I found this with a bunch of stuff from cleaning out my mom's house... Man, those adults sure were funny!!
BIRTH OF A CANDY BAR
One day MR. GOODBAR wanted a BIT-O-HONEY, so he took Miss HERSHEY behind the POWERHOUSE on the corner of CLARK and FIFTH AVENUE. He began to feel her MOUNDS and that was sure ALMOND JOY, which made her TOOTSIES ROLL. He let out a SNICKER as his BUTTERFINGER went up her KITKAT and caused a MILKY WAY. She screamed "OH HENRY" as she squeezed his PETER PAUL and ZAGNUTS. Miss HERSHEY said "you are enven better than the THREE MUSKETEERS." Soon she was a bit CHUNKY and nine months later she had a BABY RUTH!