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Old 09-19-2010   #1 (permalink)
aņejo
 
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Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Winnipeg, Canada
Posts: 14,212
Talking Some New Words

Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

Reintarnation (v): Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

Foreploy (v): Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of obtaining sex.

Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.

Giraffiti (n): Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

Tatyr: A lecherous Mr. Potato Head.

Sarchasm (n): The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the recipient who doesn't get it.

Inoculatte (v): To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

Hipatitis (a): Terminal coolness.

Osteopornosis (n): A degenerate disease.

Burglesque (n): A poorly planned break-in. (See: Watergate)

Karmageddon (n): It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like a serious bummer.

Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

Glibido (n): All talk and no action.

Dopeler effect (n): The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

Arachnoleptic fit (n): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

Beelzebug (n): Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

Caterpallor (n): The color you turn after finding half a grub in the fruit you're eating.

Intaxication (n): Euphoria at getting a refund from the IRS, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

Ignoranus (n): A person who's both stupid & an asshole

Contratemps (n): the resentment permanent workers feel toward the fill-in workers.

Vaseball (n): a game of catch played by children in the living room.

Acme (n): a generic skin disease.

Doltergeist (n): a spirit that decides to haunt someplace stupid, such as your septic tank.

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