JUST A DRINKING TRIP
Day 1: Jet out of Houston at 7 a.m., in Cancun by 9, grabbed our bags and headed for the dreaded “Red Light”…. Close my eyes, push the button and we’re free and clear for the 8th time straight !!! Everything is going sweet until we step outside… it is now that day 1 goes downhill and I make my FIRST big mistake I can’t believe I was so stupid to not realize that Lil Irish Looking Girl was walking down the sidewalk with…..
Oh my god, a bottle of water !!! One minute later, on the way to get our car, SLAAAAMMMM !!! LILG swan dives onto the pavement…
OUCH !!! OK guys, here’s my SECOND mistake… being a dumbass, I reach down and pick up…. Yeah you guessed it, the bottle of water !!! WRONG MOVE,
Oh, and Pablo is a great help, after picking LILG up off the pavement, he takes her inside and doctors her up….
Gee Pablo, kinda blows your tip, lo siento!!! Absorbed my 3 gallons of grief, got in the car and got outta Cancun as fast as possible.
Gotta turn things around quick at this point, so I exceed the speed limit to get to Puerto Moreles fast and get a Modelo Especial in LILG’s hand. Mission accomplished and we pull out on the highway…. It is then that LILG realizes she left home w/o her….
Bottle opener !!! Realizing that I shouldn’t make a smart ass Irish joke at this critical time, I slam on the brakes and veer onto the shoulder. OK, here we go with my THIRD blunder of the day…. Opened my door, placed the bottle cap firmly on the door hinge and popped the top of the bottle with my hand ….
Oh crap… snapped the neck right off the bottle…. Fearing the same fate as the bottle, I hit the gas and sped for Covi… everything will be fine if I can just get to Covi…. Got to Covi and freaked on the jacked up Tequila prices and then I hear LILG scream “They don’t sell Modelo Especial anymore!!!! ”…
At this point, God steps in….. I walk out the door and look across the highway and see the most wonderful sight… a big sign that says “Modelorama” …. One Texas salute to a bus driver and three minutes later, we’re Modeloized.
Off to Posada Freud now. Had to park almost in Cancun, somewhere near 30th and 6th , grabbed the luggage, LILG grabs the Modelo with a smile and we’re hoofin it to the hotel…. Greeted at the entry by the infamous Carlos with “Welcome to the Porto Real my friends ”… oh yeah, we’re gonna have a good time here, LILG will give this guy a run for his money !!! Got our key, sucked some A/C for a few minutes and then off to the beach.
First stop of the day, Playa Maya. Right off the bat, who do we see ????
It’s McKinzie !!! Ordered up a “BIG” margarita, some Don Julio shooters, and a beer for LILIG and now we are cruising
! Mr Ryberg wanders out for some BS and receives a bottle of the world famous Rudy’s BBQ sauce … hope he’s not vegetarian !!! Steve reciprocates with a free margarita and shot… gracias! Chowed on some great shrimp tacos, got our $57 dollar bill.... hmmm something just ain't right with that !!! and then moved our buzz on over to the Tequila barrel for more margaritas and some shots of Centenario anejo… couple hours later and we’re feeling pretty damn good
, so it’s back to the room for some A/C and a shower before the big game. LILG jumps in the shower and I realize I forgot to pack a critical item, so I’m off to the cigar shop… then I get back to the room and realize we’re outta smokes, so I’m off to the farmacia. Get back, get showered, get ….
, and then we’re off to Cabalova for the Spurs/Lakers game, but Oh S… , here’s my FOURTH blunder of the day…where’s my wallet ??????
Tear the room apart and can’t find it anywhere… LILG assures me everything is cool, even though every bit of cash we had with us was in my wallet... not being stupid, I realize this is something I will hear about for years.. OK, off to the ATM, get more money and then grab first row seats for the game…. Spurs sucked, but we did congratulate all the Laker fans on the way out … it was a hard thing to do , especially after all the S…talking we did during the game. Emotionally crushed, we stumble back to Posada Freud and crash…. The fiasco known as “Day 1” finally ends with some loud snores.
"Day 2" coming to a theater near you soon!!!