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During our extensive tequila research project - thoroughly documemted (Ad Nauseum) in other threads - Mrs B and I encountered several brands that sported warning labels. As a public service, we are pleased to reproduce them here:

TEQUILA WARNING LABELS


WARNING: The consumption of tequila may leave you wondering what the Hell happened to your bra or trousers.

WARNING: The consumption of tequila may make you think you are whispering when you are not.

WARNING: The consumption of tequila may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.

WARNING: The consumption of tequila may cause you to think you can sing.

WARNING: The consumption of tequila may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.

WARNING: The consumption of tequila may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.

WARNING: The consumption of tequila may make you think you have mysterious Kung-Fu powers, resulting in you getting your ass kicked.

WARNING: The consumption of tequila may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary (whose species and/or name you can’t recall).

WARNING: The consumption of tequila is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead.

WARNING: The consumption of tequila may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than some really, really big guy called Chuck.

WARNING: The consumption of tequila may lead you to believe you are invisible.

WARNING: The consumption of tequila may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.

WARNING: The consumption of tequila may cause a disturbance in the space-time continuum, wherein gaps in consciousness appear.

WARNING: The consumption of tequila may cause pregnancy. (Maybe we should check with Tex about this one?)

WARNING: The consumption of tequila is a major factor in dancing like a geek.

WARNING: The consumption of tequila may cause you to tell the same boring story over and over again until your friends want to SMASH YOUR HEAD IN!!

WARNING: The consumption of tequila may cause you to thay shings like thish.