Tommy...
First off, cordless mice and keyboards are absolute annoyances. Too often, I receive calls where the units have gone wonky due to battery failure. They mostly fail in the middle of an important report. Of course, I always remind the customer that I personally don't use them, endorse, or procure them for my clients. Really doubt there's any hope curing your wireless mouse addiction, so this is probably a wasted paragraph.
Now for your screwdriver delemma, caring a mini foldup screwdriver set (similar to a pocket knife) is an essential tool that you've obviously overlooked. The downside for me, I'll occasionally forget to remove mine from carry-on or my pocket and the feds at airport security will snag it. Otherwise it travels with me everywhere.
And what's this about crud in Minnesota... you obviously picked it up on the plane. Did you remember to wash your hands before and after touching anything on the plane? Then again, perhaps your immune system needs exercising.
By the way, I was up late. Did I miss your distress call? Hopefully, you solved the problem by heading to the nearest lobby bar as others suggested.
Jimmy