Becoming Sober

[TJordan]

Originally Posted by Mogley

Good job Bud, That is eight more than the person who is struggeling with this same decission. There is many and that is huge to them as it should be to you.

Not sure how you are doing this as you have not stated, cold turkey on your own or with a group or program.

I think one of the things to remember if you are going it alone is that the bad memories always seem to fade before good ones. So, even though you will feel a whole lot better at some point in your future, the memory of the good times with booze and the societal presure will make you question your choice: "Oh, I can have one, They are having a great time and I am having no fun at all, Man that sure would taste good", etc.

That why I always say the"one is to many and a Barrel is not enough" thats how I drank. Attempting to just have one or a few is an absolutly misserable experence.

My other recomendation is to get involved in a selfless behavior, give something away, do volunteer work of some sort. You will have a few extra hours now that use to go to drinking. Helping people less fortunate than you will make you see the beauty of life on a different level. It is also a proven fact that it helps with depression.

The one day at a time thing is just lifes most simple concept. Live life today don't worry about tomorrow. I still get overwhelmed if I think I will never drink again.........because I know it is not necessarly true...you have to protect it each day

Thank you for all your help Mogs, I really really appreciate it.

I will be doing this by myself...well, I have you guys, and my family, and friends...

My Family has been very supportive, both my mom and dad cried when Itold them. My friends for the most part have been supportive...a few have said, "oh it won't last"...but those are not real friends I guess.

Most have said, "wow Tyler, good for you" which makes me feel even better.

[playafool]

Originally Posted by Mogley

Good job Bud, That is eight more than the person who is struggeling with this same decission. There is many and that is huge to them as it should be to you.

Not sure how you are doing this as you have not stated, cold turkey on your own or with a group or program.

I think one of the things to remember if you are going it alone is that the bad memories always seem to fade before good ones. So, even though you will feel a whole lot better at some point in your future, the memory of the good times with booze and the societal presure will make you question your choice: "Oh, I can have one, They are having a great time and I am having no fun at all, Man that sure would taste good", etc.

That why I always say the"one is to many and a Barrel is not enough" thats how I drank. Attempting to just have one or a few is an absolutly misserable experence.

My other recomendation is to get involved in a selfless behavior, give something away, do volunteer work of some sort. You will have a few extra hours now that use to go to drinking. Helping people less fortunate than you will make you see the beauty of life on a different level. It is also a proven fact that it helps with depression.

The one day at a time thing is just lifes most simple concept. Live life today don't worry about tomorrow. I still get overwhelmed if I think I will never drink again.........because I know it is not necessarly true...you have to protect it each day

Very well said and like a good sponsor....

[playafool]

Originally Posted by TJordan

Thank you for all your help Mogs, I really really appreciate it.

I will be doing this by myself...well, I have you guys, and my family, and friends...

My Family has been very supportive, both my mom and dad cried when Itold them. My friends for the most part have been supportive...a few have said, "oh it won't last"...but those are not real friends I guess.

Most have said, "wow Tyler, good for you" which makes me feel even better.

All my true friends said Its about time!!! I guess they knew before I did.
Stay sober today and you will be surprised

[Mexivoof]

Originally Posted by playafool

All my true friends said Its about time!!! I guess they knew before I did.
Stay sober today and you will be surprised

In the book "Get Up, A 12 Step Guide for Freaks, Misfits and Weirdos" their 1st step is "Admit what your friends already know"

The title is a paraphrase. The book is by Bucky Sinister and is available on Amazon. A slightly irreverent but useful tool. I enjoyed it.

[playafool]

Originally Posted by Mexivoof

In the book "Get Up, A 12 Step Guide for Freaks, Misfits and Weirdos" their 1st step is "Admit what your friends already know"

The title is a paraphrase. The book is by Bucky Sinister and is available on Amazon. A slightly irreverent but useful tool. I enjoyed it.

Thanks for the book tip. I will read it. I don't know anybody in AA that doesn't fit under at least one of those titles. Me I fit all three.

