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And just when you thought there couldn't be any more. I got cat stuff up the wazoo.

Cats In Physics

Law of Cat Inertia - A cat at rest will tend to remain at rest, unless acted upon by some outside force, such as the opening of a cat food can, or a nearby scurrying mouse.

Law of Cat Motion - A cat will move in a straight line, unless there is a really good reason to change direction.

Law of Cat Magnetism - All blue blazers and black sweaters attract cat hair in direct proportion to the darkness of the fabric.

Law of Cat Thermodynamics - Heat flows from a warmer to a cooler body, except in the case of a cat, in which case all heat flows to the cat.

Law of Cat Stretching - A cat will stretch to a distance proportional to the length of the nap just completed.

Law of Cat Sleeping - All cats must sleep with people whenever possible, in a position as uncomfortable for the people involved as is possible for the cat to inflict on them.

Law of Cat Elongation - A cat may make its body long enough to reach just about any counter top that has anything remotely interesting on it.

Law of Cat Acceleration - A cat will accelerate at a constant rate, until it gets good and ready to stop.

Law of Dinner Table Attendance - Cats must attend all meals where something good is being served.

Law of Rug Configuration - No rug may remain in its naturally flat state for very long.

Law of Obedience Resistance - A cat’s resistance varies in direct proportion to a human’s desire for it to do something.

Law of Energy Conservation - Cats know that energy can neither be created nor destroyed and will, therefore, use as little energy as possible.

Second Law of Energy Conservation - Cats also know that energy can only be stored by a lot of napping.

Law of Refrigerator Observation - Cats are aware that if they watch a refrigerator long enough, someone will come along and take out something good to eat.

Law of Electric Blanket Attraction - Turn on an electric blanket and a cat will be into bed at the speed of light.

Law of Random Comfort Seeking - A cat will always seek, and usually take over, the most comfortable spot in any given room.

Law of Cat Embarrassment - A cat’s irritation increases in direct proportion to its embarrassment, multiplied by the amount of human laughter.

Law of Bag / Box Occupancy - All bags and boxes in a given room must contain a cat within the first possible nanosecond.

Law of Milk Consumption - A cat will drink its weight in milk...squared, just to show you it can.

Law of Furniture Replacement - A cat’s instinctive need to scratch furniture is directly proportional to the cost of the furniture.

Law of Cat Landing - A cat will invariably land in the softest place possible.

Law of Fluid Displacement - A cat immersed in milk will displace its own volume, minus the amount of milk consumed.

Law of Cat Disinterest - A cat’s interest level will vary in inverse proportion to the amount of effort a human expends in trying to capture its interest.

Law of Pill Rejection - Any pill administered to a cat has the potential to attain escape velocity from the Earth’s gravitational field.

Law of Cat Composition - A cat is composed of Matter + Anti-Matter + It Doesn’t Matter.