Nine charged with bullying in teen's suicide - Page 3

PlayaGroom · 03-30-2010

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sol

Her mother did complain to school oficials.

Well, IMO that should seal the deal as to putting some blame on the school's shoulders...

...but at the same time, even if the school did do something to the bullies, I honestly could see that just escalating the issue even further by making her out to be a tattle-tale.

There's no easy way out for a kid being picked on. Can only imagine what she was truly feeling and going through to lead her to think it wasn't worth going on.

As much as I enjoyed High school, there were almost as many low points that made me loath it as well.

Teenagers suck.

kirbyfan · 03-30-2010

Horribly sad story...

As to the teachers and officials, its a tough call. Educators have an incredibly difficult job and are CONSTANTLY under a microscope. I refuse at this point to point a finger at anyone other than those that did the bullying for in the end they are the ones that should receive the vast majority of the blame here.

melliedee · 03-30-2010

Quote:

Originally Posted by kirbyfan

Horribly sad story...

As to the teachers and officials, its a tough call. Educators have an incredibly difficult job and are CONSTANTLY under a microscope. I refuse at this point to point a finger at anyone other than those that did the bullying for in the end they are the ones that should receive the vast majority of the blame here.

Hard to tell yet, but all reports I have read claim that the majority of these incidents happened on the school grounds. If that is the case, and it had been ongoing to the extent that it was noticable to other students and teachers as well as brought to the attention of administrations, then the school is culpable, imo. By looking the other way, they may have inadvertently provided an atmosphere where this kind of hazing flourished and spread.

Buggirl · 03-30-2010

Quote:

Originally Posted by kirbyfan

Horribly sad story...

As to the teachers and officials, its a tough call. Educators have an incredibly difficult job and are CONSTANTLY under a microscope. I refuse at this point to point a finger at anyone other than those that did the bullying for in the end they are the ones that should receive the vast majority of the blame here.

This may be true, but to a large extent school administrations don't want to make waves by taking bullies to task. There needs to be a good amount of proof before a school system can even think about punishing a bully. Even when there is ample evidence of bullying- the parents of bullies can sometimes be as bad, or worse than the bully him/herself- and make the lives of school administrators' hell. I think for this reason, a "we had no idea this was happening" mentality prevails in these situations. Ask the teachers what they saw- I bet they have a much different story than the administrators. I absolutely think the school system needs to shoulder some blame in situations like this- there is no way they couldn't have done more to help this poor girl.

It's all just so heartbreaking- being a kid is hard enough under normal circumstances.

Rissask · 03-30-2010

Schools have to be held somewhat responsible for incidents that happen on school grounds- of course they cannot be expected to know about things that are happening beyond their backs, though, even on school grounds. Bullies are careful to avoid teacher attention I am sure.

I think they should have seminars on bullying too, as well as counselling available, etc.

TAPPY · 03-30-2010

Girls are sooooooo mean at this age....can I just tell ya !
Even to there best friends...

my heart breaks for this whole situation.......

I blame the school for not having a zero policy....and enforcing it.
I hope all the kids involved pay dearly for this.

cpfstich · 03-31-2010

The problem in my opinion is that technology has once again far out weighed society's common sense. We all love the instant technology of communicating with whomever we want..life is good! But with this goldmine.... we all are experiencing the bad sides of instant technology! This sadly is another example. Parents..monitor your kids cell phone usage...parents...set an example....monitor your own cell phone usage.

**ryberg** · 03-31-2010

I've been following this story, too...

Reminds me of our years in Japan, where bullying in schools is a rather more widespread problem and it really wasn't all that unusual to hear that some victimized child had decided to kill him/herself. Often they were younger, too, maybe 11 or so, not even teens yet.

I think it is a sort of mob mentality that gets rolling, in the end, on the part of the perpetrators. And then a sort of self-stifling that gets rolling among others who might otherwise speak up.

I know it seems cliche to mention such a comparison, but I happen to be reading a book Jo recommended to me last year when we had a short visit with her in Germany -- this one -- and even though I'm not far in, you can already see it happening in pre-war Germany around the life of a little boy and those around him. It's disturbing to think how similar some underlying behavioral patterns in this society here today may actually be when compared to those seen in the greatest example of everything gone terribly wrong that the modern world seems to be able to come up with.

STOGEY · 03-31-2010

Quote:

Originally Posted by melliedee

More on the legislation:

9 Teenagers Are Charged After Classmate?s Suicide - NYTimes.com

Why didn't the parents try to stop it? Why should it take legislation to address the problem?

Sol · 03-31-2010

Quote:

Originally Posted by STOGEY

Why didn't the parents try to stop it? Why should it take legislation to address the problem?

This is what I keep asking myself. Why did the people who had some power to control this situation just let it develop into a tragedy?

STOGEY · 03-31-2010

That is why schools should be lawyer free zones. When I was younger if you had a problem you would deal with it. Now days if you deal with the problem you're the one who gets in trouble.

