over the holidays.

My deepest sympathies about your mom. She was a beautiful woman and she will always be your mom. No matter how sick she was in the end and how badly she maybe behaved at times, or what illnesses she had, that will never change.

I have dealt with a strained relationship with a parent with a problem (alcoholism) in the past, and I know how it goes.... no matter how poor their choices/problems are, they are still our parents and a part of us purely and unconditionally loves them even if we cut them from our loves for our own sanity. I forgave my Dad but it took some time and a lot of work on his part and my part.
I hope you can forgive her. I am sure she didn't want you to be hurting, she just didn't to hurt anymore. Thinking of you.