05-17-2008
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#46 (permalink) | |
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way into it
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Helsinki, Finland
Posts: 140
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Quote:
 This is really great report!  |
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05-17-2008
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#48 (permalink) |
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Niiiice!!
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Not Playa... noooooooo....
Posts: 4,798
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Love this trip report- you two are such a sweet couple!!!
As for the tope- next time you should take Stew, Nessie and me in the car with you on such an occasion. We are REALLY good at yelling "Topeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!" and doing the bump-boing-bump that goes with hitting one at pretty high speed as well!  |
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05-17-2008
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#55 (permalink) |
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Fan of confusion
   Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Body in San Marcos Tx....Tankah in my mind
Posts: 26,044
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slept in late Wednesday morning, think I woke up around 8:15 or so, made some coffee and then went down to the beach to enjoy the view until it was time to wake up Princess Lil G ……… we actually did have an agenda today that we couldn’t weasel out of….. had to pick up Hot Donna at the airport in Cancun and transport her safely to Akumal….. just the thought of it sent me spiraling into depression
 ….. I was gonna be stuck w/ TWO hot chicks for the rest of my vacation…….. sucks to be me !!!!!! …….. well, I finally gathered my emotions and went upstairs to wake up Lil G (luckily in Mexico, she always wakes up semi-happy) so she could make breakfast……… well….. anyway…. So she could warm up some cold leftover pizza cuz we didn’t even come close to makin it to the San Francisco the day before  …….mmmmmmmm….. breakfast was wonderful and about 10:30, we jumped in the Mark 5 and were speeding northward along Hwy 307…… Lil G seemed confused as to why I handed her most of the cash from my wallet, so I explained I had read the city cops were targeting rental cars for “speeding” and if I got pulled over, I really didn’t want to have 3000 pesos in my wallet…… wasn’t too long and I found a big truck in the right lane doin just under the speed limit…… PERFECT !!! ……. I tucked the Mark 5 in just behind his bumper and followed him thru the radar check just north of Calica…… cop never even got the gun on us !!!  …….. we spent like the next 45 minutes stop and goin thru mid morning Playa traffic  and unfortunately, our lead blocker turned off to pick up a load of cement blocks on the north side of Playa  …. So now, I had to find another truck to hide behind before we hit Cancun…… well, the best I could find was a fairly slow moving dump truck just north of Puerto Moreles, but when we hit the 40 kph construction zone just south of the airport, he only slowed down to 60…….. CRAP !!!!!……… ok, so now the big choice……if I slow down to 40, we’ll just be road kill for the vultures…… or, I can just stay on the dump truck’s bumper and hopefully slip thru to the exit……… I don’t care for roadkill, so I crossed my toes and stayed behind my blocker……. Sure enough……… just as we cross under the highway over pass, and just ¼ mile or so from the airport exit, I look over to the right and there is a Policia truck hiding in the trees on the northbound on-ramp …….. but COOL!!!…….. he has no radar gun!!! ……… yep, no radar gun, but apparently his father is a freakin Mexican Free Tail bat cuz I see his lights flash on in the rear view mirror and he winds his way thru the heavy traffic and his buddy points over to the side of the road…….. as my friend Gary would say……. “M**%#@***#%% !!!” so Paco walks up to the driver side window, smiles, leans over slightly, and says “habla espanol” “WHAT ??????”  Paco gathers himself for a minute and then comes back with his best English “Do You Speeeeek Spaneesh ????” so I rattled off in my best Texas drawl “Oh, hell no…. don’t speak a word of Spanish !!! ” Paco became a little depressed, he was gonna have to work a little harder, so again, he breaks out his polished English and asks for my drivers license……. So I pull out my old expired Texas drivers license and hand it to him……. he studies it carefully with the dedication of a highly trained professional and determines that this is indeed a valid Texas drivers license …… now, Paco decides it would be best to have me get out of the car and he directs me back to the police truck to meet his sidekick Pancho….. so, being the polite Texan, I kinda bend down, wave at Pancho, and confirm that these yahoos have no radar gun at all……. Now Paco lectures me on the fact that I was speeding in a 40 kph construction zone…… which, technically, I was “oh, I’m sorry… how fast was I goin??? “ 72 keelometers” “Bullshiite!!!” “ si, 72” “ok, fine what now???” Paco pauses a moment and then decides he needs more info to process the case “ Where are you goeeng???