STOGEY · 03-31-2010

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rissask

Schools have to be held somewhat responsible for incidents that happen on school grounds- of course they cannot be expected to know about things that are happening beyond their backs, though, even on school grounds. Bullies are careful to avoid teacher attention I am sure.

I think they should have seminars on bullying too, as well as counselling available, etc.

If schools can find out if their students have been posting naughty pictures on face book, you tube etc. Don't you think they know if their is extreme harassment going on?

Rissask · 03-31-2010

Quote:

Originally Posted by STOGEY

If schools can find out if their students have been posting naughty pictures on face book, you tube etc. Don't you think they know if their is extreme harassment going on?

So you are saying it is up to the SCHOOLS to monitor kids' internet use at HOME??

I don't think so. That is the parents' job.

PCANNIE · 03-31-2010

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rissask

So you are saying it is up to the SCHOOLS to monitor kids' internet use at HOME??

I don't think so. That is the parents' job.

I didn't think Stogey was saying it was up to the schools to monitor internet use at home, (that is really the parents job), he just commented that schools can find out easy enough if kids have been posting inappropriate stuff, if they so choose to look for it. Kids don't realize that whatever goes online becomes public domain and never really disappears. I took his comment to mean " if they can find this info out why don't they see the bullying going on at school?"

Rissask · 03-31-2010

Quote:

Originally Posted by PCANNIE

I didn't think Stogey was saying it was up to the schools to monitor internet use at home, (that is really the parents job), he just commented that schools can find out easy enough if kids have been posting inappropriate stuff, if they so choose to look for it. Kids don't realize that whatever goes online becomes public domain and never really disappears. I took his comment to mean " if they can find this info out why don't they see the bullying going on at school?"

oh

Makes a bit more sense.

But -it is still not the teachers' job to worry about out of school computer postings. It's the parents'. They do enough jobs arleady. They may hear whisperings about it, but really- if they did take the bull by the horns and call the parents- realistically- how many parents would just snap at them and tell them to butt out and mind their own business?

Other than taking basic steps that all schools should take, such as having a bullying/harassment policy firmly in place, and taking action when complaints arise- there are things that are not and should not be in the teachers' job description.

03-31-2010	#38 (permalink)
ryberg playa maya guy Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: real America (reality-based community) Posts: 27,965	I've been following this story, too... Reminds me of our years in Japan, where bullying in schools is a rather more widespread problem and it really wasn't all that unusual to hear that some victimized child had decided to kill him/herself. Often they were younger, too, maybe 11 or so, not even teens yet. I think it is a sort of mob mentality that gets rolling, in the end, on the part of the perpetrators. And then a sort of self-stifling that gets rolling among others who might otherwise speak up. I know it seems cliche to mention such a comparison, but I happen to be reading a book Jo recommended to me last year when we had a short visit with her in Germany -- this one -- and even though I'm not far in, you can already see it happening in pre-war Germany around the life of a little boy and those around him. It's disturbing to think how similar some underlying behavioral patterns in this society here today may actually be when compared to those seen in the greatest example of everything gone terribly wrong that the modern world seems to be able to come up with. Last edited by ryberg; 03-31-2010 at 12:48 AM..

03-30-2010	#32 (permalink)
kirbyfan back again, again Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Minnesota Posts: 9,441	Horribly sad story... As to the teachers and officials, its a tough call. Educators have an incredibly difficult job and are CONSTANTLY under a microscope. I refuse at this point to point a finger at anyone other than those that did the bullying for in the end they are the ones that should receive the vast majority of the blame here.

03-30-2010	#35 (permalink)
Rissask Canada Dry Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: Saskatchewan, Canada Posts: 49,566	Schools have to be held somewhat responsible for incidents that happen on school grounds- of course they cannot be expected to know about things that are happening beyond their backs, though, even on school grounds. Bullies are careful to avoid teacher attention I am sure. I think they should have seminars on bullying too, as well as counselling available, etc.

03-30-2010	#36 (permalink)
TAPPY añejo Join Date: Jan 2004 Posts: 21,148	Girls are sooooooo mean at this age....can I just tell ya ! Even to there best friends... my heart breaks for this whole situation....... I blame the school for not having a zero policy....and enforcing it. I hope all the kids involved pay dearly for this.

03-31-2010	#37 (permalink)
cpfstich añejo Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: The Badger State! Posts: 16,621	The problem in my opinion is that technology has once again far out weighed society's common sense. We all love the instant technology of communicating with whomever we want..life is good! But with this goldmine.... we all are experiencing the bad sides of instant technology! This sadly is another example. Parents..monitor your kids cell phone usage...parents...set an example....monitor your own cell phone usage.

03-31-2010	#41 (permalink)
STOGEY Allah Akhbar Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: salisbury, mass. Posts: 16,412	That is why schools should be lawyer free zones. When I was younger if you had a problem you would deal with it. Now days if you deal with the problem you're the one who gets in trouble.

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