In response, I offer this list of things you would likely be better off not saying to a cop, whether he has a sense of humour or not.
Things You Never Say To A Cop
I canít reach my licence unless you hold my beer.
Sorry officer, I didnít realize my radar detector wasnít plugged in.
Arenít you the guy from the Village People?
Hey, you must have been doing 125 to keep up to me, good job!
I thought you had to be in reasonably good shape to be a police officer.
I was going to be a cop, but I decided to finish junior high school instead.
Youíre not going to check the trunk, are you?
Gee, that beer gut sure doesnít inspire confidence.
Didnít I see you get your butt kicked on COPS?
Wow, you look just like the guy in the picture on my girlfriendís night stand.
Is it true people become cops because theyíre too dumb to work at McDonalds?
I pay your salary.
So...eh...you on the take, or what?
Gee officer, thatís terrific. The last few guys only gave me warnings.
Do I know why you pulled me over? Do you? Okay, just as long as one of us does.
I was trying to keep up with the other traffic. Yes, I know there are no other cars anywhere in sight. Thatís how far ahead of me they all are.
What do you mean have I been drinking? Youíre supposed to be the trained observer.
Hey, is that a 9mm? Itís a popgun, compared to this 44 magnum.
Hey, can you give me another of those full-body-cavity searches?
Well, when I reached down to pick up my bag of crack, my gun fell off my lap and got wedged between the brake and the gas pedal, forcing me to speed out of control.