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As a service to my chum Scotty, who inquired on another thread as to why I seem to be picking on Southerners, to the exclusion of other folks - like Californians, here's a little something. Any other special requests?

HOW DO YOU KNOW YOU’RE IN CALIFORNIA?

1. One of your co-workers has 8 body piercing’s, and none of them are visible.
2. You earn over $250,000 a year and still can’t afford a decent house.
3. You are surprised to overhear 2 people carrying on a conversation in English.
4. Your child’s third grade teacher has purple hair, a nose ring, and is named Breeze.
5. You can’t remember...is pot legal?
6. You’ve been to a baby shower for a child with two mothers and a sperm donor.
7. You have a very strong opinion on where your coffee beans are grown and can detect the difference between Sumatran and Ethiopian.
8. You know which restaurant serves the freshest arugula.
9. Finding a really great parking space can move you to tears.
10. You find nothing wrong with a low speed pursuit interrupting ANY television program.
11. Gasoline costs 75 cents more than anywhere else in North America.
12. A man is in full leather regalia and crotch-less chaps. You don’t even notice.
13. The guy in the baseball cap in Starbucks at 8:30 AM, who looks like George Clooney, IS George Clooney.
14. Your car insurance costs as much as your mortgage payment.
15. Your hairdresser is straight, your plumber is gay, the woman who delivers your mail is into S & M, and your Mary Kay rep is a guy in drag.
16. It’s sprinkling and there’s a special report on every all-news station about “STORM WATCH 2004".
17. You have to leave the big annual company meeting early because Billy Blanks himself is teaching the 4:30 PM Tae Bo class at your gym.
18. You pass an elementary school playground and the children are all busy with their cell phones or pagers.
19. It’s sprinkling outside, so you leave for work an hour early in a vain attempt to avoid all the weather-related accidents.
20. You AND your dog have therapists.