[Seakony]

I am happy to hear you are taking steps to change your life for the better. Just remember, no pain, no gain. Best wishes..you can do it!

[Nerak936]

Originally Posted by playafool

Thanks for the book tip. I will read it. I don't know anybody in AA that doesn't fit under at least one of those titles. Me I fit all three.

I kinda got that impression - just by looking at your avatar!!

[playafool]

Originally Posted by Nerak936

I kinda got that impression - just by looking at your avatar!!

Thanks, I think

[Nerak936]

Originally Posted by playafool

Thanks, I think

Just givin' ya a poke in the ribs, PF.

[playafool]

Originally Posted by Nerak936

Just givin' ya a poke in the ribs, PF.

meow

[Jo]

Originally Posted by TJordan

7 Days sober....It's small, but it's a start.

One day at a time...... one of the most important things in recovery, imho. Don't think about all the years ahead of you, stay in the now and in the now make the conscious descision to stay sober "just for today".

As you might now I am currently (since one and a half years) working with addicts- of illegal drugs, mostly, but also working on our ward for alcohol and pill related addictions at times.

Alcohol consumption often goes hand in hand with depression and anxiety issues. Which is hen and which is egg is often hard to tell- some start drinking in order to "self-medicate" their depression.......others start drinking first and then get depressed.
In the end it's a cat that bites it's own tail- as alcohol consumption on a regular basis and in bigger amounts causes depression, too.......so you drink more......and get more depressed.......and drink more......an endless spiral.

You decided to break that spiral, and that's great.
As for the next steps: get all the help you can get, from professionals and recovering addicts alike.
Fact is that what comes now will be a phase of learning- learning how to cope with sadness, frustration, anger OTHER than drinking. And it WILL be hard and you MIGHT relapse- it's all part of the problem.
Question is how you'll deal with those hardships and possible relapses- and for that you should get advice.

Find a good psychologist/ therapist to go to the root of your problems.
Go to a self-help group...... AA is the most popular one, if that's not for you due to the spirituality attached to it then seek out others in your area.
A good online resource based on the twelve step programs- like a meeting online- is "In the rooms". Look into that, too. There is tons of info there and also a chat room you can turn to in crisis.

As for your friends- there will be some that you can adress this with openly...... do so. If they don't understand and support you I dare say they are not your friends, because if they are your friends your well-being should be the most important thing to them, too.
As for situations like parties and such where folks will not know why you are not drinking- here is some adivce/ training we give to our patients:
- you can say you are a designated driver, thus not drinking as you take it seriously.

- OR: someone comes up and is trying to force a drink upon you......decline, friendly. If he keeps trying it- decline again, try to change the subject ("LOOK- shiny object!!"). If he keeps insisting- ask him why he is insisting, and tell him that if he keeps insisting you will leave the converstaion.

You can practise the latter with a friend, we practise it in groups on the wards.........it's really a matter of being clear and setting boundaries to others, which can be the hardest thing to do.


Lot's of power and strength to you on this road- it's a good path that you have chosen.

[TJordan]

Thank you Jo for all of your wonderful advice.

I have made plans to go to an AA meeting next week, just see how I like it.

[Nerak936]

Originally Posted by TJordan

I have made plans to go to an AA meeting next week, just see how I like it.

I think that's a great idea, TJ. You might find it a lot of help. AA's been around a long time, so I guess they must be doing something right, huh?!!

You're taking control, TJ. That's awesome.

[playafool]

TJ not all AA meetings are the same. They do have them for younger people also. IMO try a speaker meeting first. Be open minded and willing to do what it takes and great things will happen for you, sometimes quickly sometimes slowly they will always result if you work for them. Everyday I thank God for staying sober.....

[TJordan]

So, Thursday evening my brother is having people over to grill out and for a little bonfire.

I'm really not looking forward to this...It's not that I will drink, I'm just not looking forward to all of the questions...