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Originally Posted by Bumper
W-A-A-A-A-A-I-I-I-I-T-T, just a damned minute now!!! This still isn't Scott, is it?!?!?! This is really a lunatic fringe Tom Clancy pretender, isn't it?!?!?! And that shadowy dude peeking out from behind that agave plant is Harrison Ford, isn't it?!?!?! Scott is still being held in some fiendish lobe laundry being force fed 2%, partly-skimmed, high-calcium, vitamin-enriched dairy products and bombarded with demonic "Got Milk" ads, isn't he?
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TOP SECRET***LEVEL FIVE
Bump:
It is Scott. It isn't the imposter. For the moment he appears to be alright.
Around 0530, 13 June 2004 I received a message fro PI Harvey Wallbanger. (Yes, I went ahead an fronted the funds after receiving authorization from Higher Authority.) Wallbanger has infiltrated the ALF and is with Scott in Jalisco Province, a bit north of Guadalahara. He assures me we will be receiving further communications from TX in the near future and that he (Scott) is alive, well and consuming nourishment. Specifically, HW smuggled some of the forbidden liquid fruit to him in a milk carton. The idiots never caught on!
I believe Our Hero's 18 years of home schooling in Marine Corps Reconnaisance matters will serve him well. I have asked Wallbanger to arrange for TX to be removed from the dirt floored squalor in which he is being kept so that he can obtain a "Death Before Dishonor" tatoo. I thought that would be better than a USMC bulldog so that his dogs would not be offended when he triumphatly returns home.
I am at the ready. My camos are on; my bush hat is at a jaunty angle; and my dress blues have been removed from the closet in preparation for the awards ceremony in Austin once the Protector of Freedom has returned.
Until the cisis is over, please avoid more than three fingers of single malt at any one time. We must remain sharp and ever vigilant.
Over and out...Former Corporal Manchester, USMC