[Bumper]

Two friends are sitting at Sharkey & The Jaimes’ Beer Bucket. After a bunch of tequilas, over several hours, one guy hiccups, drops his head down and proceeds to hurl all over himself. Wiping his mouth off on his sleeve, he says, “Man, I gotta go home. I’m already hours late and now I’ve thrown up all over myself. The old lady is gonna kill me.”

The second guy turns to him and says, “No she won’t. Listen, you got $20?”

“Yeah, why?”

“Take the twenty, put it in your pocket. When you get home, tell your wife some guy threw up all over you and gave you twenty bucks for dry cleaning. I do it all the time.”

“Great idea!” the first guy says.

The two chums then continued to pound them back for a few more hours. Eventually, they head home.

Sure enough, the guy’s wife is waiting up for him. As he walks through the door, she says, “Look at you! You’re pathetic! You’re five hours late, drunk as a skunk, and you’ve got dried puke all over yourself. What have you got to say for yourself?”

He says, “Wait, honey, this guy threw up all over me and gave me $20 to clean my clothes. I swear that’s what happened. Check my front shirt pocket.”

She reaches in and pulls out TWO twenty dollar bills. “What’s this? There’s forty bucks here!”

He says, “Oh yeah. He crapped in my pants to!”