….. to the airport???” “ yeah, I’m goin to the airport” “You leave today???” “ yeah, I leave right NOW !!!” oh, now the little smile comes back to Pacos face and Pancho starts nodding his head...... this should be easy for them “Well, you must pay to get your license back” “That’s cool Paco…. Where do I go” Now Paco is confused and has nothing to say, so I help him along…... “Where do I go to pick up my license???” Insert 21,345 crickets chirping smilie here “ok, slower….. WHERE DO I GO TO PICK UP MY LICENSE ????” Paco is getting nervous now, so he looks over for some direction from Pancho…….. Pancho quickly babbles back and instructs him to tell me I can pay them there….. so Paco turns back to me, acts like it is my lucky day in Mexico, and says.... “You can pay here” ok, so now I’m starting to get a little upset about the waste of my time….. “Ok……… how much is it ???” Paco’s mind goes blank, so I ask again “HOW MUCH IS IT ???” so Pancho looks upwards for a few seconds to confer with the Mayan gods and says “You go 72 in a 40 keelometer “ “ I know all that….. HOW MUCH IS THE TEEEEE-KET ???” I guess the Mayan gods weren’t much help , so Pancho summons a couple of Aztec gods to help with the calculations, then after a minute, he blurts out “ Nine Hundred Nineteee pesos” “Pesos ???…….. I’m from Texas…… how much in American dollars???” obviously, mathematics was not Paco’s strong subject in school, so he turns to Pancho for assistance…….. Pancho’s got nuthin !!!……. so Paco turns and looks at ME for help !!!! “??? Nine Hundreed Ninetee pesos ????” “so…. Like ten bucks then???” the initial look on Pacos face was priceless, he was pondering the idea of all the trouble he was goin thru for ten bucks, how the hell could he sell himself soooooooo short, and how it just couldn’t be worth it …….. after a minute more of discussion with Pancho, Paco comes back with “I theenk it’s almost ONE HUNDREED DOLLARS !!!” ok, so now I’m getting really bored with the whole routine, so I whip out my wallet, bend down to look Paco straight in the eyes, and very loudly say... “ I GOT FIFTEEN BUCKS ……….. DO YOU TAKE VEEEEEEEEEEEZA???” Paco glances at my wallet and confirms to Pancho that I only have 15 bucks……. Pancho is depressed now and I hear him say somethin about my “novia”…… oh freakin excellent !!!...... ya’ll wanna shakedown Lil G ????……….. this is gonna be freakin priceless ....…… might even have to record this confrontation on video ………..oh the profanity !!!!  ..... but after a minute, Pancho determines that this is turning into a big waste of time that would be better spent shakin down some tourists that actually do have money, so , he instructs Paco to make the deal for 15 bucks…….. What a waste of time !!!……. as I’m headin back to the Mark 5, I was tempted to spin around and offer them 200 pesos for a picture of me standing between them, but instead I opted for the polite“gracias amigo….. tenga un bien dia !!!” ……. Didn’t look back to catch their expressions but I assume they weren’t happy with that........ oh well ……. onwards to the terminal to pick up Hot Donna !!! 
__________________
 Do I look like a freakin' groupie ???
Last edited by sctx : 05-17-2008 at 02:25 PM. |
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05-17-2008
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#56 (permalink) |
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añejo
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Mordidaland
Posts: 8,591
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This just in from our Eel Information Desk:
These are gentle giants.  These - much smaller - can be aggressive. They're the ones that swim at me when I carry fish.  But everything is relative: on both occasions my fingers were just centimetres away (less than 10) as I held the camera. Although Paco above looks fiercer, Pancho (below) is the one that may bite you. Last edited by Daddy B : 05-17-2008 at 11:37 AM. |
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05-17-2008
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#58 (permalink) | |
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Fan of confusion
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Body in San Marcos Tx....Tankah in my mind
Posts: 26,044
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