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TEXAS TENETS

Never kick a fresh cow chip on a hot day.

There’s two theories to arguin’ with a woman. Neither one works.

If you get to thinkin’ you’re a person of some influence, try orderin’ someone else’s dog around.

Never ask a man the size of his spread.

After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring loudly. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him. The moral: When you’re full of bull, keep your mouth shut.

Never smack a man who’s chewin’ tobacco.

It don’t take a genius to spot a goat in a flock of sheep.

Never ask a barber if he thinks you need a haircut.

Good judgement comes from experience, but a lot of experience comes from bad judgement.

Never drop your gun to hug a grizzly.

When you give a lesson in meanness to a critter or a person, don’t be surprised if they learn the lesson.

When you’re throwin’ your weight around, be ready to have it thrown around by somebody else.

Lettin’ the cat out of the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin’ it back in.

Always take a good look at what you’re about to eat. It’s not so important to know what it is, but it’s real important to know what it was.

Never miss a good chance to shut up.

Write it in your heart. Stand by the code, and it will stand by you.

Ask no more and give no less than honesty, courage, loyalty, generosity, and fairness.

You don’t need decorated words to make your meanin’ clear. Say it plain and keep some breath for breathin’.

Don’t never interfere with something that ain’t botherin’ you none.

If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is to stop diggin’.

If you’re ridin’ ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it’s still there.

It don’t matter so much how long a ride you have, as how well you ride it.

Always drink upstream from the herd.

The first thing to do when you get up in the morning is put on your Stetson.

Don’t worry about biting off more than you can chew. Your mouth is probably a whole lot bigger’n you think.

Don’t get mad a someone who knows more’n you do. It ain’t their fault.

Talk low, talk slow, and don’t say too much.

Generally, you ain’t learnin’ nothin’ when your mouth is a-jawin’.

If you want to forget all your troubles, take a long walk in a brand new pair of high-heeled ridin’ boots.

The wildest critters live in the city.

Trust everybody in the game, but cut the cards anyway.

The quickest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it back in your pocket.

No matter who says what, don’t believe it if it don’t make no sense.

Don’t let so much reality into your life that there ain’t no room left for dreamin’.

Makin’ it in life is sorta like bustin’ broncs; you’re likely to get throwed a lot. The only secret is to keep gettin’ back on.

Never miss a chance to rest your horse.

Go after life as if it were somethin’ that’s got to be roped in a hurry before it gets away.

Don’t squat with your spurs on.