Buying a Round - Etiquette

[January Guy]

I've been pondering this question but couldn't think of who to ask, so who better than all you Peeps? Anyway, yesterday I took my wife out for dinner in downtown Minneapolis for our 10 year anniversary and then we went to an outdoor bar for some live jazz. We were seating on a couch-type of thing and there was a coffee-type table between us and another couch. We had been there only about 5 minutes when another random couple who seemed fairly well off and who already had drinks asked if they could sit no the couch across from us, which is normal as the place was busy and that was one of the last places to sit. The waitress came to take our drink (and cake) order and asked if we were celebrating anything as we were dressed up. When we told her it was our 10 year anniversary, the couple who had sat down with us generously and gregariously offered to buy our drinks/cake.

About 1/2 hour later the waitress came back and we were all ready for another round. I told the waitress I wanted to buy the drinks for the other couple, and they looked a bit disappointed, kind of like they had just wanted to buy our drinks earlier without us feeling obligated to return the favor.

So, what would you have done? Although I can't do anything about last night, I periodically find myself in a position where someone has bought me a drink and then I try to figure out whether I should buy them one back later or not. It's not a money issue as of course I was planning on paying for our drinks to begin with! Personally, I never want anyone to feel obligated to return a favor to me, so if I really want to buy someone's drinks, I usually tell the waitress to put their drinks on my tab when I close mine out and I am leaving.

Sorry for the long e-mail but any thoughts?

Finally, for you Mpls fans, dinner was at Spill the Wine (wouldn't go back, espeically for a special dinner) and drinks were at Bellanotte (awesome). And, we had a great time with the other couple regardless!

[Jacko]

Originally Posted by January Guy

I've been pondering this question but couldn't think of who to ask, so who better than all you Peeps? Anyway, yesterday I took my wife out for dinner in downtown Minneapolis for our 10 year anniversary and then we went to an outdoor bar for some live jazz. We were seating on a couch-type of thing and there was a coffee-type table between us and another couch. We had been there only about 5 minutes when another random couple who seemed fairly well off and who already had drinks asked if they could sit no the couch across from us, which is normal as the place was busy and that was one of the last places to sit. The waitress came to take our drink (and cake) order and asked if we were celebrating anything as we were dressed up. When we told her it was our 10 year anniversary, the couple who had sat down with us generously and gregariously offered to buy our drinks/cake.

About 1/2 hour later the waitress came back and we were all ready for another round. I told the waitress I wanted to buy the drinks for the other couple, and they looked a bit disappointed, kind of like they had just wanted to buy our drinks earlier without us feeling obligated to return the favor.

So, what would you have done? Although I can't do anything about last night, I periodically find myself in a position where someone has bought me a drink and then I try to figure out whether I should buy them one back later or not. It's not a money issue as of course I was planning on paying for our drinks to begin with! Personally, I never want anyone to feel obligated to return a favor to me, so if I really want to buy someone's drinks, I usually tell the waitress to put their drinks on my tab when I close mine out and I am leaving.

Sorry for the long e-mail but any thoughts?

Finally, for you Mpls fans, dinner was at Spill the Wine (wouldn't go back, especially for a special dinner) and drinks were at Bellanotte (awesome). And, we had a great time with the other couple regardless!

I think since it was your special occasion, it would be appropriate to let them buy you drinks without feeling a need to respond in kind...giving is often even more fun than getting...sometimes it is good to just let folks enjoy the giving when it is sincere and accept the gift graciously and warmly........

(and I think you are okay either way really)

[boxi]

Originally Posted by January Guy

I've been pondering this question but couldn't think of who to ask, so who better than all you Peeps? Anyway, yesterday I took my wife out for dinner in downtown Minneapolis for our 10 year anniversary and then we went to an outdoor bar for some live jazz. We were seating on a couch-type of thing and there was a coffee-type table between us and another couch. We had been there only about 5 minutes when another random couple who seemed fairly well off and who already had drinks asked if they could sit no the couch across from us, which is normal as the place was busy and that was one of the last places to sit. The waitress came to take our drink (and cake) order and asked if we were celebrating anything as we were dressed up. When we told her it was our 10 year anniversary, the couple who had sat down with us generously and gregariously offered to buy our drinks/cake.

About 1/2 hour later the waitress came back and we were all ready for another round. I told the waitress I wanted to buy the drinks for the other couple, and they looked a bit disappointed, kind of like they had just wanted to buy our drinks earlier without us feeling obligated to return the favor.

So, what would you have done? Although I can't do anything about last night, I periodically find myself in a position where someone has bought me a drink and then I try to figure out whether I should buy them one back later or not. It's not a money issue as of course I was planning on paying for our drinks to begin with! Personally, I never want anyone to feel obligated to return a favor to me, so if I really want to buy someone's drinks, I usually tell the waitress to put their drinks on my tab when I close mine out and I am leaving.

Sorry for the long e-mail but any thoughts?

Finally, for you Mpls fans, dinner was at Spill the Wine (wouldn't go back, espeically for a special dinner) and drinks were at Bellanotte (awesome). And, we had a great time with the other couple regardless!

I'd do what you have done. But, I also agree with Jacko, since it was your special occasion it would be quite acceptable even if you would not return the favour.

[January Guy]

Thanks for the feedback. Had I known what their reaction was going to be, I probably wouldn't have offered to buy their round, but at least you are making me feel a little better about doing so...

[MaripositaII]

Originally Posted by January Guy

Thanks for the feedback. Had I known what their reaction was going to be, I probably wouldn't have offered to buy their round, but at least you are making me feel a little better about doing so...

So did you end after your round?

I would feel the same way to be honest. I really don't like to take and not give back.

[Just Lucky]

Originally Posted by January Guy

Thanks for the feedback. Had I known what their reaction was going to be, I probably wouldn't have offered to buy their round, but at least you are making me feel a little better about doing so...

Happy belated Anniversary!

It has proven to always be proper to buy me rounds, just so's ya know.

[Mexivoof]

Actually in this situation, it should have been the BAR to buy you a round, at least your first; Not if you are there to 3 AM

Personally I don't think I would have bought them a round since they were honoring your annivesary. But similar scenario, if you smushed over to make room for them to sit in crowded bar and they bought you one; I would reciprocate. Their round says "Gracias"; yours says "de nada".

IMHO

[January Guy]

Originally Posted by MaripositaII

So did you end after your round?

.

Yep, we ended after our round. Rough timeline was they bought the round at 8:45, we bought ours at 9:15, and then my wife and I took off around 9:45 as we were parked on a street in front of a club where they tow after 10PM. Debated going back to move the car and continue hanging out with the couple because we were enjoying them, but I'm training for the SF marathon and I ran a 21 miler this AM so we turned in early.

[January Guy]

Originally Posted by Just Lucky

It has proven to always be proper to buy me rounds, just so's ya know.

If you see me in Playa, entertain my wife and I and if I have enough beers, I certainly would buy you some rounds. I tend to do that in Playa to people who entertain us (must be the Monopoly money concept of pesos).

[Sukidog]

Congrats on your marathon training. 21 miles is a loooong way. I'm undecided on the marathon thing. Have done a half and found it to be very doable. Not to sure about a full yet.

[January Guy]

Originally Posted by Sukidog

Congrats on your marathon training. 21 miles is a loooong way. I'm undecided on the marathon thing. Have done a half and found it to be very doable. Not to sure about a full yet.

I've done 3 (very poorly) but have trimmed up and hoping this is the one I breakthrough. If you have the time to train, I'd recommend doing one - no one can ever take away the sense of accomplishment you'll feel.